pregnant & scared of doing it alone

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    im 22 years old and 8 weeks pregnant. iv been with my boyfriend for just over a year and a half now – i love him with all my heart and thought we would be forever. until 3 weeks ago when i got the totally unexpected news that i was pregnant. we hadnt thought about havin kids for years. when i told him, he was so upset and said the best thing to do was to terminate the pregnancy, but said he would support me whatever my decision.

    i kinda let him talk me into thinking it was the only option so agreed to the termination. when i got the date, all i could do everyday was cry and cry – thinking of what i was going to do. he couldnt deal with me being so upset so kept leaving me for hours on end so he wouldnt have to talk to me – as i think he knew that deep down i did not want to get rid of my baby. this happened almost everyday – until the night before i was due to go for the termination – when he said that he couldnt handle me being this way and didnt know if he could stay with me as he needs to focus on his career but he cant do that with me being so upset all the time. so i cancelled the appointment and came home to stay with my family for a week to clear my head.

    he says he loves me but is not ready for a child and expects me to act like nothing is happening. im not ready for a child either – but i couldnt live with the guilt of destroying my baby. i want my child and think i would be a really great mum – but i dont want to do it alone – i want to be a family. what can i do???? i need to find some strength from somewhere but im struggling and feel so alone


    Post edited by: tabbycat, at: 2005/04/26 19:08


    Dear girl,

    I’m a brazilian living in the USA and now I’m a happy mom of two teens. But, in 1985, a week before my husband and I got engaged we knew I was pregnant. We were so afraid and scared that we decided to terminate the pregnancy. He had his career, as an engineer, and I had mine, so we decided to do it. When I was on the table with the doctor in front of me to get rid of the baby, I tryed to stop him by saying "NO" but he pretended not to listen to me and did the abortion. Years later I read that the same thing happened to many women : they tried to stop the doctor but they couldn’t. My husband and I cry everytime we think about what we have done to the baby because we killed someone that could not defend himself. We repented so deeply but we can not change the past. I’ll be praying for you, but just remember you already love this baby inside of you. You give yourself to this guy in love and this is a fruit of your love. Even if he doesn’t want the baby, you’ll never be alone because God will be with you always. I could feel your love for this baby by reading your message. Dear girl, you are a 22 years old a woman full of love and even that right now things are confusing you’ll be able to handle it .



    Hey, i am 17 years old and 17 weeks pregnant. my bf wanted me to terminate the pregnancy in the beginning but i dont believe in that… and now he wants me to give the baby up for an open-adoption. he said that he is not ready to raise a child. nobody is really ready… but he did basically tell me that if i keep this baby he is going to leave so it sucks. i dont know what to do either…. i just want you to know that i am praying for you. and hang in there.


    I forgot to tell you you shoult just dump the loser. There’s this book out there that’s called, "He’s Just Not That intoYyou." If this guy loved you, he wouldn’t bail out on you like that. From the book I will always remember, "when there’s doubt, the answer is always no." When you think he’s not treating you right, then the answer is, "No, I deserve better, I will not put up with this loser."


    First off let me say what you did was a beautiful, courageous thing. Know that you can rely on God. He knows your situation inside and out and will provide you with all you will need if you just turn to him. He sees the whole picture, allow him to guide your path.
    Proverbs 20:24 "How can we understand the road we travel? It is the Lord that directs our steps"
    Proverbs 2:9-11 "Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair, and you will know to find the right course of action every time. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy. Wise planning will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe."
    Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths."
    James 4:10 "When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor."
    !st peter 5:7 "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you."


    thanks for the advice girls, its great to know that even people who dont know me will take time out to think of me.

    im sure having my baby will give me all the strength i need as i love it so so much already. hopefully my boyfriend will come round and we can be a family, but if not i know i will make a great mum and give it enough love for the both of us.

    regina – thanks xxx

    shae – im praying for you too xxx

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