This topic contains 5 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Falon Twitchell .
- May 16, 2005 at 3:25 pm #7835
Well am 18 years old and almost 7 months pregnant. These past 7 months have been the most unhappy months in my life. I don’t no what to do with my boyfriend anymore. It all started out when I found out i was prenant I was scared but also extremely happy because I thought he would be happy too…But the tables turned on me and he didnt want me to have it. I had my mind set to having this baby… He had almost everyone call me to try to convince me of a big mistake I was going to be making. But i insisted I wanted to have the baby. After llike a month he finally gave in and accepted it. He was just nervous because he wanted to be able to have a child at the right moment. After that he was also happy to find out that I was expecting a boy. He old me all these nice things on how we would move in together and in the future get married and I believed him. But all of a sudden like 3 months ago things between me and him have been going down the drain. After he got his new 2 seater sports car he like started disappearing. He calls me like every 3 or 4 days and never even sees me anymore. Recently he also lied to me I found out he got a DUI like 2 weeks ago, and the reason he didnt tell me was cause a while back I told him I wasnt going to live with him because of his drinking problem. He also has a very long criminal record…I just keep telling myself that hes going to change and its making it worst for me. Its partially my fault cause I never stood up to him. he hasnt even remembered that my b-day pasted like two weeks ago. It hurts me cause i really wanted a family but by the looks of things he doesnt change. And theres so many more things that have happened but I dont want to bore you all. I just need some help… I dont no hat to say to him the next time he calls… should I mention the DUI… Should I just break it off? ANd how do I break it off??? Hes the nly guy Ive ever had in my life… So i dont want to mess up. Please help….May 19, 2005 at 12:48 am #7880
I sorta no what your going through. See, when I told my boyfriend that I was pregnant, he was EXTREMELY happy….he was so happy it made me sick…because there I was scare to death. I even yelled at him for it….I was alll "how could you want this" and stuff like that. Then I told him he would wake up the next day and relize what is happeneding…… after that, I never received another phone call from him. He wouldnt even reply to any of my e-mails. (he ususally does right away) so I just new that he didnt want to elp me like he said he would. It was a week before we talked…I finally got the strenght to call him (a few days ago)….. it was really hard becuase he broke my heart…and you no what??? he acts like everythings okay…. like nothing happened!!! I wanted to yell at him, i really wanted to…. but I dont want to push him away because I need him during the pregnancy. well, he was all wanting to hang out. I was so hurt because, I love him, and hes the love of my life. but, I no things are different between us. well, with your problem, I think you should talk to him, but dont bring up the duI….wait a bit…because seriouslly you dont want to get him mad….anything you say could push him away. so try to not say anything that might upset him. Its really hard, especailly since are guys arent realy helping….. but, I dont think you should break up….. it will cause more stress. and plus, since you still love him, then dont. just be striaght up with him, and be all "why have you been distant" and stuff like that…… but he could be like my guy (im not dating him anymore) but when i said that to him, he was all "sry I didnt no I was" which is a lie..i mean is it so much to pick up a phone…or send an e-mail…. what ever….maybe the guys are just scared.
update me on anyhting newMay 19, 2005 at 4:47 am #7885
Hey hun, don’t stress yourself out over a guy. No matter what, all guys still have a little child in them and they don’t seem to grow up as fast as women. He may come to his senses and come back to you but if not, all you can do is be strong and love your precious baby. There are many women today raising children by themselves, it is hard, but we do it and it shows others around us how strong we are. If you do decide to stay with your guy, don’t be as clingy because sometimes they seem to run away more, show him you can be independent while in a relationship, give him space but make sure he knows he has a baby who will need his/her parents in the future. Good luckMay 19, 2005 at 5:57 am #7890
You have been going through alot. I would like to say that you have been very brave and strong. From your story it looks like your boyfriend is not ready to be a father, I mean, he can not manage his own life. Perhaps the reason you do not see eachother anymore is that he is subconsciously trying to escape. It looks like you and your son would be better off without him in your life until he grows up. If I were you I would let him drift away like he seems to be doing allready. I can’t make the choice for you though, only you know what is really going on. I wish you the best of luck. Know that you are not alone and I will be thinking of and praying for you.
TeresaMay 19, 2005 at 1:25 pm #7901
hey hun. First off i am so sorry that you have to go through all this! You are so strong. You made the right decision!!!
He is excited but he’s very scared! He doesn’t have to deal with the pregnancy everyday like you do so he runs away so he doesn’t have to. Do you understand. HE isn’t that he doesn’t love you but he’s scared he actually has to grow up now!
The next thing i’m going to tell you some people proably won’t agree with. This is what I would do in your sitution. I’m not telling you it is what you should do. Only you know whats best for you. I would tell him (face to face) that he has a problem. If he doesn’t fix it or get help that i would take him to court and get his parental rights taken away and make sure that i get child support for him. I know i wouldn’t want an alcholic (spelling?) around my kid. And if he really excited about the baby as he says he is he’ll change. If not you don’t need him. It’s not whats best for you or him any more it’s whats best for the baby!!!
Hope this helps. Keep me posted!May 19, 2005 at 7:10 pm #7906
Now that you are pregnant and expecting a child you have now become #2. You must think in "what would be in the best interest of my child".Having a father with bad behavior that eludes that he could possibly have an alcohol problem is not the best role model or father figure for your child. I know he is the father and you want your family to be together, but he has to get with the program here. Ignoring you will not change the fact that you are having his child and he will be a father in the near future. I would definately express your feeling and concerns with him, he is about to become a father so he better shape up. Any good parent would do anything and sacrifice anything for the well-being of their child. He should feel the same way, if he doesn’t then he is not worth keeping around. Please stay strong for the well-being of your child.
With Much Love,
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