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June 7, 2007 at 1:22 am #17662shawgirl
My parents, friends, boyfriend and extended family were wonderful when they found out I was pregnant first time around. My parents were disappointed yes, but supportive. They helped me by giving me the same amount of money I had in my bank, and saying they would match what I saved as long as I spent the money on the baby. My friends were delightful, thrilled to find out they were becoming ‘aunties’ I was given a wonderful party, and they clubbed together and brought me a pram & car seat, along with toys, clothes etc. My boyfriend was over the moon and couldn’t believe we’d been blessed with a child so soon after the abortion I had just 11 months earlier (only my boyfriend knew) and took it as a sign that we were meant to have children, and on discovering she was a girl, my whole family, boyfriend and friends included, went bonkers with pink items, wallpaper, toys and everything else a girl could want! After saving all this money, when it came to it, there was very little, other than a cot & changing mat that was actually left for me to buy!
Anyway.. moving on to the problem.
I now, after taking a HPT know that I am expecting baby number 2 and will find out how far along I am at my dating scan on Tuesday, My boyfriend, once again, is thrilled that our daughter will have a sibling, and is hoping on a boy :P, however my mother’s response was less than desirable.
She is convinced that after ‘finally getting [your] life back on track’ I am throwing everything away again, and is convinced that baby number 2 will stretch our finances too far, that we will be cramped in our flat, unhappy, and that I will not finish school.
I do not know how to explain to her that this baby is a blessing, that I am thrilled to be expecting again and that I do not want to have another abortion.
How can she have been so supportive when I was pregnant at 16/17 and now so unsupportive now that I am 19, and so happy & ready for this baby?
Any advice on how I can convince her that I am not a ‘baby mill’ and that all I care about is ‘the attention I get from pregnancy and babies’?
The things she is saying are hurtful, and I don’t know how to deal with it, having not had to deal with such things first time round.
🙁June 8, 2007 at 9:09 am #17686goodluckyall
The best thing you can do is to live your life well in that you should be responsible and loving just as you always have been. Show her by example that you’re ready and willing to take care of this baby. It’s really yours and your boyfriend’s business, so you should work together on things and take what anyone else says with a grain of salt. I guarantee by the time this baby comes, your mom will be just as in love with him/her as she is with your daughter. Give her time to see you working towards making things happy, settled, and secure for this baby. It’ll work out.July 7, 2007 at 3:44 am #18085mommie_of_TWO
I totaly understand where you are coming from. My children are going to be only 14 months apart! During my first pregnancy, of course my mother and grandmother [[whom was my legal guardian]] were dissapointed at first, but then they both grew to expect the baby and once they found out lil thing was a girl, they went hay-wire! They "oohed"" and ""ahhed"" over alll the pink that was given to me and everything they bought me. My boyfriend and I bought the carseat and the crib, but my mother and grandmother INSISTED that they buy her front-facing car seat, highchair and play-pen. We loved the help, but we felt wrong for taking any.
Well, whenever my little girl was 5 1/2 months, I discovered that I was once again pregnant. Only this time, I was on birth control. When I told my mother, she claimed I didnt give a da** about HER reputation and MINE. It hurt, her thinking I was TRYING to get pregnant so soon. NOw don’t get me wrong, I love this child just as much as I do my first one, but I woulnd’t have planned this way. Now, I am 30 weeks along, and no one seems like they are excited but me and my fiancee. But then agian, thats all that matters.
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