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August 22, 2008 at 9:42 am #21970edzbabyg1rl
i am with a man who admitedly does not love me…. i know why and he has every reason to feel that way, i screwed up…. but i don’t wan to murder my baby, i want to keep it, but i can’t do it alone and i can’t get attached like i did with my son and then have to say goodbye…. we fought all night last night for over 5 hours until he finally gave and and told me to keep it and we will just see what happens, but he acted so angry at me, and said basically he will sleep on the couch for nine months. he said he would stay with me, but only for the baby if that is what i chose. so i don’t know what to do…. i have no where else to live, seriously, my whole family basically gave up on me because i chose to be here with him instead of with them… the only place i would have a chance to live is with my father and my mother and my dad is allready freaking out on me for being pregnant again…. iknow i cannot give this child the happiest life, but i could give it a life…. or just make everything go away, i am soo scared and confused…… please help me… if you do respond i hae one request, please don’t bring up god, i used to beleive but i stopped when my son got sick, my choice right…. another reason why my catholic family hates me…. do you think there is a chance he could change his mind after he sees the sonogram, i am putting off the abortion as long as possible, they can do it where i live all the way up to partial birth (i won’t do that)August 22, 2008 at 9:17 pm #21977queenB
Well, my hat is off to you for being a Stand Up Girl. Way to Stand Up for yourself and the life of your child. Your little baby is lucky to have a mother like you!
I’m sorry about your situation, but there is help. There are pregnancy resource centers that can help you. Everything they have is free and confidential. They can help you with maternity clothes, car seats, baby food, and housing if you have no place to go. Just go to http://www.optionline.org, click on “find a center”, and type in your zip code, a list of pregnancy resource centers will appear. Just call one and tell them your situation. They will be happy to help you.
You can make it through this. You never know, after 5 hours of fighting you might be through the hardest part. Just keep sticking to your guns. You’ll make it through ok.August 25, 2008 at 8:25 am #21986hope1day
I think anything is possible. It may only take him seeing the sonogram. I know it must be hard. I noticed that you said you could give the baby life, I can tell you that is a beautiful thing. My husband and I are going through the adoption process, and any woman that gives a child a chance at life, even though you may not be able to give the baby all that you want, is a true hero. Please reconsider abortion. If you want to be in your child’s life, there is always open adoption. If that is a route you are thinking of, I can tell you that the adoptive couple should be willing and ready to open their entire life up to you, and readily pay for any and all of you expenses. If you want any info on the process, I’ll be happy to share with you all things we have been through during our process. In the mean time, try to stay strong.
ChristyAugust 25, 2008 at 4:35 pm #21988Nicolette
Your story is heartbreaking, as I read your words I could feel your heart breaking. You got to know that you can do this. I can sense that you don’t want to have an abortion- don’t do it, you know you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. I know you may feel like everyone is rejecting you right now and that you have no where to turn to, but no matter how alone you feel, you need to remember that there’s a little baby growing in you that needs your protection. No one else is going to look out for it, but you, don’t reject it the way everyone else seems to be rejecting you. Give your baby a chance- fight for it. The father may not be interested- that’s his lose, that doesn’t make you any less valuable, beautiful or intelligent and that doesn’t make your baby’s life any less worth living. I know you may think that you won’t be able to give your baby a happy life- but your child still deserves a life- I’m sure that as sad as anyone’s life can be- at the end of the day we’re all glad that we’re alive and I promise you that your child will always be thankful to be alive. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to figure everything out at once. Take a breather and decide to live the best you can one day at a time. If it means going back to your parent’s house- go there- even if you have to live with a little bit of tension before it all works out. Right now you need some support and family can give it to you- no matter how disappointed they seem to be in you. And as for God, He isn’t rejecting you like everyone else, he isn’t even rejecting you the way you’ve rejected him. There’s a verse in the bible that says “even if my mother and my father reject me, the Lord will take me in” Psalms 27:10 that promise isn’t just for people who are “perfect” and do good all the time- it’s for you as well. Any time you decide to go back to him, he’s waiting for you. He doesn’t hate you, he doesn’t look down on you, he isn’t freaking out on you like your real dad is- he’s just longing to be everything you expect a father to be. He is the ONLY person you can be sure of who will never reject you. I know it may seem like your life is in a rough place right now- but don’t have an abortion- that will turn your life into a whirlwind of pain. Give this child a chance and give yourself a chance to prove to everyone that you can make it- that you’re a strong and brave woman on the inside- having children does that to you- the same way if a lion walked into your son’s room you’d somehow find the strength to attack it with your bare hands; that’s the same strength you have to stir in yourself for this baby. One day at a time… there’s plenty of support here on standupgirl. Don’t be a stranger, stick around- we’ll be your family. Love Nicki.August 27, 2008 at 9:41 pm #22014Child_of_God
I have read the advice everyone else has given you on the abortion and it is great advice, not more than I can say other than really consider their advice. And I know that you asked not to bring up God and I’m not going to exactly, I just want to ask you about your son, you said that he got sick and you don’t believe in God after that? Did he pass away? The reason I’m asking is to understand why you gave up on God. Maybe I can share a bit of my story with you, and of course it will make a case for God and why you shouldn’t give up on Him.
You are loved and being prayed for. I understand if you don’t respond to me and if you do and absolutely don’t want me to talk about God I won’t. I just want to be there for you if you need me. I know you don’t know me but I can tell you, I have walked through this with a few ladies and I am truly a lover of people and my heart breaks when someone is hurting.August 31, 2008 at 5:18 pm #22060kez_mummy_2_skye
you seem deep down that you dont wanna have the abortion so i wouldnt do it if you had any doubts.
I believe that a man seeing the ultrasound can change his mind but dont go in there thinking that it WILL but hey, if he is going to be there for the baby i wouldnt complain. There is alot of men that wouldnt have even stuck round to see the baby on the monitor.
I hope you really do choose what you want.
Have you spoken to your family about whats going on, maybe they might forgive you and let you live with them again?
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