Need some advice about my bf

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  • #24251
    AvatarMweigel09

    [b][color=#800080] My situation is pretty challenging. I found out last week that im pregnant so that puts me at about 9 weeks. My first ob appointment is next friday.
    Ive had that “feeling” that i was pregnant for a while. Plus when the condom broke me and my boyfriend talked about options just in case. For like 5-6 weeks he said if i didnt have an abortion he would walk away from me. He says he has changed his mind since we found out i officially am pregnant and since we told our parents. But i dont think he really has, his actions are speaking really loudly.
    His mom said if he wanted to be involved and help raise the baby he would need to get a job. He like threw a fit. I ended up filling out all his applications and turning them in for him. He is always grumpy and saying mean things (ie: im too damn emotional, i eat too much, im fat, etc).
    Then at school yesterday (Im new to this school, ive only been there a week). I was hungry but in order to get a lunch you have to enter your id # and i dont know mine yet. I asked him if i gave him money if he would get me lunch but he said no.

    Like im tired enough from just being pregnant i dont have time for his stupidness.

    Plus he said when i have the baby he doesnt want to be in the room and he’ll come over when he feels like it (we live in seperate houses).

    I know ill be taking care of the baby alone so i just dont want him involved if he is going to be like that.

    The only problem is his family is happy about this.

    What do i do? Im so confused.[/color][/b]

    #24258
    AvatarAnonymous

    Aw, hun, I’m so sorry that you’re having so much trouble with your relationship with your bf!
    Keeping the baby is the right decision whether your bf stays with you or not.
    I don’t have any advice, but I really hope that everything works out well! Hugs!

    #24259
    AvatarEvangeline

    Firstly, congrats on the baby! 🙂 and with regard to your bf, it sounds like he has alot of growing up to do before this little miracle arrives. I’m not sure how old you guys are, but you’re being so brave and facing up to your responsibilities, he should be able (and willing) to do the same.
    The name calling also has to stop, immediately. He’s verbally and emotionally abusing you and it’s definately not ok. You don’t need that in your life and neither does your baby.
    In the end, the decision to have him in your and your baby’s life is up to you. You shouldn’t have to consider doing this without him, but it seems he’s left you no other choice. He’s being selfish, immature and disrespectful toward you and things like that don’t vanish over night. Follow your maternal instincts and do whats right for you and your little one.
    I hope I’ve managed to help a little 🙂 may you have a wonderful pregnancy.

    Blessed Be,
    Evangeline xoxox

    #24260
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    Congratulations on being a young mother who is saying “Yes, to life” and accepting the responsibility for you and your bf’s actions.

    You’re act of Love for your baby will pave the way for many more girls to follow your lead. You’re maturity is heartwarming.

    Surround yourself with positive people who love you and support you. By that I mean, don’t be brought down daily by your boyfriend’s inability to handle the stress. He is reacting to everything that’s going on in his head. He may not do well for awhile if his emotions are all over the place. Just try and be patient with him, but you should NOT allow him to abuse you verbally. This brings me to my next suggestion.

    You should stay in touch with his parents as frequently as you can to encourage that relationship for your baby and his/her new grandparents. What about your parents? If they are just as supportive, then include them in how you’re feeling, your appointment that’s coming up, and discuss your relationship with your bf to them. They may offer some advice to you in that area and be there to protect you if he gets out of line. Friends at school or cousins and soon to be aunts are a wonderful team of supportive women and can offer some more local consistent support.

    THIS IS FOR YOU & BABY:

    Practice tuning out the negative influences in your life…….but you will have to replace the void with positive things. REST, REST, REST…..feed your body. It’s very important that you eat. If you can,just take your own lunch. (fruit, protein, grains) But don’t go without eating small meals all day long. And you have to drink as much water as you can tolerate. Take long walks in the fresh air (and bf’s only aloud to go if he’s quiet and holds your hand):) If you’ve been brought up with faith in God, you could turn to him in prayer, or visit a church and sit. Spend time researching what’s going on with your body and what you can expect in these first critical months of growth for your baby. This is a fragile time for your little one, so take care of mommy.

