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October 21, 2005 at 1:35 pm #9636Anonymous
I know this may sound really stupid of me but im wanting to have a child at the age of 16. I think teenage pregnancy is beautiful and I would like to be apart of it. I also have planned for the future like education and important things like that, There is a high school here called barbara roberts that has a program for teenage parents. I can graduate from there. And I will be 16 so I can start working now and I can get a job after I have the baby. And child care is no problem. My mother watches 2 young girls at our house, and the rest of the time shes a homemaker and she loves babys so I know she will help out alot. This is the age she had my brother so she has no place to say that im too young. Ok well is this wrong of me? Maybe I will change my opinions and maybe I wont, I just want to hear some of yours.October 23, 2005 at 3:48 am #9661Kit
I applaud teenage mothers who have the courage to bring thier children into this world and give them love and life. Motherhood and pregnancy are indeed beautiful things. It sounds like you have thought this through quite a bit.
However, I would still wait to try to get pregnant until you are a little bit older. Ideally it would be best if you were married or in a stable committed relationship where you know the father will be there as a loving part of your life and the child’s life. Also you will miss out on many life experiences and have to grow up much faster than you ideally should. Having a baby is expensive. Go to a store and price out all the items that would be needed for a baby and it will add up quickly. Babies are time consuming and have demanding needs. Perhaps you should help your mom with some child care and see if that fills up your emotional desire for caring for small children. Having day care and support at your school would be helpful, but studying for tests after being up all might with the baby will make things harder.
It isn’t wrong or selfish to feel the way you do. Many girls feel like they would like to be mothers, even at a young age. However you need to look at your reasons, are they mostly to fulfill your own emotional desires? Would trying to get pregnant now really be best for your baby? It sounds like you will one day be a wonderful mom, but I would wait for a few years down the road. I’m certainly not trying to tell pregnant teenage girls not to choose life for their babies, but I would discourage teenage girls from deliberately rushing into pregnancy and motherhood.
Maybe you should talk to your mom. Ask her how she felt about being a teenage mother. Ask her if she would have planned on getting pregnant with your brother at the age she did, or if ideally she thinks it would have been better if he had come along a few years down the road. Perhaps she can give you a better perspective and advice. Best wishes.
KateOctober 23, 2005 at 8:21 am #9663Anonymous
I personally think you should wait. Yes…having a baby is a beautiful thing but it is not all fun and games. I had my daughter at 27 years old (unplanned) and her father left when she was 2 months old. She had several medical problems when she was born and I was unable to work for 10 months. It was a constant struggle financially and emotionally. I was not for prepared for this at age 27. I think you should set back and take a look at why you want this so bad. I think it is great that so many of the girls here are making the right decision and keeping their babies. I would guess if you ask some of them, they would tell you if they had it to do over again they would wait awhile. Good luck with your decision.
DeniseNovember 13, 2005 at 12:56 am #9817Anonymous
Well first off I wouldnt be missing out on much because I only have 2 best friends and they stand by me no matter what. And second of all my moyher will take care of it. But to let you know I have thought more about it and im going to wait until im older.
Post edited by: Julie, at: 2005/11/15 01:57December 19, 2005 at 5:09 pm #10034Anonymous
OK…let me say this. You seem like a very intelligent young woman. But however even though it seems as if you have everything worked out you, but you really dont. Yeah its really fun on the outside looking in but being a mom is truly hard work. I am a 24 year old married mother of twins. It is not guaranteed that you will only have one baby at a time so that is one thing you need to worry about. At 16 years old what job can you get. Is it enough to pay rent, daycare, car expenses, medical bills, food, diapers, baby food, and the list just goes on. Yeah you say that your mom will help but for how long. I think that you are just excited about a baby. Try babysitting. But this is not the thing to do because it is extremely hard. ANy questions please feel free to email meMarch 11, 2006 at 8:29 am #10561Jonluver
Having a baby is huge responsiblity! Yes it is very rewarding bu your gonna miss out on so much. I’m 19 and my daughter is 7 weeks old. I never thought about how much my life would change after i had her. I just thought, "oh i’m having a baby! How wonderful." Now i’m not saying i don’t love my daughter, trust me i love her more than anything else! With that said, I just feel like i’m missing out on so much. I watch my friends go out and party and i can’t do that. They all live at home and have nice cars and clothes. I have rent, bills, diapers, gas, food, car payments, medical bills, etc to pay for. After paying all this i don’t have money leftover to buy a new pair of jeans or go see a movie.
And you should see my body. Not cute. I have horrible strech marks all over my stomach, hips, thighs, lower back and boobs!
i can’t just get up a leave my house whenever i want to anymore. It takes me about an hour to get everything all packed and get her in the car.
After you have a baby you look at life in a whole new way. You only get one! You might be happy now but years from now, maybe your kid is a teenager and you see him/her going out with their friends and going on trips you’re gonna realise you never got to do any of that stuff. You can’t go back in time and do it again. Once these years are gone, they’re gone. You’ll never get them back.May 15, 2006 at 7:40 am #11058Anonymous
While I applaud you for planning ahead and thinking about everything I still can not tell you that this is a good idea. I know you said you changed your mind and for that I am grateful. Have you thought about what you would do if your baby was disabled physically or mentally? Have you thought about whether your mother would really be willing to raise your child? What kind of job can you get at 16? When I was 16 I was working in a fast food restaurant. I made less than $6.00 an hour. I’m now 21 with a 15 month old and I work in the Nondestructive Testing field. I have benefits and a good pay. My boyfriend has a union job and makes excellent money. Yet, I never seem to have enough to make ends meet. I just paid off my credit card after nearly two years. Diapers are somewhere between $10-15 per pack and I need 2-3 packs per week. Formula is $20+ per can and I go through a can every 2-3 days. Now that my daughter is on milk I go through a 3 gallons a week at $2 per gallon. Once your child starts eating real food your looking at 4-5 jars of baby food a day at $0.50 a jar plus juice and snacks. Baby’s constantly ruin or outgrow their clothes. At $8 per outfit and 2-3 outfits needed per day that can add up quick. My daughter ruins at least one outfit per week. Medical bills add up quickly. A single doctor visit can cost over $100 if you don’t have great insurance. A carseat can cost $50 or more. A crib is usually at least $100 and you can’t get used carseats and cribs because it is too dangerous. Baby blankets cost $5-10 each and crib sheets are about the same. A crib mattress is around $20. A swing and bouncer seat are about $20 each. An exersaucer or jumparoo can cost upwards of $50. A baby tub is around $10. Then you have to buy baby wash and baby oil and powder and diaper rash cream. You need baby towels and baby washcloths. Baby’s clothes require a special non-allergenic detergent which costs $15 for a small bottle. Bottles and pacifiers will need replaced often. Nipples will be chewed and ruined. Sippy cups can cost anywhere from $1-5 each. You need baby nail clippers and scratch mits and booties and hats. Baby monitors are a minimum of $20 per set. A playpen can cost $50+. Add in a changing table and a dresser or chest of drawers to store baby’s items in and your looking at well over $1000 in things before baby is even born. Maternity costs without insurance can exceed $10,000. And this is all if you are blessed with a healthy and uneventful pregnancy, delivery, and baby. Please everyone think very hard about what you are willing to give up before you decide to get pregnant. Time and money are two things you will never have enough of again.August 10, 2006 at 3:57 am #11521haley
hey i think teenage mothers are the most strong people out there…. its your decision hun…. if you think you can handle it and you have things planned out then good for you but realize it can be hard
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