Need POSITIVE abortion advice!

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  • #26568
    prochoice
    Christina

    I’m 20 years old and pregnant, 6-8 weeks now I’ve been told.

    I’ve made the appointment for having an abortion, and the soonest they could get me is March 22nd, 4 weeks from now.

    I’m looking for advice from those who have had abortions at 12-14 weeks pregnant, and if there are more complications than normal, or complications later in life.

    I’ve googled photos of the ultrasound. How did you get over seeing the shadow of your baby and continuing on with your decision? Just like talking about getting pregnant and getting an abortion, when it actually happens it is a scary thing. Waiting for 4 weeks honestly scares me. I am also scared of the pain and discomfort. Is it easily treated with medication, or is it always constant?

    I am a full-time hairstylist so I can’t hide behind a desk. I’m constantly on my feet, and surrounded by clients and co-workers. By the time March 22nd comes around I’m sure I will be showing a lot more, but I can’t let anyone know because abortion is a very tricky topic, and I’d rather not offend everyone around me.

    I’d like to hear positive stories from others who have had abortions with no regret, and about the healing process afterwards. Possibly how you hid your belly (if you showed) and how you dealt with everything.

    Thank you for listening!

    #26580
    Meg11
    Meagan Weber

    Hey there, First of all I want to say thank you for coming to our forums with your need, it shows that you are not just blindly walking into this, you are really putting some thought into it….I want to address a couple things with you though, for one, I do not believe that you will get any responses about positive abortion experiences, especially with no regrets, I have met many girls who have aborted and believed that it was the right thing for them but they carry a lot of pain and regret and therefore makes it seem as though just maybe it was not the right thing….anyways along with that you also mentioned googling ultrasound images, did you also google abortion images? The visual difference between an ultrasound and a face to face image of the baby is HUGE, things are a little fuzzy in an ultrasound but face to face images show you the intricate details, who’s nose the baby has, eye lids, ears, fingers and toes, even the internal organs through their thin almost translucent skin…Do you know why they want you to wait 4 weeks? Do you think maybe it is fate just giving you more time to make the right choice for this little life inside of you!! Do not ignore that fear that is making you look for others who have been there…there is a reason why you want to hear from them, you want to confirm that what you are doing is right and ok but I can tell you honestly that it is not…if you also thought so then you wouldn’t have a problem letting those you work with know about it, there is an element of shame coming through, don’t ignore that…you do not have to go through with this abortion…you can make it, you can be a hair dresser and have a baby, you’ll do just fine!! Please do me a favor, send me an email or even post on here if you want to the 5 main reasons why you want to have an abortion and then also the 5 main reasons you are afraid to do so….I want to be here to help you do your research, researching a decision like this shows that you are so smart, find the facts, look up the procedures and if you can look at the images of those babies who’s moms did not give them the chance and still go through with it then at least if nothing else you know what you are getting yourself into physically but I assure you not even me because I have not had an abortion can prepare you emotionally, no one can unless they have done it, here is my email, meg@standupgirl.com ,please write to me, I would love to help you do some soul searching and answer any questions that were not addressed on here…but please, do not ignore that unsettled feeling eating away at you….Love Meg

    #26592
    Criidle
    Crystal

    hey, to this there isnt alot of positive things to abortions, myself knowing from experience,but i am alot younger then you just at 16 today is the 4weeks mark since i had my abortion i no over in the states its alot different to how it happens in australia, look no one but yourself can make the decision and its hard, i myself did it and everyday i live with that fact that i did do it and ill never hold my baby i was 10 and half weeks pregenet i had a week and a half before i couldnt legally do it over here, i now see a counciller and i am pretty depressed but i no soon i will see a better day and soon i wont have to pretend to be happy, you cant prepare yourself for the emotions you go through and the emptyness you feel, im also glad you have given yourself time to think i knew for 5 days before i went and did it and thats something i really regret if i had of waited for the next time slot the week after i no for a fact i wouldnt have gone and i would now be 17weeks pregnet and scared as hell, look this is me, there isnt much keeping me on this world anymore but my family and the boy that has been there from the moment i found out and hasnt left my side, my main reason for doing it was because im only 16 im in my final year of school and i dont think myself being a child could of brought my own child in the world and given it all i really could or all it needed. please give yourself time to think about this, find me on my page and get back to me x love criidle

