This topic contains 14 replies, has 15 voices, and was last updated by Meagan Weber .
- February 11, 2007 at 1:57 am #15101
Me n my boyfriend argue alot, bu just recenlty he has started to hit me an call me real nasty names.
Today was different, we was arguin an he got up an hit me across the face and arm, he dragged me around and klicked me in the leg, Im 18 weeks pregnant and showing.
We used to physically fight before i was pregnant bu it all calmed down when i beacame pregnant.
Im scared hes going bak into his old ways, so i broken up with him on the spot, Im scared of bein a single mum bu its not jus for my saftey but for my daughter or son to. I dont no what 2 tell my parents they think or relationship is perfect an we are really happy lol what a joke. Im scared an alone now I never wanted 2 b a single mom bu now its happend an i dont no what 2 do . . . xxxxx love stephanie Bytheway xxxFebruary 11, 2007 at 4:07 pm #15120
By the sound of things, you need to get out of that situation. Not only for you (because it is not healthy) but also for your unborn baby. I know that the thought of single parenting is not appealing (i will be a single mum) but there is alot of help out there these days. I would suggest ‘fessing up to your family and addmitting all is not perfect and they may be able to help you. They can help if they dont know anything is wrong. Best of luck.
KylieFebruary 11, 2007 at 11:55 pm #15121
Wow. I can relate to this story. It makes me feel as if I wrote this story, but in a different way. I really feel for you girl, and if I could give you any advice* Please****** get out of the relationship. It was the *BEST* thing I ever did. Please check out my web site, I think under the "Abuse" you’ll find many different resources… I wish you the best of luck. Please get out of the relationship before he dangers the child and/or yourself…
NickiFebruary 12, 2007 at 6:29 am #15128
hey maybe u should tell ur parents wot has been going on, or a little bit so that they can kinda understand wots been going on in ur life for however long. And i dont know if ur the type of person to go bak when he says the right words but if u are then ur parents will be able to help u stay away from him. U honestly made the right decision although it might be hard to c rite now but u wont b alone forever, ul have ur baby soon and he or she will be the best company u can have =) goodluck.February 12, 2007 at 9:17 am #15129
im sry to here that. But you need to get out of this situation. you have someone else to take care off now not only do you have to protect yousrelf you need to protect you baby. please get out of this relationship beofore it gets worst. me and my bf argue alot but he never hits me. who knows how bad i would snap out if that would happenFebruary 12, 2007 at 9:41 am #15130
it is a scary thought to become a single mom – but many people do it, and make it work BETTER than if there were 2 parents. imagine if you did stay with him and you AND your baby were in this violence??
theres NO WAY your boyfriend should be hitting you and it was a very good choice to finsih it. not many people are strong enough to do that.
you know deep down it’ll be fine. hard, but it will work out, and it would have been harder with someone like that.
you’ll have to explain to your parents, you might not want them to hate him or anything like that, but he ruined that, not you. they will support you 100% with your desicion to finish it.
much love good luck be strong xxxFebruary 12, 2007 at 1:21 pm #15134
i know is i was in your situation i would rather be scared to be single then be scared of when i wake up in the morning if i am going to be hit again….i know its going to be hard but you can get help from your parents and friends…you leaving him is doin something very good for your babyFebruary 12, 2007 at 2:53 pm #15140
Be honest with your parents as well as his and tell them what he’s done. There’s power for him in keeping it a secret and power for you in telling it. Please reach out to them. You’ll definitely need them to support you and the baby, and you are so right about needing to protect your baby. One day that anger will be directed at him/her. I’m proud of you for taking the hardest step and breaking up with him. Every person at least deserves to feel safe. Hopefully his family will encourage him to seek help with his anger. Good luck and know that as hard as it seems, you did the smart thing.February 13, 2007 at 1:19 am #15145
Im proud of you. You did the right thing by leaving him
If he hit you once he will hit you again ,I know a girl who i became friends with online and she was 15 and pregnant and her boyfrined beat the hell out of her and it killed her baby she was 21 weeks. I know its hard being a single mom but its whats best for you and your baby.February 13, 2007 at 2:17 am #15148
No one, absolutely no one, is allowed to hit you. Even more, no one is allowed to hit your child. That boyfriend of yours didn’t jus thit you; he hit your son. At this point, it doesn’t matter what his reasons are, the fact of the matter is, until he can deal with that anger of his, he has no right being the father of your child. Put it this way, if he can hit a relatively defenseless pregnant woman and a totally defenseless child inside your womb, what’s to prevent him from doing harm to youor baby when the baby is born?
