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May 20, 2008 at 3:54 am #21237emmyboo57
Right now I have no support from my family. My dad is telling me to get an abortion from the sidelines, we aren’t even talking right now though…so I don’t understand why he is trying to interfere. My grandmother is telling me that she doesn’t believe in abortion and that I should give it up for adoption. My mom is saying that she is kicking me out when I turn 18 no matter what I do, and my boyfriend is walking the line between keeping it and wanting me to get an abortion, only because he’s scared about financial things.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m scared as hell. 🙁May 20, 2008 at 5:16 pm #21240GangY
hey…i just read your post…
how old are you?
well what is your heart telling you? cause however, the decision is yours…i can just tell you, that i had an abortion..and belive me, it would be easier to have the baby…’cause i wake up and feel this big guilt,…and i would do anything to get the time back and keep it, i know i cant..but i would.
’cause you know, when u want something, then you can make it, the questin is just, what does your heart telling you?
you have to know what YOU want, cause whatever decision you will make, only YOU will live with it…
if u need someone to talk or anything, i’m here *****hugs****May 22, 2008 at 9:40 pm #21254Anonymous
If you need advice from the guys side….it is all up to you. The financial things might become a problem after a while but you can pull through. I never had sided on abortion but a child knowing they was adopted "may" have emotional effects on them later on in life as a teenager (even though some turn out perfectly fine).
IT is your choice what to do but i would suggest to keep the baby. I know you and your boyfriend will make it through. Good luckMay 23, 2008 at 2:55 am #21255emmyboo57
Thanks for the advice. I’m 17, but I’ll be turning 18 just after the baby is due. My boyfriend is 19.
His dad wants me to get an abortion, but I’m afraid that I will wake up with immense guilt, like you say you do. I’ve even talked to people I know who had abortions when they were younger than am I and wish they could have kept the baby. I’m just nervous and scared.
🙁May 23, 2008 at 4:13 pm #21258GangY
well, i don’t know exactlyy what u are going thru, but i can think…
the boyfrinds father…why doesn’t he want the baby? some ral fact or is he just afraid from having responibility?
i don’t know… i just can say to you…if you are having an abortion…you will never feel the same… you will never be the same..maby with time (but hell its been almost 2 year since i had mine and i feel like crap)…you’ll aski yourself how would he/she look like… it’s not easy… i know having a baby at this age isn’t easy at all…but i think (and many who i know that had an abortiion, and later (still as a teenager) had a baby says so to) that keeping it isn’t that hard than to live with an abortion…
but still… i think you really should think about, think about YOU, YOURSELF, and what you want…you shouldnt let someone decide for you…or let someone push ypu into something…
thats why i am telling you..take a day just for u and your heart…think about, what u expect,want…and then decide…
love****May 24, 2008 at 8:40 am #21263untbunny
Hi ya emmyboo!
First, I’m sending you a hug bear hug for comfort. Your life appears to be complicated right now. Caught in the middle of what your parents want and what you feel is best. Your parents are probably a little shocked and hurt knowing that their little girl is pregnant. If they just learned about the baby, give them a few days to come around. If they don’t come around, you can cross that bridge later. Sounds like you mom isn’t wanting you to leave right now anyway. Make sure you are in a safe location.
Second, parents have a habit of reacting poorly to early pregnancies. I know it feels bad right now-that the entire world hates you or is against you-but your parents are upset with your decision to have sex. It doesn’t mean they love you any less. They are scared as hell right now and don’t know what to do. In all honesty, how did you expect them to act?
Third, YOU need to make the decision. Not your parents, his parents, or bf. Abortion is a quick resolution to a life changing decision. I don’t believe men can understand the soul level pain some women experience post-abortion. Not because they don’t care but because they are incapable of carrying life. Give this some thought. Who is suggesting abortion? The men in your life-not the women. From your posts is sounds like you are leaning away from abortion, too. Do not cave into what others want you to do. Make the decsion yourself.
With that said, you need to begin to prepare yourself for changes. If you choose adoption or to keep, either two require insurance. Have you applied for Medicaid yet? Seen a Dr.? Prenatal care is important. I suggest that you begin the application process. That way you will have one less item to think about.
Finally, and again, You must make the decision. You can get through this difficult time. There are plenty on this board who will gladly chat with you. I am one of those individuals. Take care of yourself. Give this some serious thought. Find a quiet place and think for yourself.
