"My life"

This topic contains 6 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by mommytoele Nicole Kirby .

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  • #12672
    mommytoele
    Nicole Kirby

    [color=#000080]Hello there everyone! I have posted many comments to many people’s questions, concerns, and what not.

    Although I love answering questions, posting comments… I would like to know if anyone has gone through what I have… or bits of it.

    I can’t write much, my daughter will probably want me in a minute or two. But here is some of it:

    I got pregnant at 15. I had my daughter on her due date on 1/2/04. She was wonderful and I thought my life was too. My ex was with me the whole time. In October, a few months before I had my daughter there was a baby shower put on for what I thought was for me, and the baby- but turned out for my ex. My ex’s family put it on for "him"… but it was wonderful, I thought. I was 15. There were many gifts. His family was there, my mom, sister, and two sets of grandmothers were there. I didn’t invite anymore. All the gifts were put into my ex’s parent’s house after they were opened and put back into the bags/boxes. It was awful. That night I asked for my grandmothers, mom’s, and sisters gifts. I got those which were about 10 gifts. There was MANY other’s left there. However, after my daughter was born, my ex and I were still together. Infact, were supposed to get married, he purposed to me on Oct. 25th, 2003. It was great, but in March, after my daughter was born… I had to have my gall bladder removed, I found this out prior to this because I had gall bladder ruptions. It was awful, and had to go to the ER 3 times before having it removed. My 16th birthday was on March 11th- I had my gall bladder out on March 8th. March 12th, I was taken back to the ER because I felt like I was dying. My temp. went above 106.7, and many other things were happening. I had bile leakage, it was awful, I’ll never forget it or the pain. I had to make sure my daughter was safe, I didn’t trust his family- I didn’t trust him. But I still wanted to be with him, so he didn’t take my daughter "away from me". I had that awful feeling when we were still together. So, I asked the lady who wore pink this one particular day when I was in the ER almost dying. I asked her "Please watch my daughter… Please make sure she is safe, and with my family- for me." She obviously did, because she was NEVER alone with his crazy family. After I had to have another surgery due to my complications from my gall bladder, I had to stay in the hospital. After I was released a few days laster… On March 21st- was a day I’ll never forget. My ex and his family wanted my daughter and I to come there. So, I agreed- althought I just had to stop breastfeeding because my blood also got posioned and couldn’t no longer do so… so, I was really hurting with the side effects to that- and plus with the surgery alone. I agreed to go there for a few hours. Well, we went there, and all- but a few hours, I wanted to leave. His dad got mad. I wanted to leave, but they didn’t want me too. His family, him, but I wanted too. I tried to leave- I went to the door and told my ex that I’d walk home if needed. So, I went to the front door, and all his family followed me. They locked me in, and finally I got the chance to call my mom. She spoke with his father- she told him to let me go, to have my ex bring me and the baby or else she’ll have the police be invloved. I finally got to go home about 1/2 hour or so after that. I cried the rest of the night with my daughter. It was awful. I promised I’d never go there again, but from March 21st- August 4th, I didn’t and the promise I kept to myself was true. I never went there. I couldn’t. I didn’t trust them and I knew the truth now, and I had a good reason not too. Let me remind you when my daughter was born… My mom, my dad, his mom and dad, his sister and her boyfriend (now married) and my nana, grandma- were all there watching me give birth to my daughter… On August 4th, when I went to his house- being the bigger person, I wanted it to be only his mom and dad… and it was. All went ok. I demanded we be outside, and sure enough we did. The next day, I got an invitation in the mail, It was to go to my ex’s house with ALL his family there. I denied the offer, because I felt that I wasn’t ready- and I knew if my daughter was to leave w/o me then I’d probably never see her again w/o a fight- my ex’s mom, that is the reason! Has anyone experienced something like that? Or know someone? An ex’s mom being crazy like this? Wanting another person’s child? Well, when I told my ex that I denied the invitation, but it was nice of them to invite us. I told him no, and that we could do something as family that day. We never did anything, the 3 of us, as a family. (Never, and still to this day!) He denied. So, he told me on Sat. the 7th he was coming tomorrow whether I liked it or not and was taking my daughter. He might not bring her back. Sure enough he came, and wanted to take my daughter on the 8th, when the party was. I denied, and called the police. He was shocked! I stood up to him! He didn’t like that. He called his lawyer, he ALREADY had a LAWYER!!! I didn’t even know what that was. So, I began to freak. I had my daughter. The police came, and escorted him out. Thankfully. The ordered that I went to Family Court the next day and I did. And that is when I began the awful court proccess. My ex got visitation, and since then we’ve been fighting in court. He just recently took me back to court because 4 days a week and 1 over night wasn’t enough for him. Now he has her every other weekend, and the following Tuesday & Wed. over night… then all holidays, but I thought the 4 days a week was good. Now, his time is mainly cut in half. =/ My ex finally has started to be nice. I want to go get counseling but he denies it. He won’t go, and when I get it court ordered- it’s only 2 sessions, what a waste. This is part of my story.

