Pregnant at 21

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    Well I’am now 15weeks pregnant and my boyfren and I are not doing so good. I’am so confussed, and honestly do not even want to spend the rest of my life with him. I never in my life dreamed of being a single mother, after seeing what my mom went through. I don’t want to be poor, and all I want to do is have the very best for my child. I thought of abortion, but when I was 17years old I had one….:( and it made me so depressed. I was so emotional, and still am. Sometimes I think my child may be disabled or have something wroung as a punishment for what I did when I was 17. I thought maybe I would have a misscarriage. Maybe GOD does want me to have a child, maybe this is my destiny. I’m in my second year of college, and have only one semester left. My boyfren allthough has one year of high school left, so it is dreading me that hes thinking of dropping out. Education is important to me and it upsets me that he may drop out. I know alot of girls/women have it worse but honestly I’m not ready for this. I’m scared…..May 30th I find out if the baby is a boy or girl. I’m so depressed thou, maybe it’s the hormonal change. all I know is I’m unhappy, and was thinking of adoption. I don’t know what to do, but really I don’t think I can give my child away.
    Sometimes I feel like I should committ sucide, but thats the easy way out, and I would just make the people who love me miserable. Sometimes I just wish I could just get away, be away and think….
    My family knows but my boyfrens family doesn’t know and I know they will be furious. They alway hated me ( I think) it’s just cause I’m older I guess… I met my boyfren when I was 15 and he was 13 and we have been on and off since then. I have been with another guy before, and I always find myself thinking about him and what life would be like with him. Sometimes I just wish this other man would of got me pregnant. Atleast he would be able to afford my child….with my boyfren, he sells weed and goes to high school. He lives with his dad and I live alone with my brother. I don’t know why I got involved with a younger guy……All I know is I need something positive in my life right now, encouragement or something before I sink into a hole of darkness…..:(


    🙂 I know you can do it. I’m expecting my 2nd and possibily 3rd child and i will turn 21 in august.I had my daughter when i was 19. Me and my fiancee get along really good but my friend has a 15 mos old son and is doing it on her own.Shes working and just got an apartment. if she can do it i know you can.She was 18 when she had her son. The father was never hardly around or when he was he didnt help her with anything.Like i said if she can do it then so can you! Good luck and dont give up the infant growing inside you.It will be a huge mistake. Keep me updated!


    Post edited by: Julie, at: 2006/05/12 02:29


    Hey I know it seems like your in a really bad situation right now but when you finally see him or her. You will think it’s worth it! Suicide is not the answer. It’s a permanent solution to a temperary problem. I really don’t think you will think it’s a bad thing once the time comes. And there is always the safe surrender law. You can give any newborn up to 7 days old to the hospital, no questions asked if you still don’t want it. Really consider adoption over abortion. You can have an open adoption, where you still see your baby if u want. Hope I helped you a little.

    Post edited by: Julie, at: 2006/05/12 02:36


    I had a good guy friend all through high school. He had a crush on me and asked me out, but I turned him down because of the age difference (I was 3 years older). When I was 19 and he was 16, after I had gone through a devastating break-up I caved in and we began dating. We were both virgins at the time but after years of sexual tension behind the friendship that didn’t last long. It was really a mistake. I had a scare where I thought he might be pregnant. He said since he was young he didn’t think he could be there for me. It turned out I wasn’t pregnant, but I realized I needed someone who was mature enough to be supportive of me as well. I broke up with him but our friendship was destroyed.

    I won’t tell you what you should do as far as the relationship. Consider what is best for you and what is best for the baby. Don’t stay in a bad relationship because you are pregnant, but do allow him the opportunity to be involved with his child even if you do not stay in a relationship with him. Please do not have an abortion. If you can’t handle a child right now adoption is always a good option.


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