This topic contains 8 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by Rachel Slimick .
- September 28, 2006 at 8:01 pm #11997
Help. I hurt soooo bad. Me and my husband have been together for four years and soon to be four children, and now he found someone else and is throwing all of us away. Right now I am pregnant with twin girls, and we have a two year old son and a nine month old daughter, and he chose to leave all of us for another woman. I’m so broken. I’m losing my best friend and my soul mate, and I don’t know how to deal with all of this. He is abusive, and does nothing but lie to me anymore, so me and the kids are moving away before the twins are born, is this a bad idea? He doesn’t want to fight for custody, or to keep us in town, so I’m leaving. How do I deal? Any advice at all is greatly appreciated. Sorry this is so long, I needed to vent.
19 yrs.October 3, 2006 at 1:05 pm #12043
I think you are doing the smartest, bravest thing you can. If he is abusive and lying you should leave him, or if he finds out this new girl is just a passing thing after you leave, he will come find you. Things will get better, know I am here and you are in my prayers.
TeresaOctober 5, 2006 at 2:46 pm #12070
By leaving him you are doing the smartest bravest thing you can. If he is just lying to you and does not really love you you are better off without him, or, if this new girl is just a passing thing and he really loves you and the kids more he will come and find you. Good luck, know I am here praying for you.
TeresaOctober 10, 2006 at 6:17 pm #12169
I think that you are making the right decision by moving. I mean, if he doesn’t want to be in your life, don’t let him. Since your 19, and been with him since about 15, then he is probably one of your "first loves." All you need is your children. You don’t need a guy to make you happy. That’s what us women forget. I know that if my Fiance left me, i would be torn apart and probably be where you are today (minus 3 kids) by thinkin that you need him. BUt in reality, you dont. Get child support and if he wants this other woman so bad, let him. I know its tough but if you can be a single mother and raise 4 kids, you are seriously a hero. no joke. sounds gay but its fer real. email me if you need to vent, talk, need advice, anything..October 12, 2006 at 1:38 pm #12214
hey girl go you for stepping up and doing the right thing not only for your kids but for yourself. i can only imagine all the hurt you are going through and i only wish i could take it away from you and i dont even know you. if your husband has chosen to walk away from yall then that is something he is going to have to live with for the rest of his life.. but would you want to live with regret that you took your hurt out on your children? they are innocent little angels and they cant help the problems that you and your husband might be experiencing. so yes i do think it was the right decision to get out of that relationship. let your kids motivate you through all of this… let those little unborn babies push you to get over the pain. this will most likely without a doubt take some time to heal from but you can do it.. you have to be strong for them… they are relying on you. your husbands lying and abusive behavior only puts stress on you and those babies.. all of them. yall dont deserve that. God is testing you for something.. dont let him down… show him you can do it.. and if you believe in God pray to him.. ask him to help guide you through this hard time in your life. and dont forget he knew all of this was going to happen and he has a plan for you and he doesnt make mistakes. ask for his help.. things will get better.. they might get worst before they get better but dont give up on God.. because he isnt going to give up on you. if you have a relationship with your family.. turn to them also.. maybe they can help you out also. but girl dont give up. you know what is right for you and those babies so you make the decisions that will make everything right. i will support you and you can email me anytime.. or email me and i will give you my number and you can call me because i know you need people to support you. i will be here for you to talk to from here on out.. maybe you are the reason that God made me sign onto this website tonight.. because your story has hit my heart in a weird way and i feel that i was directed to this site to help you.. so you let me know anything i can do to help you. you will get through this!!! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!October 17, 2006 at 2:43 pm #12317
i havn’t personally been through this but my sis who is 22 at the mo is going through the same thing, she has a 3 year old son and is due wth her second at the end of jan. he husband has jsut picked up and left saying he will have contact on his terms and all that. what she is doing is focusing all her attention on to the baby, shes getting the babys room all organised and making that her focus, shes doing it really hard but the babys her biggest strenghtOctober 28, 2006 at 3:58 pm #12622
Aww hun! i feel for you.
Four years is a fair time for him to just throw it away. I think you are making a good choice with moving away.He will realise soon what he has lost. Take car of yourself and your kids! Remember they are the main priority now.October 29, 2006 at 1:51 am #12639
Sweetie you are better off getting out of that relationship. He is abusive to you? then he will hurt your kids. I kno you want to best for your children. What is best for you right now really doesnt matter. Maybe he wasnt your soul mate. Sometimes God puts different people in our lives to make us realize certain things. But its up to you to find out what it is. He doesnt know how good he has it. Leave him alone. Let him be that other girl’s problem. Karma is a b&%&^ and he will learn that. Try not to stress about it because its not good for the babies & I know losing one of them or both of them would hurt even worse [ive been there] so just leave him be & worry about you…because he isnt…
Best wishes & I will pray for you & your kids 🙂November 10, 2006 at 8:15 am #12980
Hi, I just want to let you know that I to believe you are doing the best thing. I was in a relationship from the age of 14 till I was 23. He cheated all the time and abused me physically and emotionally. At 19 we were engaged and in October of 2003 when I was 23 we were supposed to get married but in March 2003 I woke up one day and thought "what am I doing, this is a BIG mistake" I took off and never thought about it twice. I gave up my house, my pets, my friends and just about everything else I owned just to get out and it was worth it. If I had to do it again I would in a heart beat. We are now friends and I hope the best for him but there is not one day that goes by that I regret this. When I was 19 he was the love of my life, I thought I couldn’t live without him but guess what 4 years later I realized that I had been lying to myself and I did what was best for me. That’s what you need to do but you also have children so think about them and what’s best. they to are being hurt by the situation you are in. Don’t put yourself or your children through another minute of this. he’s not worth it and if he would turn his back on his own children then that shold tell you what kind of person he really is. You will get back on your feet and when you do you will be so happy he is gone and you will find the love of your life when are aren’t really looking for him. Any man that cheats never loved you. Keep your head up, be a strong woman cause all of us are and stand your ground. I wouldn’t give him the time of day if he begged for it either. You will be fine, women are the strongest creatures on earth, we have to be. I’m here if you want to talk. Be strongfor yourself and you precious babies, you’ll be fine!;)
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