    Take Care,
    Nicki

    [/color]:dry:

    Post edited by: acas, at: 2006/10/31 14:45

    #12726

    Anonymous

    That is terrible! Well my sister went through a sort of similar situation. Her ex’s family is crazy! They wanted to take my nephew for a while even after my sister and their son broke up! They would call my sister and threaten her and tell her that she was being immature for not letting them be a part of my nephews life! My sisters ex is crazy. He has chased me, my sister and my nephew through town and stuff and on back roads and cut his car in front of ours! It was nuts! His father is a terrible alcholic! My sister and her ex went to court and he got visitation for every other weekend and he gets to see my nephew on holidays (part of the day). But pretty much what your ex’s family did was kidnap you! You should have told the police that! If anyone locks anyone somewhere and wont let them leave that is kidnapping! Thats sick! I cant believe that the court lets your ex take your baby so much! I can see every other weekend but all the other days is alot! If you are worried about him taking off with your baby then you should request supervised visitation! My sister requested that her ex take my nephew only to his sisters or his parents (as much as she hates to) because he used to have a drug problem. You should deffinately tell the court you are afraid of your child being kidnapped by the father! They may change the ruling! Good luck to you and let me know how everything goes!

    #12733
    dillon12
    zoe fleet

    wow funnily enough my sis went through went though the kinda same as jills did. my sis husbands family is CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my sis husbands family never wanted anything to do wth my nephew when he was first born as he wasnt old enough to do things 4 himself e.g go to toilet and stuff like that. but when he started get older he didnt want to go there as they smoke and drink and go all crazy and mi nephew hates going there as he is so closeto my family and he is not dump( he is now 3) my sis mother in law has never liked my sis as she was 18 when she got preg and her husband was 28, she was doing all she could to split them up and the sad thing after 2 years of marrige and preg wth there second child she got what she always wanted. now his family want my nephew to go there and 1 my sister doent want him going there not even with his father as they are psyco, but my nephew doesnt want to go there. she is getting through it but only coz she got the support from my family. she worries about my nephew eveytime he has to go with his father not coz of him but coz of his family.

    #12736

    Anonymous

    OMG that is such a terrible thing.

    Sorry to hear that. i think that u should go back to the family courts and request a him to be supervised with ur child when he has her.

    #12740
    lissy012207
    Alyssa Mainhart

    I have to have two different surgeries after my son is born on my arm so that I MIGHT be able to lift it again. They’re both 4-6 hour procedures and I’ll have one, then two weeks later, they are going to do the other one. I’m scared that something like what happened to you will happen to me. They have to take a major nerve from my one leg on the first surgery and cut my neck and attach it there. Then on the second one, theyre taking another major nerve and attaching it to right beside/behind my boob. There is going to be a spot like, the size of a silver dollar on my foot that I wont be able to feel but they told it it wont effect my walking or anything. I’m scared that they will mess up somehow and i wont be able to walk again or they will do something wrong b/c theyre working around my neck n heart. They assure me that I have the best doctor around and nothing will go wrong but with my luck it will..

    So, what started the problems with you and your ex? You mentioned what happened but I dont remember reading why it happened. (If you dont mind telling me..) Me and my fiance get into a lot of fights. Sometimes theyre so bad that I just want to run away and never come home. But i know that everything is going to be ok and we always make up. I’m just scared that one day, we wont. Theyre mostly over me being a b*tch b/c of my pregnancy hormones though.

    I hope everything works out for you. I really do. You seem like a good person and a great mom and I hope I can be that good to my son when he’s born 🙂

    #12807
    kez_mummy_2_skye
    Kerry Atkinson

    I have to say im glad you were strong enough to stand up to the family and get away from it all.You dont need that kind of crap in your life.You have a lovely daughter.
    I would say that it wouldnt be him pushing for more access it would be his family doing all the work telling him what to say. My hubby has had such a hard time trying to see his kids with his ex and she just plainly says "no im the mother"

    #12827
    mommytoele
    Nicole Kirby

    First, I want to say Thank you to EVERYONE who read "part of my life, story"… Though, I could write a book:
    Which currently I am doing…

    I want to tell you all that everyone’s posts/comments were ALL so nice and some were encouraging. I love my daughter to death, she means so much to me. Since her visitaiton has started, and the week long visitations- which currentley she is on one… She should be coming home tomorrow, Sunday at 5p.m., and now will not becoming home until 5p.m. this coming up Friday. I miss her a lot, and everyday I realize how much she means to me, and the time I spend with her means EVERYTHING. She is wonderful, very strong and willed. I suppose she has to be though, living this way. I wanted to say that I have tried to get Supervised Visits, I have tried to get it so when my ex has her even just for an over night he can NOT take her over the border, out of state another words- though they will NOT accept that. The judge and my daughter’s Law Guardian, who I do not believe is doing the best of job to his ability and YES, I am looking into that…

    I must be off, until then- everyone take care, keep writing, but most of all— Keep Smiling!
    Nicki

    🙂

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