    #26601
    christyrose
    Christina Biasca

    Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I know you are so young and only 16, and I would advise you to not be sexually active until you are ready for the responsibility of a baby. I think if you feel like you are too young for a baby, than you are also too young to be able to make the right choices about sex. I have learned that love is patient and if a man really cares he will want to wait for you. Since there is no 100% way to not get pregnant with sex, and many many girls get pregnant even on birth control, its just better to wait until you are ready to better handle the responsibilities that come with being sexually active. This is the best advice that I can give to you. I am proud of you that you told everyone your story, its hard to do expecially when you face up to the fact that you didnt make the wrong choice. Look to God, He is the only one that can take the pain away, and use it for good!! Just think of all the girls you will get to share with and encourage to not go down the same road because you know what the other side looks like now.

    #26603
    Criidle
    Crystal

    and ur absolotuly correct i did tell him im not going to have sex til i am ready to bring a child into this world and he fully suports it he is so scared to think i may have to go through something like that again and i take full responsibility like yeh i blame the other guy but for reasons i have myself the sex wasnt escactly willing but he was my boyfriend at the time.

    #26605
    GangY
    Mon

    im so sorry that you are in this situation, i really am.
    sometimes i think that the abortion was the right decision for me, back then when i was 16. but then again…i doubt in it.
    do you know that there is a possibility that you will never get pregnant again? or carry a baby full term? i dont want to be hars,sound hard or rude but…i had my bortion at 16…4,almost 4 years ago…and i have lost my twin girls in the end of my second trimester.
    they were perfectly healthy,my cervix wasnt….and a weak cervix is one of the many possibilities you get out of abortion.

    i have two little girls, who i carried and loved for more than 20 weeks, whos hand i have hold for 1 and for 10 days….i LOVE them, i got the possibility to know them, yet there are moments when i cry about my aborted baby.

    you have a job-you said so, why not look into the other option, keeping it? many times things seem unbearable for us, but somehow just ”fall in the right place” with time.

    #26614
    riotgrrrl582
    Kelsey

    I wish there was something positive I could say about abortion but I can’t think of one thing. I had my abortion 4 years ago and I still cry and think about it every day. It’s the most tremendous amount of pain and hurt I have ever had to endure and I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy.

    Maybe there is a reason they couldn’t get you in any sooner. I know it’s so easy to get rid of but you really have no idea how much guilt it leaves you with and for years nonetheless. Now I am married and plan to have children soon and if I am unable to conceive because of what I did in my past it will break my heart.

    I really don’t want to get to preachy here, some girls can handle abortions and are able to push their emotions down and ignore what they are doing…but I just urge you to rethink it. Good luck ^_^

    #26617
    cams2know
    camille laudato

    im sorry bit i think there’s nothing positive about abortion., im sorry i hope i could help you but., please open your mind and try to think of everything., do not have an abortion please., if there is a little thing that stops you from abortion please listen to it., 😉 gudluck., i don’t want you to regret anything.,

    #26623
    anakie
    khristine may

    hey!

    i just had abortion 3months ago..
    it hurts me and change my life
    not in good but worst…
    you know the feeling that you’re just
    waiting for your life to end..

    if i could go back in time i will keep my baby..

    i know your heart is good
    that’s why you are asking for are advice..
    and we are just telling you there is no
    POSITIVE advice about abortion..
    in a way it helps but in the end
    its just gonna kill you w/ regrets..

    here is the site about abortion

    Home


    some facts and truth about it.

    and here a video you might change your mind
    [video]
    #26625
    Meg11
    Meagan Weber

    I JUST WANT TO THROW OUT A WARNING TO THOSE WHO HAVE HAD AN ABORTION OR TO THOSE WHO ARE EXTREMELY SENSITIVE TO NOT CLICK ON THE VIDEO LINK, I FEEL IT IS IMPORTANT TO SEE IN YOUR SITUATION PROCHOICE BUT TO THOSE WHO MAY BE AFFECTED AS A RESULT OF A PAST ABORTION I DO WARN YOU THAT IT IS VERY GRAPHIC…..