    I’ll be looking forward to hearing about the Dr. Apt on Friday. Good luck!!

    Blessing,
    myangelsinheaven

    #24281
    Avataremeraldforestmyheartbro

    hey congrats! Im glad that you chose life fr your baby =D

    if your bf keeps being offensive and abusive i would say dump him. tell him how his behavious is affecting you and say that if he is not willing to grow up and respect you then the two of you are over. Also, maybe talk to a female in your life who u trust like a church member, your mother, a grandmother etc and find positive support for your situation.

    best wishes
    xox Enya

    #24374
    AvatarAnonymous

    Hey sweety,
    First of all, congrats on the pregnancy! And good decision about keeping the baby no matter what that guy told you 😉
    I remember my ex (my baby’s dad) getting very upset when his mom told him to grow the heck up, take responsability, get a job and help out with the baby. Well he got a job (at Arby`s!!!) and never sent any money at all. But I broke it off when I was in the 5th month pregnant… well it’s a long story!:P
    How old is your boyfriend if you don’t mind me asking? I think it sounds very immature from him, I don’t think he has really let it sink in yet. They say a guy becomes a daddy when he holds his baby for the first time. Maybe that’s the case here. If you can put up with him until he sees his baby, he might change his whole perspective and grow up. He might realize what he has is a true blessing! If not then do whatever you feel is right, since you have alot of suppourt from your family, that is all you will need.
    Being a single mom is not too tough. I hope everything works out for you! Being pregnant is stessful and annoying enough, you don’t need more on top of that 😉

    Sarah

    #24381
    AvatarAnonymous

    First of all, congratulations and good choice on keeping your child. I promise you won’t regret it. Your boyfriend is being immature, at least your taking responsibility. It may be hard but you let him know that he has to step up too. You can not pick up his slack. You have support from your family though and at least you have that. With good support this should be a breeze. Like someone else said, maybe he has to see his baby and he will step up and be a daddy. Its a part of him too. Keep us updated. Maybe even take him to the ultrasound. At least his family is supportive too. Don’t listen to any of his mean words either, its all a beautifl part of pregnancy and baby making.
    I wish you all the luck !!

    #24469
    AvatarMweigel09

    Thank you all for you advice and nice comments. My appointment passed and it went well i guess. I decided to let my bf come and he was horrible the entire time.

    I finally lost it a couple days ago and just went off on him. I didnt mean to be so mean but it just kinda came out.

    He hasnt said much to me. I have another ultrasound on friday and i told him i didnt want him coming.

    #24477
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    No grouchy boyfriends aloud in the baby viewing area!! It’s for happy people….because it’s a joyous time and a wonderful experience. Take someone else who will support your experiences in a positive way. You have to do this for yourself, so that you can be stress free(as much as possible) and for the health of the baby. Our physical and mental health is so important to our unborn baby’s developement. There should be a screening process for anyone wanting access to the pregnant mommy!!

    A questionaire that asks questions like:

    1. How is your day going? Feeling a little mad about anything?:angry:

    2. Feeling like blaming anyone for anything you may be going through?

    3. Have you stayed up late at nights mad and frustrated about anything you’ve caused to happen?:woohoo:

    4. Do ya feel like your going to take your immaturity out on the mommy who you are requesting visitation with? :S

    If there’s a YES, to any of the above, please return home to your time out spot until you can grow up, take responsibility and promise to act like a mature adult. :dry:

    I’m trying to make light of a not so easy situation that you’re going through, but someone has to inform the boyfriend, that life is going on around him, he can either mature quickly and join in the experiences, or he will be missing out on his child’s life. Things will not stop just because he’s unable to handle the situation, by fighting you and your decision to give this baby life, he is only making things worse for himself as well.

    You’re doing great!!! Keep up the fight for your baby. You’ve made a wonderfully selfless act of love for your child and you will be rewarded for the rest of your life.

    May God be with you,
    myangelsinheaven

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