I would normally tell women to be patient with their partners because especially given your ages, he finds himself in a very awkward situation, being forced to be responsible and such and he’s looking at the possibility of losing his much valued freedom.
Your case however, is different. Though what I said about guys may still be true for him, what’s even more true here is that your first responsibility is to you and your baby. You obviously decided not to get an abortion but if you allow him to continue on this way, it’s like you’re allowing abortion to take place anyway.
Get your parents’ help. They may say things like, "You got yourself in this. Make it work." They’ll stop saying that once they see your bruises and the possibility of harm to their grandchild.
If being a single mom is what’s necessary to keep you and your child safe, then so be it. Being a single parent is better than a married battered woman with a chld suffering from physical and emotional trauma.
Look at all the girls/women here. A good number of them have gone through single parenthood. They’ve lived through it and a good number have had some good success with their lives. You can, too. Do not be afraid.
A friend of mine told me this: God will not take you somewhere and leave you there. Be strong and be strong in the Lord.
Take care. Email me anytime if you need to talk more.
ErickFebruary 13, 2007 at 6:00 am #15152
don’t be scared of being a single mom, especially if ur parents will help you take care of the baby…being in that kind of situation is not good for anybody you need to tell someone what he did to you, maybe even the police because that’s not right………and please don’t go back to him you are so much better than that……..February 14, 2007 at 8:57 am #15167
you made the right choice…..im sorry you had to go through that…..i witnessed my mom being hit everyday for our years and i know that is something i would never want to see again……you can raise your child all on your own you are a strong person…….just keep your head up and remember you have a baby to look after now……im sure your family will understand….just talk to them…..and dont hold anything back….good luckFebruary 25, 2007 at 2:03 am #15350
I told myself that I would never let a man put his hands on me, because I always saw my sister go through that when i was younger. That is really the wrong thing to bring a child into. Once we were at my oldest sisters house with my niece and they were fighting and my little niece got a knife and was about to stab he. please do not put your child through that and don’t put yourself through that it is not worth it for anyone. you can make it on your own my mom did it and she had my sister at 16. I hope everything works out for the better. Good luck.March 6, 2007 at 8:35 am #15579
Well first of all you are a smart girl for leaving him like you did, that baby is the most importan thing to you right now and thats a good thing. You should really tell your mom about what is going on and i am sure that she wil help out alot. I know that being a single mom can be scary, but girl being a single mom can only make you stronger in the end, and it can tell you that you dont need a man to help you get through the tuff times, because he wasnt thier. But maybe you could talk to him and tell him that if he wants the baby in his life then he needs to straighten up his act and start acting like a father. you know? Tell him the hitting had to stop. BEcause you dont want your baby to go through any of that, and you are not willing to lose the baby becuasehe wants to be a butt head. BUt Good Luck and hope to hear from you soon. You can always write me… IF you want i am here to help/March 6, 2007 at 10:12 am #15594
I agree that you need to get away from this guy. Not only for you and the baby but for him also. I left my daughters dad for the same reasons. He never hit me but I almost wish he would have because words seem like they do so much more damage. He left me scared so deep inside and caused me to believe that I was just used up trash and that no one else would ever want to be with me and that I wouldnt find a job and he was gonna take my daughter and I would just end up starving on the street. I finally left him anyways and decided that if all those things were true than that was fine but I couldnt handle one more minute of his control and emotional abuse. well 4 1/2 years later I am alive I have my daughter I dont work now because I just got married in Nov. and my husband lets me stay home with the kids. The lies he told me were not true. I did have to struggle for a while and I learned how to be thrifty with my money and I fell in love with being a mom. Even if it meant that I had to do it alone. So I encourage you to stand up for what is right and dont let him believe that it is ok to throw you around and hit you. If you let him you are really telling him that it is ok to do it. Get away while you can. Dont replace him with some other guy either. Please just take this time to get your life together find a job even if its not the best. Just do what you can to survive and let God take care of the rest. Commit your ways to the Lord and He shall direct your paths. It has worked for me I encourage you to do the same 🙂 lots of love and prayers Meg
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