Please anybody tell me how to deal with this…

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  • #22028
    Avatardysphoric_chick

    its been about a year since the procedure and i honestly feel like i dont deserve to live…my babys gone…my boyfriend and i cant speak about it…he says he doesnt know what to do for me…im self destructing…finding comfort in all the wrong things…drugs, alcohol, parties…but when i lay in bed at night…my feelings of guilt, resentment, anger and mostly longing for my baby still haunts me…how could i do it…please tell me how to deal with these feelings…anybody..please

    #22053
    AvatarStephanieSays

    Take it one day at a time. Don’t feel guilty for the past. You can’t change it, but you can learn from it. Today is a new day, and by seeking help and admitting that you have an issue you have already gotten over the biggest obstacle. 🙂

    #22077
    Avatarnadza

    one of my (many many many) lyf philosophys are
    “never dwell in the past or past mistakes, instead forgive yourself and ask for forgivness, the past is a brick walkway already made so move forward remembering that ur past has made u who u are and only u have the power of making the best out of the worst sittuations of the past for that is all u can do, and the hope that 2morrow will be a better day, with a lesson well learnt, the future is urs, now u pave ur way…”

    #22078
    AvatarNicolette

    Hey Girl

    I know it hurts right now, that what happened is tearing into you deeply and you don’t know what to do with all the pain, but there’s hope. The really is. I know sometimes it can look like there can’t be hope because your baby is gone and can’t be brought back o you- but there’s hope because one day you can go to that baby and see your baby in heaven. I don’t know if you believe in God, I do and that’s what gives me hope every single day to live, you may think that maybe he’s not for you because of what you did- but he is as much for you as he is for anyone else. you need to turn to him, he’s no going to to turn you away- he doesn’t hate you, he thinks you’re worth it and the truth is you will struggle to forgive yourself unless you can first realize that he has forgiven you, that if you ask him, he’s not going to turn you away, he’s going to give you full and total forgiveness and I don’t know what is, but when God forgives you, it gives you hope to forgive yourself, because people often feel like God is the highest judge and when he has mercy on you- then you will be to start the process of forgiving yourself. You do deserve better and you can turn your life around- but to do that you need someone to help you shoulder the pain and sometimes it seems like no one can do that, that’s why you argue with your boyfriend because you expect the other to help shoulder the pain, but it’s not easy… I think it’s because your pain is often special just for you- sometimes even if you meet someone who’s had the same experience as you have had, you can sometimes still feel like they don’t understand because they can’t see into you. That’s why God’s so different, because unlike everyone else he can see into your heart- only he can see straight into it and only he is big enough to help you carry the pain that you’re shouldering… his love is complete, he’ll understand the things that your boyfriend doesn’t understand, he won’t get frustrated with your pain, he’s so patient and you know it’s even written in the bible that he is close to the broken hearted and that he has recorded your tears- you’re not insignificant to him, you’re not any less special now than you were before… when you hurt, it hurts him too. If you can accept his forgiveness and take the pain to him- just talk to him about it the way you’d talk to friend who’s there, it will take something off your shoulders and he can help you rebuild your life. The bible also says that he LONGS- he is desperate to show compassion to you… he has your baby in his arms and now he’s just waiting for you to join the promise- for you to receive his promise of beauty for ashes. There’s a part in the bible when he says “to those who mourn I will give beauty for ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of one of despair… I will rebuild the ruins and restore the places long devastated…” it also says “Come let us talk together, though the things you’ve done are as red as scarlet, I shall wash them as white as snow.” God loves you- it may sound clichĂ©, but let me put it this way- You’re God’s weakness, when he hears you cry, it strikes his heart- it hurts him too.

    You seem like you’ve tried everything else, what do you have to lose by trying God? I can promise you that you won’t regret it, because not only does he promise to forgive you and forget what you’ve done, he also promises to make a new plan for your life, he says “I know the plans that I have for you, plans to make you prosper and give you a future and a hope.” I know it may look impossible right now- but God can do the impossible. You have nothing to lose- except all the guilt and pain. We’re all here for you, we’ll help you through this.

    Love Nicki.

    #22093
    AvatarAnonymous

    Nicolette is right… You will always regret your abortion, but you don’t always have to be a slave to your regret and pain. Jesus can set you free.
    He is the only one that can heal you. Everything else you are trying to find comfort in are just going to destroy you.
    I am praying for you.

    #22095
    AvatarChild_of_God

    My heart is breaking for you right now. I know exactly how you are feeling. The good news is that you are recognizing it now and not having to suffer through years of guilt and destruction. There is hope and there is love to pull you out of it. Try to imagine your baby in the arms of Christ being comforted. That is where your baby is, waiting for the day he/she can see you and tell you that it’s ok and you are loved. Look for your closests pregnancy resource center and find a post abortion counselling, it really helps you deal with those feelings. I had to go through it before I could become a peer counselor and I didn’t realize how deep my guilt and shame ran and how deeply rooted my issues were in this. It was freeing and to know that JESUS forgives me and loves me helped me get through it, I was able to release my baby and find comfort in the fact that I had given my child to Christ to care for. It will never bring your baby back to you hear on earth but it will make it easier. PLEASE don’t wait too long, life spins out of control too quickly for you to wait. and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not hesitate to contact me if you need to talk. That is why I joined up here, if I can be of help to just one person and make just a bit of difference it makes it all worth it. God bless you and comfort you.

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