It’s been so long, too long since I’ve thought about you properly. I miss you, miss thinking about you, miss sitting under the stars talking to you, miss missing you…. I’ve made so many mistakes, cried too many tears to count but nothing on Gods green earth changes the past or brings me any closer to having you in my arms.
Your father and I actually spoke about everything a month ago, the first time since everything happened… we spoke without anger, without figthing, without resenting… But I still miss you… I still miss everything that I will never have with you.
You’d be so beautiful now. I see you in the smiles of every child, I hear you in their laughter and their cries and I miss you more.
I was cutting myself when I should’ve been picking out baby clothes for you, I was drinking myself into a stupor when I should’ve been rocking you to sleep. Once, I could’ve blamed mother nature… but the next was my own doing, my own choice, my own mistake.