- This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated by .
January 15, 2009 at 6:36 pm #23794green18
So yesterday, we found out that she was pregnant. We have been dating for almost a year now. Im 18 she is 17, i love her with everything, she is my life, i would go to the end of the world for her. I know we are not ready for a child at the moment, we are both in school, both trying to make a life for eachother, so it is simply not right to bring new life into this world without being properly able to provide for this new life. We hav chosen abortion. It will happen at 11 am tommorow. I know most of you are pro-life, but it simply isnt the right time for us, i would marry her in a heartbeat, i would have children with her right now, but we would like to bring our child into a stable lifestyle. I know you guys and girls will tell me otherwise, but the decision has been made. I love children, if i was 7 years older, i would be posting pictures of the ultrasound, showing the baby i would undoubtably keep. But the fact remains, i am 18, she is 17 we just arent ready. Not even for adoption.January 15, 2009 at 8:59 pm #23803liquidsunshine13
Green 18, I am 17. My boyfriend is 19. I am now 17 weeks pregnant and due to go for my scan in the next two weeks.
Plenty of people who have kids at this age turn out fine and the kids also do.
It is daunting at first but right now im so glad me and my boyfriend chose the other alternative. Right now i’m waiting anytime now for my baby’s first kick, i’ve heard its heartbeat numerous times and i love it already. Ask yourself if you really cant bring up a baby? for your girlfriend she can go to college. maybe not straight away, but its not as if her life will be over with this baby. and neither will yours. Please just consider living with yourself after this. If you think you can then ok. But dont feel as if this is your only choice.January 15, 2009 at 9:46 pm #23804lisa
Hello – my name is Lisa and I wanted to come on and also share my heart with you. I’m so glad that you came on to share your heart and your stand. I hope you don’t mind if I do the same for you too. Please note that I come to you in the most gentle of ways that I can.
Firstly, I want to share with you that I have gone through the ‘abortion’ experience so please remember that I’ve crossed that path and know from personal experience. OK?
I must say that your love for this girl truly sounds solid and so wonderful. I would say that every girl would dream of having a man love her as much as you love your girlfriend.
With that love, I think that you are not seeing something. You see … she IS a mommy and you ARE a daddy right now. With all due respect, your sweet girlfriend is pregnant and though she may seem to also have decided that abortion is what she is going to do … I would bet anything that if you were to go to her and tell her “Honey, I love you and I believe in you. I want you to have this baby. I will take care of you and support you. I will not leave your side. We can do this. We can Stand Up together.” I bet she will melt and cry in your arms.
You see – usually abortion ends with HER heart in trauma. It’s something that most guys probably will never be able to understand because … well because they are guys they aren’t girls. Your girlfriend has something inside of her that is a nurturing mother. So when we allow the women that we care about go in and have her very own baby taken from her (which by the way is a permanent thing) something inside of her changes immediately! Something inside of her … dies. Her heart will always have something missing. That something that is missing is a person that was suppose to be alive … yet is gone. Then usually that trauma is manifested by hurt, pain, heartache which can grow into bitterness or resentment. Then … anyone that is associated with that child or abortion is only a painful reminder and will need to be removed from her life.
This being said – your relationship is in danger at that point.
The relationship with the father of the baby usually doesn’t last after abortion. She will search for ways to relieve the pain she has in her heart … you may not see it … but it is there. Often times she will turn to drugs, maybe alcohol, even the possibility of a promiscuous life … just to search for some way to fill that empty void in her heart.
Does any of this make sense to you? Please please please – if you really love her … don’t allow her to go into this place and have her heart broken. You are her protector. Be her hero and Stand for her. Stand with her. This baby was made in LOVE. Why would you allow her to kill this beautiful baby made in love? I promise you when you start to plan for this baby … your futures will be what you want it to be. This baby will give you BOTH the drive to achieve even more.
Please let me know what your thoughts are.January 15, 2009 at 10:02 pm #23805Evangeline
I don’t think you know what you’re letting yourself and your dgf in for. A lot of ites wil tell you that a post abortion syndrome does not exist, but I’ll tell you from experience that since my own abortion and right to this day I suffer with guilt, anger, regret and depression so sever I’ve tried to end more than once.
I have read that some women feel nothing but relief afterwards, but I have yet to meet one of those women who are happy about having killed their child.
I’m not going to preach to you, what’s done is done, but if you feel you aren’t mature enough/ ready in anyway for a baby then you shouldn’t be making them. Yes, mistakes are made, a lot of us here know that, but how we deal with those “mistakes” is what sets us apart. But if you know that there is any chance of her falling pregnant then you both should have taken precautions so that you would not have to be making a deciion like this now.
Having a baby is not the end of the world, a lot of the single mothers here can tell you that. And why are you so opposed to adoption? There are many couples who are dying for a baby but are not able to conceive, you’d be saving your baby and making another family very happy. I just don’t want you and your dgf to go through what my dbf and I have. Fortunarely we are still together, but after an abortion most relationships don’t last.
I wish the two of you well, whatever you decide,
Evangeline.January 16, 2009 at 7:07 am #23808mommyofkandp
I just hope you have really thought this through. I had my 1st child a month before my 16th birthday. It was hard but I had a 2 year old at my H.S. graduation. I waited 9 1/2 yrs for my second. It’s a huge event in your life and something you will never forget. I am currently trying for a 3rd and suffered a miscarraige in Sept. It was the worst time of my life. I can’t imagine choosing to abort a baby. Good Luck and I hope you can live with whatever you choose.
- The forum ‘I Think I’m Pregnant…Now What?’ is closed to new topics and replies.