    #26627
    prochoice
    Christina

    Ok. I guess POSITIVE wasn’t the word I was looking for in this case, obviously. I was hoping for more of a neutral opinion, not so biased.

    I’ve looked around, seen everything that would possibly change my mind, and I’m still getting an abortion. I appreciate all the concern and help offered.

    #26630
    Meg11
    Meagan Weber

    May I ask you a question? So you came seeking advice and in my opinion you have heard from some very neutral sources, I know many of the people who have responded and quite a bit of their background because of how long they have been on the site and what they have shared about themselves, their beliefs and life’s experiences, to not recognize the level of neutrality is to be blind…You have heard from I believe 4-5 girls who have had abortions, there is nothing more neutral than that….My question is this, how come, after the response and feedback you have received, you are still choosing to end the life of your child and put yourself at risk for the physical and emotional side effects of abortion? I mean why ask for opinions and advice just to hear what you want to hear? After everything that has been shared why would you walk into that clinic KNOWING what you are about to face, after all of the feedback, why? I mean it is a valid question, is there something about your pregnancy or your current situation or health that you have not shared that is playing a major role in this choice to abort? I am just a little confused….Love Meg

    #26632
    prochoice
    Christina

    None of the questions that I asked were answered. Instead I hear “don’t do it” or “I feel regret/shame/depression”.

    in a way it helps but in the end
    its just gonna kill you w/ regrets..

    do not have an abortion please

    Instead of the emotions (which are all obvious and legit), I wanted to know more about the physical aspects of the abortion,and the pain afterwards. “Is it easily treated with medication, or is it always constant?” was one of the questions I asked.

    One of the few things that were helpful:

    weak cervix is one of the many possibilities you get out of abortion.

    I choose to have an abortion because it’s the right thing for me to do at this point in my life. Nobody can contest me with that.

    #26633
    Criidle
    Crystal

    i agree completly i just think look your 20, you have a job you pretty much have everything i dont i didnt have the maturity or a stable job , look i dont think i could really pour my heart out to you anymore i really think you shouldnt do this iv been told my whole life how much of a strong person i am and people are amazed as depression runs in my family and the amount of bad things iv been put through is amazing im even still here today, just really take a step back and see there is nothing what so ever that is positive about this and all we can do now is when u come back to this site after you have aborted and your heartbroken and wishign you can have it ill say i told you so , because everyday i think about the sin i have done and i hate looking at babys i work in a supermarket and newborn little girls socks come through i cried my heart out so really just think about it before you do it. be glad u have time to think about it like me i didnt really have much time 4 days if i had of week the week after im 95% sure they would of turned me down.

    #26637
    pro life
    jessie

    and not only can it weaken ur cervix it hightends ur chance of geting cancer and if u want to actually see what an aboution looks like and how thay do it and all the information that u need go to this web site and watch the video

    #26638
    Char4Matt_Forever
    Charlotte Gooding

    abortion is never the right thing to do in ANY point of your life, i am completely against abortion. i am 19 and expecting my second baba and yes things are hard, but i would never think of killing my baby because he/she was an inconvenience to my life, at the end of the day it isn’t their fault they were conceieved, it’s yours for getting pregnant. don’t have unprotected sex unless you can handle the consequences. ABORTION IS NOT THE ANSWER. in my eyes it is murder, and trust me you will regret it for the rest of your life, there is absolutely no point in asking for POSITIVE abortion advice. abortion is in no way positive, it kills a baby, and yes even if you are only like 4 weeks along… it is still a baby, abortion is murder. simple as.

