Just found out and scared to death

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  • #10240
    AvatarAnonymous

    I am 20, engaged and in college. I come from a very conservative Christian home, and I just took two pregnancy tests this afternoon. Guess what? PREGNANT. I wondered if I was, because I have been having cramps and dizziness for about a week and a half. I also seem to be smelling things very strongly.

    The thing is, I have been on depo-provera since like July, and I just got the most recent shot mid-December. I have followed the rules of depo, and shouldn’t have been able to get pregnant anyway.

    I CAN NOT tell my parents or let them know. I would honestly rather die. So I am going to get an abortion. I can’t have a baby now. I can’t afford it, and I can’t do it mentally. My fiance is all for the abortion too. We would love to have kids together in the future (like five years from now) but not now!!!! I just want it to go away. I don’t know when my period would be, because I am pn depo and don’t have it anyway.

    I am scared to death about getting an abortion, but not so much about emotionally getting rid of a baby. I NEED to wait to have a baby. I am terrified about being pregnant at all. I need help, but I can’t tell anyone. Help!!!

    #10318
    AvatarKit

    My parents are very conservative too. I had a couple of pregnancy scares in college and the thought of having to tell my family that I was pregnant terrified me! I have to admit that even though I considered myself to be pro-life the thought of abortion did cross my mind. I didn’t want to have to tell them. I didn’t want to be judged. I didn’t want to be lectured and yelled at or see their disappointment in me. I just wanted the problem to go away. It turned out luckily that I was not pregnant either of those times.

    If the tests had come back positive I hope that I would have had the strength to face the negative reactions of my family and carry the child to life. Abortion may seem like an easy solution, may seem like a quick fix to make the problem go away without anyone having to know. However, it is not as simple as it seems on the surface. Before you decide to have an abortion I would encourage you to read the posts and stories from other girls who have had abortion and are now dealing with the pain, grief and guilt or even physical health consequences of the past abortion.

    If the time is not right for you to have a child I would encourage you to consider adoption, rather than abortion. That way your child would be given life and you and your boyfriend can move on with your lives and wait to raise children until you are ready for parenthood. It is very normal to be scared! I completely understand, but don’t let fear drive you into snap or rash decisions that you may regret later. Please consider all options before rushing into abortion. Perhaps your family will be more supportive than you might have imagined.

    Kate

    #10336
    AvatarAnonymous

    i was 20years old when i found out i was pregnant . i was scared i also wanted to have a abortion . telling my dad was a scary thing , he wanted me to wait until i was married to have a baby . i promised him i would wait . well i ended up telling him it was hard at first he was soooo disapointed in me and i felt like shit for hurting him . i started looking up pictures of aborted fetus’s on the net it was so sad all these babies killed cuz they where not wanted . im totally against abortion now . i look at my nine month old baby boy and get mad i ever thought of doing it .everything is fine now and my dad loves his grandson so much . please think about this . dont rush into it . if u dont want the baby give it to some one else that cant have children , at least give the baby a chance at life

    #10383
    AvatarAnonymous

    I just found out im pregnant. I am definately pro life but the thought iof abortion has crossed my mind more that 100 times in the past 3 days. i dont know how to tell my family or when. i know my family won’t be supportive but im hoping they dont judge me. honestly. i think abortion is wrong. i feel i made this mistake, and i should live with it. as should you. as harsh as that sounds. its not fair to your unborn child who wasnt even given a chance to succeed. what if your parents had an abortion? just some things that ive been thinking about.

    #10404
    AvatarAnonymous

    Its your body and u can do what u want to do but think about how bad you will feel and the regret u would have from getting a abortion….. Just think.

    #10428
    AvatarAnonymous

    i was absolutly positive that my parents would kick me out, disown and id be on my own. they didnt do either. my mom watches my daughter while i go to school and work. theyll be disappointed-theres no way around that but when they see that little face-or even just the gray blur on the ultrasound theyll fall in love. in the end itll be all worth it. itll be okay in the end and if its not ok its not the end.

    #10430
    AvatarAnonymous

    Don’t have an abortion….when your parents find out about it, and they most likely will, they will be even madder!!!! You just can’t have an abortion, its killing another life. You can put the baby up for adoption or anything just don’t kill your baby. Think about it…your mom didn’t kill you!

    Calli

    #10435
    AvatarAnonymous

    Hey girl,

    I’m 22–so not far from you. I’ve been scared like you before and I have friends in that situation. I come from the conservative Christian family too, so I know what you mean when you feel you can’t tell them. To be Christian though means that forgiveness and love and support are necessary and given out freely. Besides, you’re not giving yourself enough credit here. You are old enough to be a decent mom. You’re getting married anyways. Yes it would be hectic and rough to go through with this, but the hard part only lasts for a little while. Your family will take one look at your child when he/she is born and I promise they won’t be able to show anything except love. On the other hand, you seem to think that an abortion will keep you from having to go through the pain/horror/disappointment/anger around you when everyone finds out you are pregnant. But the emotions you experience for the rest of your life will be more painful. Everytime you look at the future children you and your fiance have, you will remember that there is one more. You will feel guilty for not letting them know their big bro/sis. You will remember the day you had your abortion, and every year, you will relive it. That is much less preferable than celebrating a birthday every year. You are in an adult situation and so you have to act like an adult here. It is your DUTY to do what is best for everyone involved–that includes your baby. If that means adoption, then do that, but don’t make your child suffer because you made the wrong decision. Be a mother–do what is good for your child too. I know I don’t know you, but the fact that you are on this site tells me you can choose the right decision! I’ll be praying for you!!

    love, sara

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