Marry just because I am pregnant

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  • #14780
    Avatarhappyandsad

    Hi. I’m 20 weeks pregnant and even though it was unplanned, i’m very happy. I only knew the baby’s father 1 month before i became pregnant. He was also very happy that i was pregnant. We are still together, and i truly love him. And when he asked me to marry him i thought things couldn’t be better. But lately he’s been very withdrawn, and has said things like, "I don’t know if i love you for you, or because you’re having my baby." And when i ask about it he says, "Does it matter? We’re getting married." I know it sounds selfish, but i want to marry him because i love him, and i don’t want him to marry me because he "has to". Is it better to have a child in a home where the parents don’t love each other, or to have separate parents that are happy? I appreciate any help, my heart breaks more every day.

    #14800
    Avatargoodluckyall

    In this day and age, it’s common for there to be unwed moms. It’s for that purpose that folks got married (to give the child dad’s name) in the past. Since there is no stigma now, I’d say your question has already been answered in your heart. If you know it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it just for the baby. I personally think the child would be much happier seeing mom and dad get along and be unmarried than to eventually split because a marriage didn’t work out. If you and he decide later that you do indeed love each other, get married then. Otherwise, remain parenting partners and be happy.

    #14805
    Avatarbonny

    hey!! well for staters congradulations!!! this is just the beggining of the rest of your life!

    ok well to be honest theres no need to worry so much as to the type of home ur baby has the main priority as u no is that he/she has loving parents which in this case seems to be the case but chicken there is NO such thing as a ‘normal’ family, home, living arrangement etc! every family is diff, seperaton is alot more common now adays than 30 yrs ago!

    if you feel that ur fiance has only asked u to marry him bcause of the baby then sit him down and calmly ask him ‘are you marrying me for ME or our baby?!’ ‘if we wern’t in this situation would you still ask me to marry you?’

    these are questions you need to no the answer to!! JUST because you both are having a baby DOESNT mean you need the extra stress of marriage! ehy not just take it slow??

    have your baby and then AFTER that,talk about marriage!! theres no rush honestly! you wana no its for the right reasons that he has asked you!

    i really do wish you the best of luck and if ever you need to talk im ere!

    best wishes!! xxxxxx 😉

    #14807
    Avatarashleymarie07

    Being pregnant by someone is no reason what so ever to marry them. You marry someone because you love them and feel you can not live your life with out them. I am 38 weeks pregnant and i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and we both know we are not ready for marriage. if you marry someone just because your pregnant and you think its the right thing to do chances are it will not work out. but if you love this person with all your heart and feel you could really spend the rest of your life with him go for it. i am just saying i have went through the pain of divorce and it can truly hurt a child. just think about it REALLY REALLY hard before you make a life changing decision such as marriage. keep me posted and i hope everything goes well for you and your little one! i am here if you need to talk about anything just let me know!!

    #14813
    Avatarbweber

    if he’s not sure if he truley loves you don’t marry him….marrying a girl just beacuse she is pregnant is not "the right thing to do"…it’s wrong, and is the top reason for divorce in young couples…i know because my cousin married a girl because she got pregnant and he wanted to do the "right thing", they had two kids together and then got divorced………………it’s better to bring a baby into the arms of seperate happy parents than unhappy married ones……..i hope you make the right choice……
    (and may i ask how old you are?…i’m 17(18 in april), 21 wks preg, and marrying my highschool sweetheart of 2 yrs, who is also the baby’s daddy….

    #14982
    AvatarTaurus babe

    I’m sorry you’re having a hard time right now. I would say you shouldn’t marry him just for the baby. He’s probably scared and confused right now, but it’s got to be hard to hear someone say they’re not sure if they really love you or not. Don’t rush into anything. Take is slowly, as you already have one huge thing going on in your life…a growing baby inside of you. take care, and try and keep your head up!

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