    #26642
    Evangeline
    Evangeline

    you cannot expect people to lie to you about what you’ll experience after an abortion, especially on a site that is prolife. There are so many emotions that are going to assualt you after the procedure… they may not start immedietly, but they will be there sooner or later. There’s nothing worse than waking up at two in the morning, hearing a baby crying and knowing that there’s no one in the house with you. You can call me crazy, but thats just one of the things that wont leave me after my termination.
    If you are really this hellbent on messing yourself up, I’d recomend having a therapist on speed dial and carrying some heavy anti deppressants in your purse.

    Please dont say that no one told you so.

    #26648

    Anonymous

    I had an abortion and it hurts really bad nothing the doctors said could of prepared me for what really happend.The pain is hardly bearable and the medication didnt do anything for me it was the worst pain i’ve ever felt. I was sick for days and bleeding alot. They failed to tell me my water would break and I would actually have the baby it came out in a sac that it was growing in and it was emotionally tramatizing.I wish I hadn’t done it I really suggest thinking it through with alot of thought cause I thought I was doing the right thing cause everyone was pushing me towards that but I wish I had never done it.If you have any questions let me know good luck!

    #26651
    hippielove
    Ramona

    i posted many times, is it because im speaking up for abortion my posts arent getting posted??
    really….?

    #26652
    amylc2009
    ~*Teen Mom*~

    Why not put your baby up for adoption? You would give a family who is unable to concieve a chance at having a beautiful life while you still have yours. One of the girls I went to school with has had 2 abortions because her mom made her, it messed her up reall ybad she had horrible pain that lastest for the longest time, her periods were very bad and she couldn’t even stand up for almost 5 months without her stomach hurting. She was ashamed to tell anyone what her mom had made her do so she would come up with any excuse to get by with what was going on with her. We were in power lifting together and I found her lying on the floor shaking and crying because she was in so much pain and heartache. She wakes up in the middle of the night hearing a baby crying and breaks down at any sight of baby things. She is 18 now and pregnant with her 3rd baby, she moved out of her moms because she wanted this baby like the last 2. In my opinion, yes I got pregnant at 17 and had everything going for me but I could NEVER have an abortion. How can you have an abortion and in a few years h[/color][/size][color=#FF0000″>[/size]

    #26653
    anakie
    khristine may

    if were not helping
    try to search a site that is PROCHOICE!
    We’re here to help not to let you
    feel the what we had felt after our choices.

    if your heart is a STONE!
    go for it.
    just dont tell us that “we’re all right”
    coz i was the one who post things like
    this and get a “NO”, “save your baby”,
    and “dont go to abort”
    but in the end i was stubborn
    and what i get?!

    PAIN FOR A LIFE TIME.
    i regret it!
    i wish i can go back time
    and listen to them..

    listen to Meg.!
    listen to the girls here..
    but no.. i was so weak..
    that its not my intention to go for it..
    but i did it..

    but if your really willing then..
    we have nothing to do w/ it..

    just we wish you wont live the life
    of regretting it!
    TILL THE END OF YOUR LIFE..

    GOODLUCK.

    I wish you all the best…

    #26661
    prochoice
    Christina

    I apologize, I had no idea this was a pro-life forum (Though I should have guessed after the first few posts).

    My bluntness is probably disturbing, so I will look elsewhere. Thank you to all who posted!

    #26694
    anakie
    khristine may

    im not saying this is a Pro-Life
    site..

    but maybe this is not the site
    that can help you for what you
    need..

    i understand you..
    we have different choices..

    right or wrong..
    but we wish we dont regret it in the end..

