This topic contains 7 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by Anonymous .
- August 3, 2005 at 2:09 am #8952
hi. i just found out about an hour ago that i’m pregnant. i think i knew deep down that i was… i’ve been getting all the symptoms, like fuller breasts, constipation and feeling nauseous all day with headaches, but i tried to put it all down to possible symptoms of IBS. i put my missed period down to never being regular anyway. but today i got it over with and took a test.
my boyfriend and i have already talked about if i got pregnant and we both agreed that i would have a termination. he said that he would like to know about it though so he can come with me for support.
i guess my problem is that now i know for sure that i’m pregnant i don’t know how to tell my boyfriend.
i’ve been looking on the internet for info on abortion but it’s all so biased. all i’m getting is quotes from the bible and ages at which a fetus has a heartbeat, can move, feel pain and experience tastes. and after reading up on the different types of abortion i’m really confused. it all sounds so painful and cruel. but i don’t think i have any other option. i’m only 18, i live in student accommodation and i’m at college for another two years. i have no job and my boyfriend doesn’t really earn that much so we could no way afford it.
i would be really grateful if anyone who reads this leaves some advise, especially from other women who have had abortions.
joely xAugust 3, 2005 at 11:23 pm #8964
I am not going to tell you what you are supposed to do, but am going to tell you what I think. I was in the same situation that you are in and I had an abortion, actually 2 of them. I remember the first time very vividly, and that is what I want to recount. I went to the Dr’s and was out of there around 7p.m and then went home with the bf. I started getting cramps around 8.30 and soaked myself in hot water to ease the cramps. I satrted feeling so much pain as I started bleeding, and I will tell you that that was the longest night of my life. I was not able to sleep and the only time that I did manage to sleep was at 5am but I slept for an hour at most. I had on and off pains for the next 2 days, and that wasn’t the worst of it.
After that, i tried to convince myself that I had done the best thing, but you know what, the worst thing is that you realise that you made a grave mistake, and the pain that you cannot take away isn’t the physical pain, but the grief, the heartache and the guilt. I was not able to live with myself, and was continually scared that I would not be able to have another baby in my life, ever. You will never be able to live with the what if’s.
The long and short of it all is that, no matter how much the odds are stacked against you, abortion is never an option. I would rather you put the child up for adoption. Or maybe, you can just have your baby and then work on finishing your college at some stage in your life.
At the end of the day, what we can do is only offer pointers put the real decision lies with you. I would just want to say that choose life for your baby, I am pregnant at the moment, (thankfully), and am going to choose life for my baby, even though I am single with an unsupportive bf, and am going to be eaten alive by the family when they eventually find out. But then, at least you can hold your head up high and know that you did the right thing.
PharryAugust 4, 2005 at 12:56 pm #8971
I have never had an abortion, but felt compelled to write anyway. I am almost 4 months pregnant.
My pregnancy was wanted, but there was a time, a long time ago, that a pregnancy would not have been wanted. I was in college and has sex for the first time. Later, my period was late and I was scared to death that I was pregnant. I grew up as a pastor’s daughter, became a Christian and have never believed that abortion was right. But when I thought I was pregnant, doubts began to crowd into my mind. Thankfully, my period came a few days later and everything was okay.
You said you wanted advice and without trying to confuse you any further, I’d like to share a few thoughts with you. Even though the things you are reading may say that the thing inside you is just a fetus, it is still a human being. A creation between you and another human being. This little baby did not asked to be created, but b/c of an act between you and the father of this child, it has now a living creature. At this point and time, you may be thinking that to have this baby would ruin your life, but have you thought about the fact that if you terminate this pregnancy, you are ruining it’s life? What if this baby were to become the person who finds the cure to cancer or does something great like that? Just b/c you may carry this pregnancy to full term does not mean that you have to keep the baby. Your life could go on and so could his. There are so many couples longing for a child and you could provide them the greatest joy ever! There are resources out there to help you. Please give this little one a chance at life.
Joni~Lakeland, FLAugust 5, 2005 at 11:18 am #8977
Well I have a good idea that you might like. Go to an adoption agency and talk about getting an open adopition where the family that adopting would pay medical and all then when the babys born the baby will go live with them but you would still be able to get pictures and go see you child and hear about how they are growing and everything. Thats what my older sister did and she said she DOSENT REGRET IT. She said she would reccomond it to any one consittering abortion since you dont pay anything and you still get to see you child and all and they will know you are te birth mother. Hope that maybe this Helps.
Luv AmandaAugust 9, 2005 at 6:37 pm #9002
Hi ! I just wanted to tell YOU to think this through. over & over! I have never had an abortion, in fact I just had my first baby 3 mons ago. I just want to say there are other options out there, adoption there are so many people that want to have babies & can’t. The is open adoption,YOU can meet & pick the parents, most will pay YOUR medical/prenatal costs. & YOU never know,if YOU do decide to continue YOUR pregnancy, YOU might not think it now, but the first time YOU feel YOUR baby move inside YOU, it a feeling YOU will never forget.
It is amazing! To know that is the miracle YOU created. If you haven’t noticed this is all about YOU & YOUR baby, don’t let anyone influence YOUR decision. It is one that YOU will have to live with the rest of YOUR life. I’m not trying to be rude, just to let you know you have other options.August 11, 2005 at 2:54 am #9011
I just thought I would tell you that information on abortion is really really biased, and really it’s your decision to make. I’m only 16, and I’m due a little more than a month after my mom is due, and when I found out I was pregnant, I thought I was going to die. I considered bumming money from everyone I knew to have an abortion, and then I realized that this child has no choice in what I do. He or she can’t tell me "Mommy, I want to live" or "Mommy I don’t want to live". If you really think that your boyfriend would want you to get an abortion, give it until he can feel the baby move, and Im sure he will change his mind. There are a lot of support groups out there, and lots give financial aid. If you really dont want the baby, at least put it up for adoption, and in open adoption, you can even keep track of the baby, and see what it looks like and how its doing. Good luck sweetie.August 15, 2005 at 2:58 am #9045
hey i have never had an abortion and i dont plan on it. i think that instead of abortion you should give it up for open adoption. b/c the doctors say that these bbies inside of us are fetus but realize they do hear, feel, and their heart does beat. and if you have an abortion you will realize that it was a mistake i know women that have had an abortion and they all have said it was not only painfully physical bu mentally and if they could they would take it bck and allow their child to live even if it was adopted… just think about all of it befre you jump into a decision…August 16, 2005 at 2:02 am #9051
my name is jennifer im 16 years old and i am 4 1/2 months pregnat my boyfriend is 16 me and him have a really good relationship but i can tell he is like me and is very scared about the pregnacy and i reallydont know whta i can do to comfort hi i used to have a whole bunch of friends but then my friends turned against me when i found out i was pregnat it seemed like they didnt care cuz they wasnt getting nothin out of it i just need some advice
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