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- September 10, 2008 at 5:27 am #22176Anonymous
My wife, has just wrote on here, our story? She said I should write how I feel, and she thinks its been a great outlet to her….so here is goes….
I met my wife when I was a kid, I have known her my whole life… in highschool, our Junior year… we had a unexpected unplanned pregnancy. I am not saying i didn’t love my daughter… i did VERY much. But we were so young…
I knew she was pregnant, when she showed up that night…they say a woman knows, well I say every guy know when he sees that look on his girlfriends face… pure terror. I was there for her, even told her parents becuase she couldnt. They are pretty religious and I just remember looking at her and she looked… so … small and innocent, i felt so guilty for actions and getting her pregnant. her parents sent her to a boarding school the next day… i woke up downstairs at her house, and she was gone. Bags packed and vanished. She was seven weeks- maybe eight weeks along then…. they didnt tell me where she was until she was nearly seven and half months along. I remember most vividly waiting for her at the airport… nervous I knew her mother would have already given her the third degree… such relief to see the girl running towards me like a little girl…eyes sparkling with tears and blonde hair bouncing…. the only thing that wasn’t little girl about her was her portruding belly…
Her pregnancy went well after that, we became extremely close and the birth of my daughter was the best day of my life. I was in school and Dev, had the baby… we never really fought looking back.. just about our parents who managed to drive Dev crazy…
The darkest day was the moments we lost Kennah. I say moments because looking back through the chaos of that day doesnt describe it. It was the longest twenty four hours of the shortest seconds of my life. People were mistaken our parents as Ken’s parents, Dev was hysterical. I just remember saying goodbye to my daughter. looking at her tiny sick face. Knowing it was probably not going to be long…and everything we had endured for her to be there…5-4-07, hardest day of my life.
Dev and I got married that summer, we came to find she was pregnant and was before Ken’s passing… she lost the baby because she didnt take care of herself after her death… it put too much strain on the fetus…she had a few miscarriages since… she seems to get pregnant very easily it was keeping the baby.. the emotions she puts on herself due to Ken’s passing always weakened her system to much… she is such a fragile girl, my little mommy… I call her Little One, becuase she is five foot nothing and smalll small… I love her beyond comprehension. She is the mother of my kids and the beat to my heart. Thats exactly what she is.. the beat to my heart… She is the one I want standing with me at the gates of heaven…
My wife is almost five months along with our second child..(not counting the angels we lost) She is excited and anxious like every new mother… but… not every new mother has lost a child and feels such guilt as she… He (its a boy) is going to be named Kenner Kade… Kenner for my Kennah… and Kade.. because he is going to be one awesome little guy…
I guess the last thing i will say, is…knowing our story now…I guess i just don’t know the things to say to her when she brings up the baby’s death…she has dealt with so much lost in the last two years… I just want her to get excited and be happy… but i fell like I dont know how to comfort her… now… you are women.. what do i say… I know she cries alot, death of a child which is suppose to be a remote possiblity in every couples lives is soo real to her that she lost the Zest of Life… I know when she is pushin, she will have these thoughts… anyone have advice? I know its kinda of… well…. not the normal situation.. she gave me the password to this site… so i will check up and see if any of you can help… i would really appreciate it. After all I am just a guy 😉September 11, 2008 at 12:03 am #22182alexmx
First of all, OMG i youd odnt know how much tenderness you bring to my heart when you talk about your wife like that, i wish my boyfriend talked about me in that way, everytime i read your story i cry, i just cant imagine what your going through, the only thing i cna tell you that even if 10 years pass you will never find the words to talk to your wife about your daughter, those words dont exist, but you have to know that sometimes you dont have to say nothing to help her, just look at her eyes and hold her, no words at all, believe me she would listen to the words of your heart, just talk with your heart, you dont have to make a noise at all, just hold her, hold her with your arms and your soul… take care,, congrats on your baby boySeptember 13, 2008 at 7:28 pm #22226Anonymous
Wow, thanks for writing down the story from your perspective. It’s great that you are so supportive of your wife!
I don’t really know how you could comfort her… just a hug is good.
The truth is that no matter what you do, Jesus is the only one that can comfort her and set her free from the despair and guilt that she feels.
I hope that everything continues to go well for your wife and your baby, and that Devyn is able to be excited and happy about him! 🙂October 6, 2008 at 4:34 pm #22565jessey223
I think your wife is very lucky to have a man that cares and worries and wants to help her in anyway he can, not because he has to but because he wants to. I think the key is to be there for her like you have been. Sometimes for me anyways it is not about what you say but what you do give her extra kisses and extra hugs just because. I admire you for being a stand up guy they are few and far between. Best Wishes. JessicaNovember 7, 2008 at 7:29 am #23031inlove12
Wow. I have lost 2 babies. But early. Only a few months along. I cant imagine going through that. I am so glad that she has a husband like you to support her. Like the other women said, hold her. Let her cry and hold her. She is so lucky that she hasnt had to go through this alone. I admire you and her both. I have never talked to her, but i have read her story and she seems to be such a strong woman. She has gone through so much loss, but still has the will to live. So much stronger than i can ever be and you both have gone through so much more. Good luck with your new baby.June 1, 2009 at 6:13 am #25210lefam
hats off…to a guy who is young and brave!September 15, 2009 at 12:11 am #25734km_hunt
Looking back… my cousin drowned when I was very young, maybe 6. Im now 25. Her dad is still taking it hard. You turn to your wife, he turned to alcohol, you ask for advice, he asked for a fix, you will be a great father, he beat his following 2 kids… Do you see where Im going? Im not even positive where Im taking this. Unless someone is in your shoes they cannot say they understand only that they can try to imagine. I am deeply saddened and sorry for your loss. But she is here. All around you, trying to surround you with joy and love and peace. Are you a religious man? If so or not, turn to God. Give it to Jesus. But this could ony happen when the both of you are ready. Tell your wife how much you love her. Leave her tiny little love quotes around the house where you know she will find them. Rub her feet, massage her scalp softly. Hold her. If she talks about your agel with a smile, smile with her, if she cries, cry with her. Crying is good for the soul. Hang in there. Your son will not replace your angel, no one can, but he might just be that missing link, that little bundle of smiles to help to fill the void… just maybe..
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