miscarriage(s)

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  • #18496
    Avatartaraj212

    hi my name is tara and im almost 16 years old (3 months!). there was a guy i
    really liked, but things got sort of out of control. last september, i met him,
    and instantly liked him. he told me he liked me in november, and since then we
    have been best friends (but we still liked each other, weird, i know.). in
    march, we started to have sex just because we felt like it. we werent together
    but we liked each other, so i didnt see it as a big deal. then for the next few
    weeks we had sex more and more often. at the beginning of april, i found out i
    was pregnant. he told me he would never talk to me again unless i got the
    abortion. i decided that i would rather have a baby than him, so i told him my
    choice. but it turns out that i had a miscarriage. so i decided to put it behind
    us and just pretend it never happened. i was so scared and confused and upset.,
    that it took me weeks to finally tell someone i had lost the baby. i was about 6
    weeks pregnant, and i was pretty sure it was !
    a boy (it was just an instinctive feeling, but i would have named him cameron).
    then in the middle of may we had sex again (a stupid mistake, because apparently
    i didnt learn from the first time..)
    two days after that, he asked some girl out. it was his bestfriend’s
    girlfriend’s bestfriend (very hard to understand haha). im putting this in short
    form, so youre probably not getting the point that this wasnt the first time he
    kinda left me in the dark like this. he told me he liked me, and did it, and i
    could just tell (even when i was so mad at him, he was still loving and caring).
    but some of the things he did were completely random and i was unable to
    understand why he did them..
    anyway, about two months after we had sex, i had another miscarriage. i didnt
    even know that i was pregnant, which is what made it so much worse. also, it was
    physically worse, and i was in pain for days, whereas the first one was quick
    and more of a shock to me.. i was two months along, and i had an instinct it was
    a girl, and i would have named her emma.. i have very strong feelings or
    instincts, and they are not usually wrong.. kind of like a physic, but without
    the whole circus act going on..
    the last time i actually talked to him was the night we had sex for the last
    time. i decided that he was the problem, and i needed to get over him and the
    first baby (this was just after the first miscarriage). he has tried quite a
    few times to contact me in the past few months (even resorting to saying
    something mean to get me to reply back to him, but i wouldnt). so he has no idea
    about the second baby, and im still afraid im not over him/it yet. he and his
    new girlfriend (they have been dating for two months) seem like theyre taking things to fast. he told her after two weeks of dating that he loved her, and she said it back, but i have a feeling its only because he wants her for sex. i have tried so hard to ignore him, it seems like it would have been easier just to talk to him again. everytime i said that i cant be friends with him again, something else has always happened between us. (ie: we got in a fight, and i told him i didnt want to be best friends with him agai!
    n, then he persuaded me not to be mad, so we started having sex for the first times. after the first miscarriage, i told him i didnt want to go through that again, because i knew if we stayed friends again, something liek that would
    happen, but he persuaded me not to be mad, so we had sex for the last time.) what should i do? ill be seeing him at school in the fall.. do i wait until him
    and his girlfriend break up to start talking to him again? or do i start talkng
    to him now, so that nothing can happen between us since he has a girlfriend? and
    how do i tell him i had another miscarriage, and he technically has two kids?
    thank you soooo much!
    tara xo

    #18500
    Avatarwashuchan

    he may be starting school with you soon but id suggest friend or not drop him. No friend or boyfriend would say if you dont have a abortion he wont talk to you. Just stay away. I was in a similar situation for a year plus. What kind of reaction do you expect him to have if you told him he had 2 kids with you? Im not trying to be mean but think this through. Just by experience and from what i saw he probably wouldnt care. If you need to hit me up with any more issues you know where i am.

    #18505
    Avatarbreathless

    Wow, honestly this seems like you’re putting your self dignity at stake here girly. I don’t see why you would wait for him to do something, haven’t you waited enough?? You are setting yourself up to become the used and abused sweetie and you need to stop before it becomes a lifestyle. This jerk has hurt you so many times in so many ways would you even waste ONE more second on him?? I’m angry, not at you but at him for being such a piece of crap and manipulating a "friend" into waiting by his side until he becomes interested in you again. You said should I wait till he breaks up with his girlfriend?? Why? So he can go back to you until he finds something better? This man has ravaged your mind and body, hurt you mentally and pyshically, and YOU are better than that and don’t need that bullsh*t in your life! If he ever loved and cared about you like he said he did your whole story would be completely different. What’s happening here is the direct result of someone seeing you trust them and setting you up to be USED and ABUSED! I know this because it has happened to me mannnny times before and although it hurt to realize that they never loved me I so desperatley wanted love. True love is out there waiting for you. I found my true love, forget this dumbass and go find yours!!
    Good luck and tell me how things go!
    love,
    Anna

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