    #26703
    Meg11
    Meagan Weber

    I want to expand on what anakie said, “we wish we don’t regret it in the end”, anyone who has responded pro life or pro choice has one thing in mind, YOUR BEST INTEREST….those who have aborted are here to tell you first hand that they do regret it, don’t sit back trying to convince yourself that if you wish hard enough you may just be the lucky one who can handle it, don’t take the risk…also anakie mentioned that this may not a site to help with what you need….if what you need is a bunch of people to tell you what you want to hear then that is true…do you want people to say “oh honey go ahead with the abortion, it will be fast and painless and you will see your baby someday when it is the right time” and be lying and flowering things up to lessen the reality of the abortion or do you want people to share their hearts, their personal experiences and the regret they carry everyday in truth….there are so many of us here to love on you, to support you and help you through this pregnancy but if you came to find people to rally behind you having an abortion you came to the wrong place for the sole reason that we know what it does to a woman to have one and we do not want that for you, we care too much….Love Meg

    #26705
    iswaggaliciious
    Klaudia

    You want abortion advice? Take it from somebody that has experience in that field. Here is a couple of interviews of former abortionists that was posted on the Prolife.com site.

    [color=#0080FF]1) Former abortionist, Anthony Levatino, M.D., says, “I want the general public to know that the doctors know that this is a person, this is a baby. That this is not some kind of blob of tissue . . .”

    2) Former abortion counselor, Nita Whitten, says, “It’s a lie when they tell you they’re doing it to help women, because they’re not. They’re doing it for the money.”

    3) Former abortion counselor, Debra Henry, says, “We were told to find the woman’s weakness and work on it. The women were never given any alternatives. They were told how much trouble it was to have a baby.”

    4) Former abortionist, Joseph Randall, M.D., says, “The picture of the baby on the ultrasound bothered me more than anything else. The staff couldn’t take it. Women who were having abortions were never allowed to see the ultrasound.”

    5) Former abortionist, David Brewer, M.D., says, “My heart got callous against the fact that I was a murderer, but that baby lying in a cold bowl educated me to what abortion really was.”

    6) Former abortion counselor,Kathy Sparks, says, “The counselor at our clinic could cry with the girls at the drop of a pin. She would find out what was driving them to want to abort that child and she would magnify it.”

    7) Former abortionist, McArthur Hill, M.D., says, “I am a murderer. I have taken the lives of innocent babies and I have ripped them from their mother’s wombs with a powerful vacuum machine.”[/color]

    [color=#FF0000]Here’s how Carol Everett answered questions about the abortion industry:

    Q. What is the governing force behind the abortion industry?

    A. Money. It is a very lucrative business. It is the largest unregulated industry in our nation. Most of the clinics are run in chains because it is so profitable.

    Q. In what way is the woman deceived?

    A. Every woman has two questions, “Is it a baby?” and Does it hurt?” The abortionist must answer “NO.” He/she must lie to secure the consent of the woman and the collection of the clinic’s fee. The women were told that we were dealing with a “product of conception” or a “glob of tissue.” They were told that there would be only slight cramping, whereas, in reality, an abortion is excruciatingly painful.

    Q. What type of counseling was offered at the clinics?

    A. We didn’t do any real counseling. We sold abortion.

    Q. How did you dispose of an aborted baby?

    A. We put them down the garbage disposal. Some second and third trimester babies’ muscle structure is so strong that the baby will not come apart, so they must be disposed of through trash receptacles.

    Q. Abortion is supposed to be a “safe” experience. What complications did you witness?

    A. In the last 18 months I was in the business, we were completing over 500 abortions monthly and killing or maiming one woman out of 500. Common complications that take place are perforations or tears in the uterus. Many of those result in hysterectomies. The doctor might cut or harm the urinary tract, which then requires surgical repair. A complication that is rarely publicized is the one in which the doctor perforates the uterus and pulls the bowels through the vagina, resulting in colostomy. Some of those can be reversed, some must live with the colostomy for the remainder of their lives.

    Q. Why did you get out of the abortion business?

    A. Two things came into play at the same time. I experienced a profoundly religious transformation — a conversion. At about the time I was having second thoughts, a Dallas television station did an expose disclosing the abortions performed at my clinic on non-pregnant women — all for money! I finally realized, “We weren’t helping women — we were destroying them — and their children.” By then my transformation was complete and I knew that I not only had to stop being involved with abortions, but I had to help promote the truth.
    [/color]

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