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August 5, 2007 at 2:26 am #18552layilee
First, I want to say this is a great site. For a woman faced with a pregnancy and in need of someone to talk to I really recommend this site.
I’m 25 and already a sinlge parent. I have a 6 year old daughter name Alexis. Yesterday just found out through a pregnancy test that I’m pregnant, I already miss my period, so when I go to the doctors for the offical test I already know what to expect.
I told the father of the potential child the news, althoguh it was unplanned, I assumed with someone I been with off and on for three years that he would be willing to provide support, even if we are not together at the moment. Even though we had our issues trough the years we always been friends. To my surprise though after I tell him the news, he tells me that he is not ready to be a father,and that he rather not be a father at all then to act like knowing he cant provide his full support. He tells me that I should get an abortion. I decline thst option right away because I’m very pro-life. He then tells me that his only option of support and that he can not do anything else and will not be there for me if I decide to keep the baby. He says he wants no part of the baby what so ever and will not provide support before or after the birth.
I’m hurt, its hard to imagine someone can actually tell you those things to your face. it hurt knowing that I will have two different children fathers that are cold and heartless in my opinion ( my daughter father once told me that he know he is probably going to hell for not supporting me with his daughter, but he dont care).
But my concerns are deeper then my hurt, becasue I can get through the hurt. I just honestly dont know how I can pull this off. Having two children as a single parent. I already live with my mother as it is. Me and my daughter share a room. I definetly need to find my own apartment now.
I live in the city and never felt the need for a car because where i live public transprtation is so reliable and gas is so expensive anyway. But now I need a car, simply to take my daughter to school with a newborn, I cant imagine getting on the bus with two kids in the morning, main reason being I dont want to put a newborn to germs so early.
I have two part time jobs, but I cant afford the car insurance and paying rent by myself…..I really feel its unfair! Even my mom who is pro-life is now considering I should get an abortion. But I don’t want to. I don’t believe that is what God wants me to do. I think it will be a major sin I can not forgive myself for. I pray…I even thought of adoption, but thats last resort, I want to try to do this on my own and find away, but it seems so hard……..August 5, 2007 at 4:39 am #18561Meg11
Hey there and welcome to the site…My name is Meagan and I help out on the site and I came across you post…I just wanted to share with you that I am 25 and I have two kids by two dads, a 5 yr old and an almost 3 yr old, I was never married to either dad and I went through both pregnancies alone, I have received 2 child support checks in total in the last 5 years and they came last month for my son, The day my daughters dad left he took everything down to the toothpaste and shampoo and laundry soap, I had no groceries or milk and less than a quarter tank of gas and my bills were all due and he gave me 20 dollars, oh yeah and I didn’t have a job, when I got pregnant with my son the people I worked for fired me because they thought I was a sweet little Christian girl who was struggling as a single mom and when I got pregnant it stumbled them, immediately my life turned into a country song and I lost everything….my car engine blew up on the side of the road in a different state, stranded with no money, my daughters grandma picked me up and took me back home where I didn’t live within walking distance to anywhere, and I had no car and no family and no job….then when my son was like 7 months old I broke my foot, my right foot, I was unable to drive, I couldn’t work….the first two days of my broken foot I was home alone with him with only a splint, I was on heavy duty pain killers and I had to crutch to his crib stick his bottle in my pocket, crutch to the kitchen fill it up, crutch back to him, I had to lean over to change his diaper in his crib and I could not pick him up, I felt like the worst mom in the world….there are so many more stories of how my house payment was over due by a week and it would somehow get paid, other times I lost my jobs, times where I would run out of gas on the side of the road and be stuck there with two kids and no money….but….one thing I didn’t tell you is how I survived all these things…..what happened when he left me with nothing??? How did I end up with another car??? Where did I get other jobs at??? How did my bills get paid??? How did I make it with no family or child support???? Who would want to be with much less marry someone like me???? I am now married and I have been for 9 months, I was abstinent for 3 1/2 years until my wedding night,I have fought the good fight and I have survived, I have learned so much, my kids are happy, I would do it all a hundred times over if that is what it took to have my life the way it is now…. having two kids from two dads and a HUGE amount of trials and problems and an itty bitty amount of money and belongings doesn’t mean that you are destined for failure….it just means that you will have more stories to tell than the person who got an abortion and spent the rest of their life regretting it….it means that you will appreciate more in life than the person who buys what they want when they want, it means that you will be sensitive to those who are struggling rather than walk past with your nose in the air…..You are a Stand Up Girl….you can do this….many of us here on Standupgirl have done it….if I have made it through my many broken, dirt poor, tragic events then anyone can….you know you already love this baby, Stand Up for him/her….you can do this there is so much support out there, and never underestimate the Provision of God….He created the universe…he can make sure you are fed and clothed and have a roof over your head, you might not have much more than that at times but the times when you have extra you will enjoy it so much more than most people….there are two verses I would like to leave you with…."Seek first the kingdom of God and His Righteousness and all other things shall be added unto you" seek the Lord and while you are focused on Him you will start to see that He is providing your every need….."Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart form your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." Do you know that you are of more worth than many sparrows??? Do you know how many hairs are on your head??? God knows your worth, He Created you…just like He Created that little baby in your womb….He knows how many hairs are on your head…He pays that close of attention to you to know more about you than you do yourself….He will provide for you…I will be praying for you….let us all know what happens….I think I already know…Be a Stand Up Girl…you will never regret keeping your baby….no matter what you have to go through it will all be worth it to know that you made the right choice for that precious, God sent miracle in your tummy…Love Meg email@example.comAugust 6, 2007 at 2:14 pm #18579layilee
thank you so much for the message you sent me Meg. It really made me feel better, and it even makes me more stronger in my determination and desire to keep my potential baby, even when so many tell me I shouldn’t. Your message was inspiration, it put water in my eyes but most importantly it gave me that added hidden knowledge that whatever may happen, we are going to make it.
I have been trying to talk some sense into my potential child father, it now appears that he may be there for the child, but only time will truly tell.
Thanks again for listening to me.
I cant wait until the day come and all my children are older and I can feed to them the life lessions I have learnt throughout my years.August 14, 2007 at 7:11 pm #18661kez_mummy_2_skye
You are already a single mother so you have proved you don’t need help..Keep this child! Just because you don’t have someone supporting you thats his loss not urs. You CAN do it!
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