Another big hug and much love for you. I’m here for you….untbunnyJune 3, 2008 at 8:27 am #21349MrsTWalsh
If you want to keep your baby you absolutely can! Even if no one wants to help you, you can do it. I got pregnant with my son when I was 19. My family was unsupportive at the time and the father wanted nothing to do with me. I waited tables until the day before I gave birth to my son. I had my own little place and money saved up. There are alot of government programs that provide assistance. Plus, if your mom is anything like my mom, she will hold that baby once and he/she will steal her heart. My mom had alot of hard feelings toward me but when she saw my son she didn’t want to be away from him. Your parents can become such a great resource for advice and support, just give them time. Once they know that you have made your mind up and you are keeping your baby,their attitude could change. If not, just know that you CAN DO IT! I am not saying that it won’t be hard but it is not impossible 🙂June 4, 2008 at 2:48 am #21358mjlovett
I am so sorry about the pain you are in right now! I have been there and I completely understand what you are going through. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my son and it was really hard. I’m here if you need to talk!
On a side note, if you decide that you do want to create an adoption plan for your baby I know someone who is looking to adopt.
MJJune 11, 2008 at 2:26 pm #21397Leannyxpoo
Hey, I kind of feel what your feeling except I haven’t had the balls to tell my parents yet. I only found out this week. I am nearly 17 and only just got into a posistion to be able to hold my own. My boyfriend is telling me to do what I feel but I don’t actually know what I feel. I hope it all turns out well for you, good luck in whatever you descide :).
PS: Is there anyone who could just give me some moral support maybe keep in contact via email?
ThanksJune 18, 2008 at 2:06 pm #21462untbunny
Leannyxpoo and all- please know that if you need an non-judgemental ear I am here for you. If you are looking for someone to tell you what to do, I’m not the one. However, I’ll be glad to chat, be a sounding board, let you cuss, fuss, and cry while exploring your own feelings and future. Let me know if I may help.
untbunnyJune 19, 2008 at 7:18 pm #21477Anonymous
I know where you’ve been even just last week. I’m 9 weeks and I just recently told my parents. My mom and dad both told me they’d kick me out if I got an abortion… but they came around to the idea of keeping. Now, neither of them are even agreeing with adoption unless they adopt my baby! My mom is very excited with naming, getting baby books, clothes, etc. and trying to get me into parenting classes. Sometimes it takes a little while for your parents to calm down- but they love you no matter what! As for the father… In my shoes, my ex-boyfriend and I found out AFTER we broke up. He told his mom that the baby wasn’t his. But my mom and his mom talk frequently now, and she said yesterday that he said that he knew it was his, and his mom said she knew it in her heart, too. Things have really worked out for me, and I promise that they will for you, too! This is your baby, and no body elses. It only matters what you want to do. Do what you feel is best for the baby and yourself. It will get better from here, I promise. God doesn’t give you more than you can handle!
Talk to me whenever you’d like, I’m here to go through it with you if you’d feel better.
Something to add that I just thought of: A baby- even having one- is very expensive. But there is lots of government help if your parents aren’t willing to support you! Stand up for what you believe in and they will realize what is best for you and do it, because they love you.July 25, 2008 at 8:42 pm #21741hope1day
I am so sorry about your situation, and I know you must be scared! Do you want to keep the baby? You do have alternatives. If you are not ready, for whatever the reason, to take care of the baby, but also do not want to have an abortion, you may want to consider adoption. I know you must be spinning as to what the best option is, but I also think you are so mature to know what lies ahead. If you are worried about finances, and you decide to go with the option of adoption, the couple should pay for ALL expenses. You could even do an open adoption so that you could stay in contact with the adoptive parents, if you wanted. I had an abortion many years ago, and now wish I had given someone that longed for a child, the chance to adopt my child. I can’t have children, so I may be a little biased on abortion, but if you ever need to talk, you can always leave me a message in my profile. I wish you the very best on this journey, and hope you find peace with any decision you make. Go with your heart, and don’t let anyone push you in to abortion if that is not what you want. My husband and I are going through the process of either surrogacy or adoption, and the ladies that are giving the gift of a child that I have met are truly a hero!
Many, Many Blessings
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