This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Liezel Serfontein .
- September 22, 2008 at 7:23 am #22319
I have a bf named james. James is 25, works hard to pay all the bills and provide for me and my 22 month old son. He’s been raising my son since he was 3 months old and is the only daddy he knows. I know james really loves me because sometimes he really lets his guard down and tells me about how much I mean to him and he really shows it by everything he does for me and my son. Here’s the issue though. He’s just plain mean pretty much everyday. He points out all my faults and never notices my good points. If he doesn’t have all the clothes washed every single day by the time he gets home, he calls me lazy and worthless and says he’s going to leave me eventually. When something goes wrong in his life, he somehow finds a way to blame me for it. Everything is my fault. He tells me other girls are hot and he knows I have self-esteem issues. He yells at my son if he disobeys and is not abusive towards him, just really harsh. Too harsh for a child that’s barely 2. I’m also almost 9 months pregnant with a baby girl of our own and I’m afraid he’ll be just as harsh on her or show better treatment towards her than my son because she belongs to him. I don’t know. I love james and I know he cares because he shows it and sometimes says it, but he’s way too rough and I don’t want my son to grow up thinking that’s how men are supposed to act. Any advice would be helpful.September 23, 2008 at 11:16 pm #22346
My advice would be to have a heart to heart with him. Next time (hopefully soon) when he lets his guard down explain it to him. How you feel examples etc. Just make sure NOT to dwell only on the bad also make points of what he does good so you can keep his attention and he doesn’t feel like you are attacking him. I believe a key part to a relationship is communication. If you let this go on now it will most likely only get worse. You are treated the way you allow yourself to be treated. Explain it to him when you feel it’s right and then stick your ground when it happens pull him aside and address it. That would be my advice but every relationship is different. Best of luck Jessica.September 29, 2008 at 4:30 pm #22414
It makes me sad to know that some men out there think woman are thier slaves and they can treat us with no respect! It sounds like he is walking over you and treating you like youre his dog. I reckon you should talk to him and tell him how you really feel and the things he does and says is really hurtfull. And also it would be best to seek proffesional help, maybe some counseling? Setting a good example for your babies is the most important thing, don´t let him manipulate you – its very childish telling you that he is going to leave you, try sorting out your short comings, but ask yourself one question, do you really want your babies growing up in a harsh environment?
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