need serious advice!

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by Meg11 Meagan Weber .

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  • #14535
    bttrfly_187
    sania parkin

    hi my name is sania and im nineteen with two kids. im going through a really bad divorce and i just found out that my boyfriend got me pregnant. we were already on the verge of breaking up. and we fight every day. he is a real jerk and mentally abusive to me. i dont want this baby and i just want it all to go away. i have no one to talk to and i dont know what to do. this pregnancy was a total accident and i dont know how much crap i can take from him. please somebody out there help!

    #14538
    lisa
    Lisa Musil

    Oh my goodness Sania – I’m so sorry you are going through such a difficult time right now. My name is Lisa and I am from the Stand Up Girl website.

    I wanted to post a message of encouragement to you.

    Please Sania – abortion will NOT make everything all better. You say that you just want an abortion and make it "all go away". Trust me, abortion will only make matters worse. It will NOT EVER go away with abortion. Only the guilt and the pain just begins after abortion.

    Please – take a look at this site and see if you can locate a nearby center in your area. It is free and confidential and they would surround you with support and love and they would be very happy to help you.

    Please don’t let a bad relationship further ruin that beautiful little baby that is inside of you. Your baby counts on you for his or her very next movement and breath. Here is the website:

    http://www.OptionLine.org

    Please let me know how you are. OK?

    Luv Lisa

    #14541
    bttrfly_187
    sania parkin

    i know its probably bad to say, but i dont know what to do. im already having a hard time taking care of one, and the other the father has custody of and wont give her back without a custody battle.i dont have a job and i cant get one because i cant afford or get my youngest into childcare. im living at my moms and im trying to get my own place and shes giving me no support. she only wants to know when im getting out of her house. its so hard to deal with my boyfriend and i just dont know how im going to take care of another one by myself. im just so confused and alone

    #14542
    lisa
    Lisa Musil

    I totally know that ‘alone’ feeling. But hey girl – you are sooooooo surrounded right here. I know it’s not the same as having friends sitting with you in your living room … but please, let’s just get you through this difficult time at first. OK?

    Please don’t choose a drastic measure that you will only regret for the rest of your life. You CAN do this! You totally can! OK?

    Let’s just start with this. OK … sit back and get comfy on your chair. Now … are you comfy? OK … take a deeeep breath. Hold it for a second … now let it out slowly. Now … on your next breath let’s say this together "I am going to take a Stand for my baby … I’m going to be a Stand Up Girl!"

    You see … it’s only ONE step at a time. You don’t need to have a 5 bedroom house and college tuition right now. All you need is to worry about right now. OK – right now at this very moment — without thinking about way down the road, how do you feel? Knowing that you have a precious little life inside of you. Listen to the quite of the air in your room right now and remember. Remember when you first held your first little baby. What was that like? What was it like when your first baby and your second baby moved in your womb? What was that experience like? Was it exciting? What was it like to feed your baby for the very first time. Do you remember looking down at your babys eyelashes. How your baby breathed when he or she ate? What was that like?

    Ohhh -I’m trying to bring back that special memory to let you know … you get to have that again with this beautiful little life that is now inside of you. Please … realize that baby that is inside of you is just as important as the baby that is in the next room.

    I know you can do this and we can get you the tools to help you make it. Right now … all you need is time. Time to get settled and to not panic. Once you have made up your mind to let your baby live, then the next step will be a lot easier. Right now … I have a feeling that you know you don’t want to have an abortion … and like me, you are looking for anyone to give you a good excuse why not to.

    Let me give you a toll free number and let’s see what we can find for you in the area of help and support. OK?

    800-395-HELP (4357)

    Look at your little ones now and realize that the love you have for those babies, I think you already have for the one that is inside of you. Don’t you agree?

    Please let me know how you are. OK?

    I’m keeping my eyes peeled for ya!

    Take care.

    Luv Lisa xxx

    #14543
    bttrfly_187
    sania parkin

    i just called your helpline and they referred me to the pregnancy center, i called them and they talked to me for a minute and told me to come down tomorrow and talk to them. thank you so much for your help. i think i am going to keep it. im so glad that there are websites like this for people like me. i am so thankful for the support

    #14544
    lisa
    Lisa Musil

    I can barely contain myself in my chair right now. I’m jumping up and down with excitement. I’m crying big tears of joy right now. haha – the people in my office are going to think I’m crazy!

    OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am so so overjoyed! You have given me reason to be sooooo happy!

    Good girl! I am so so so so proud of you!

    If you want to – you can keep in contact with me directly at the website too if you want to.

    This has been such a wonderful correspondence back and forth. Just remember, I’m always here to talk to you. If you want … you can e-mail me directly at the Stand Up Girl website at:

    Lisa@StandUpGirl.com

    Then I will get your e-mail right away! Ohhh – I am so happy – you will not regret this. I have a feeling you are already happy about this huh!

    😆

    Luv Lisa

    #14722
    alittle_mirical_inside_me
    Anne True

    Hey dont cry. I know that is an awefully unsensitive thing to say right now. It will be ok. A baby is never a mistake. God has a plan for you and your baby. Trust him. Dont blame him/her for what is going on in your life. You need to sort out your problems before you give birth. By the way, NEVER get an abortion. It is aweful and terrible and its just killing an innocent baby. Just remember, you are the one who got preg. No im not going to say its your fault. However you are the one who decided to have a boyfriend and a husband. Im sorry if you think this didnt help you, but you know what. it is helping you no matter if you realize it or not.
    love ya!
    -anne true

    #14735
    bonny
    paris daly

    hey hun !! oh my god!! thats really
    touching!! i jus wana help!! wish could make
    it go away for you! iv been through a very long and hard
    relationship!! so i do kind of understand wat your going through!!
    having this baby is totaly UR decision!! id advise you
    to maybe look through the forums and try tlk to
    some1 who has been in a similar situation or had an
    obortion. this might help u!!
    im so sorry your going through this!! i wish
    u the best of luck! your in my thoughts!! xxxx

    #15186
    bttrfly_187
    sania parkin

    my boyfriend has gotten worse, i keep trying to tell him its not working out and he should leave, but he doesnt listen. its even gotten to the point where i try to leave the house and tell him to leave before i come back. he tries to take my keys and follows me out to the car screaming about how im a horrible person and how its all my fault and keeps screaming while im backing out the drive way and while im going down the road. when i come back, hes still here and want to say sorry and i love you and all the other b/s. ive made it clear many times i dont want this relationship and he just wont leave. i dont want to get the cops involved because i dont think its that bad, and i dont need a restraining order because i am pregnant with his kid, i just want him to grow up and be civil about it, what do i do? how do i explain to him that i want it over and its not going to work, without him freaking on me and screaming and yelling in front of my daughter?

    #15315
    kieranpreggo
    kieran carney

    ALright i have the answer…ready? There is this place called the Maternity House and as long as you have a confirmed pregnancy, or even if you just go there by yourself, they’ll test and confirm for you, you live there rent free. Free food, free shelter, for as long as your baby turns ONE YEAR!!! There are other woman that are pregnant that live there, and they are your age, and younger, sometimes older. It’s a nice place to live, they have T.V, meetings and activities. and again, you don’t need insurance it’s COMPLETELY FREE. Im not sure where you live, but go to google.com and type in "free maternity home" and your state. look up one in your area. That will give you enough time to get a job while pregnant, save money and by the time ur kid is born, you will def have enough to get your own apartment. Plus they pay or can get discounts for childcare while you work. If you need any more advice, email me [via my profile] and if you live in northern nj i’d be happy to help you in anyway (i’m 19 and preggo myself, tryin to get out of here)

    #15592
    Meg11
    Meagan Weber

    You made a comment that you cant get a restraining order because youre preg with his child!!! that is not true if you think that having a restaining order will protect you and your other children and help with the stress issue than you should get one. I got one on my daughters father when I was preg with her. He never actually hit me he just threatened me and told me that he hoped the baby would die. Dont let him mess with your head. you are already a mommy and you not only need to protect your self and your unborn baby but also the rest of your family. I sure hope that you find an amazing resourse out there to help you get on your feet and stand strong. I hope and pray that if you know the Lord that you will let Him guide your steps and if you dont know Him that you would seek to know Him. All you have to do is call upon the name of Jesus and He will hear your cry and He will atted to your needs. God Bless you…let us all know how this turns out 🙂 love Meg

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