OH….Kinda a messy situation

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  • #11118

    Anonymous

    So i have kinda gotten myself into a little bit of a jam.. i had been dating this guy for a year and a half and it was going great… the doctor had told me last year that since i was in a car accident when i was 6 years old i obly had a 3.9% chance of ever having children, he gave me birth conrtol and sent me out the door…so i took the birth control for a while then noticed that it had long term affects so went to another doctor, she told me to stop taking it if in the long term i ever wanted to have kids- so i stoppped.

    Well in april i turned 19, the next day while i was at work my BF of a year and a half made out with a MUCH younger girl in the apartment we share… i was devastated and we ended our relationship the next day…….BUT we still lived together and all that fun stuff.. it seemed routine to still act as a couple and we did……and now i am a week late and two pink lines came up on a white stick(yikes!)…i know i am going to keep it…because another opportunity may never come up……..but i still haven’t told him.

    He always said i was the type of person to try to hold a realtionship together with emotions (a baby was the example when another of our friends got pregnant and held it against the dad so he would marry her).. but we have alot of friends with kids that are just trying to make it work for them… i don’t want to tell him until i know if we will be together forever or not…….we always talk about starting a relationship again and stuff and we always refer to the futur in long term being together but i am worried that these feelings he is feeling now will change if he thinks he trapped by a baby.

    i just want us to be together and have this baby but now not telling him is killling me and i know if i tell him before we fix our problems there is no hope for our relationship…………please help!

    I don’t know who to turn to- my best friend moved from canada to england for a year and isn’t coming back till next month- but before she left she had an abortion, so i don’t know how mipartial her opinion will be

    and i can’t turn to my other friends because they have all been saying that i should have broke it off completely with him already and left.

    I have always been supported by my grandparents and i don’t know how to tell them that i am not going to go to the program for Social work next semester because i am going to be having a baby.

    And the rest of my friends that dont fit in those categories would tell The DAD right away because they are mutual friends.

    Please if you have any advice
    thanks
    Jessica

    #11121

    Anonymous

    jessica,
    Congrats on the new love of your life!
    I usually don’t respond to the things I read on here but I can relate alot to what you are going through.~
    Let me just tell you that babies do NOT bring couples closer together…babies sure are cute, but they cause alot of stress and inconvenience. And in an already weak relationship, this WILL cause more problems…You have YOU to think about. Instead of focusing on what your BF feels or thinks all the time~think about the new life that lies ahead of you. As women we want the perfect family and the caring, loving, responsible father for our children…it is natural to want these things, unfortuantely we don’t always get that! You have already decided to become a mommy. That is a very brave and unselfish move on your part and also tells me that you are a strong woman. You also weren’t supposed to be able to have babies, right? Yeah it sucks that you are only 19 ( I was 18 w/ my 1st baby~26 now) and you aren’t married…yada yada yada…but you were given a miracle…don’t let the selfish, cheating jerk ruin your pregnancy. Sorry to be so blunt, but why is it that you have a BABY growing inside your belly and you are so worried about what your BF might do or say? So what if he leaves? So what if it doesn’t work out? He’s the loser not you. You BOTH made the baby…and if he can’t be who u want him to be~just like God gave you this baby….believe me he will bring you a GOOD man too. You can raise your baby without being with the father. I did so w/3 kids…sure it’s harder without all the help, but men aren’t really that helpful anyway when it comes to taking care of the kids.All I’m saying is that you don’t need to worry about him…what is meant to be will be. ENJOY your pregnancy and your new baby NOW~ it will go by sooo fast and before you know it that baby will be 8 yrs old and telling you she hates your guts b/c you won’t let her friend spend the night!!! Good Luck and MANY blessings…you make that baby proud, I know you will….Nicole

    Post edited by: Julie, at: 2006/05/23 23:30

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