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March 27, 2007 at 6:15 am #16263xmellypopx
Hey my names mell im 16 years old and im 21weeks pregnant with a baby boy, Jaden, ive been with the father of my baby for just over a year we dont live together infact we live about 2 towns away from eachother an im a bit worried now because of the conversation weve just had.
He said that he dosent see our situation working out and that the only time hell be able to see his son is at the weekends and that he dosent want to be a weekend dad.
Because i plan on living at my house a few months after jadens born because my bf will be going back to college shortly after and i think itll be better because ill have my mom there in the day to help me with our son
but that means i would only be able to see my bf for 3 days out of the week and hes worried that he wont be able to form a proper bond with our baby because of this.
I would take jaden up to his house to sleep over but hes already said before that we need to have one place where jaden wil live untill we get our own flat together because its not fair for him to be going from place to place which i agree with.
But now my bfs geting upset because he dont think itll work out i dont know what he means he says he loves me and i believe him and i love him too i know well be able to make it work what ever we have to do but he dosent think the same hes also worried about money and buying things for the baby but ive told him weve got most of the things we need but he dosent seem to understand that and still goes on about it.
Why dosent he think it can work? im getting worried because i dont want him to leave me and i dont want him to be a weekend dad either but there isnt anything much i can do i told him we could work something out but he jus keeps getting upset about it
what should i do ?? :(:( xxMarch 28, 2007 at 12:30 am #16293navywife
hes probably just going through the motions.. my husband for example was happy when we found out i ws pregnant with my son… but as i got further along he got scared and started saying similiar things… i hope everything works out well for you… good luck on the baby.March 28, 2007 at 6:06 am #16307goodluckyall
You should be up front and ask him what he means and if he can think of any solutions rather than make vague comments about it not working. For example, is there a college he could transfer to that’s closer? Could you work out a schedule for him to see you and/or the baby more frequently than just weekends? Being that you’re 16, I’m not sure what to tell you about living arrangements and money saving, etc. because of course it’s best for you to be in school and living with your parents. However, if you and he know you love each other and want to make it work, you could have long-term goals to look forward to and work on to help you get through the next couple of rough years while he’s in college. Work and save your money while you live with mom and hopefully get married or something after he graduates. Sorry I’m not more helpful, but I don’t know what else to suggest besides a health dose of prayer and faith that it will work out.March 28, 2007 at 8:20 am #16311Meg11
Well Mell getting pregnant before marriage has its reprocussions that follow!! I know because I had two kids from two dads before I got married and it was very difficult. I dont know your boyfriend so I cant read into his feelings. From the sounds of it he is either scared of failure or making excusses. Beings scared of failure is ok…none of us want to admitt that we have failed and many of us dont try rather than trying and failing…if this is the case then I believe that time will tell where his heart is at. If he is making excuses then I wouldnt give him the time of day!!! You need to pour into your baby and focus on being a mommy…it sounds like your mom is supportive and is willing to help you and teach you some parenting skills. No matter what I wouldnt move in with him unless you are married broken promises are easier to handle when you dont have to find a place to go. Stay with your mom or live on your own but dont live with him and dont combine your belongings untill you are married. I would encourage you to test him in a few ways to see where his heart is at. If he loves you and wants things to work out then he may show fear and he may hesitate in some ways but he will come around if he has a sincere heart to be a daddy and further more if he has a sincere heart to stand by you he will marry you. In the mean time dont have sex with him and dont stay the night with him. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and maybe he will see that he wants you and needs you and if he can make that decision while not being sexually involved with you then you know you got a keeper 🙂 I will be praying for you and I hope that you will take this time while your baby is still inside to educate yourself on being a mommy and to get prepared for the baby 🙂 You dont have time and energy to spend fretting about your boyfriend I know it is hard to not know where he stands but you need to make sure that your feet are firmly planted in reality and that you prepare yourself to do this alone incase he doesnt come around…dont let his uncertainty make you waver…You are a mommy and youve got to get your ducks in a row and keep yourself healthy let God deal with him!!!…..Love and Prayers…Meg
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