Just found out!!

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  • #28078
    AvatarNichole06

    Hey im new to this site but i desperately need some advice Im 22yrs old and a senior in college.. I just found out im preg my bf of a yr and a half and I were still together before I found out I was pregnant. At first he was ok about and said he would support me 100% either way I went but he always wanted me 2 get an abortion. But once I finally made the decision to keep it hew went off sayin he new knew I would keep it and basically sayin I would trap him. He ignore my phones call and dont even care. I am now considering gettin an abortion because I dont believe im strong enough to go thru all da pain and being alone throughtout my pregnancy. I would be graduating in December 2011 with a degree to teach high school English and have a good support system 4rm family and friends but im very scared of being a single parent and being embarassed by my now ex and my family being disappointed in me.. I know ima regret it if i get an abortion but im very scared 2 subject my child and myself to my ex bf’s actions and the fact that he dont care but I feel guilty because im letting him force me into something I dont believe in.. Im sooo confused any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.. Thanks

    #28121
    AvatarDorkneetah

    Like I always say, “ADOPTION!” I think it’s rather silly to only present abortion or parenting to yourself.

    No one can deny the fears of pregnancy with a partner or not. Hell even with a support system or not. Believe me in the end it doesn’t matter as soon as that little baby flips, kicks and hell beats their heart enough you can see it looking at your stomach it’s all worth it and it’s a lot easier with the reminder that they are unaware of your situation and just wanna live. Whether you choose parenting or adoption you can get through the pregnancy a lot easier by thinking about what your giving them. Adoption, IMAGINE! That little baby could be in a home with two loving parents, siblings, good steady income, toys, a nice neighborhood and if you choose, you, in that same picture. Parenting though has a lot more downsides but it still has some upsides. You get to cuddle them each night (and that takes away the hardship when you see their smile), you get to raise them with your personal values, you are their world, ect.

    Abortion to has some pros. Although I personally do not believe in it I do see the pros it has. The pregnancy is terminated. No worry. That simply.

    Also think of your negatives.

    But from what you have described to the forum I can honestly say I promote the choice of Adoption to you. Scary, hard ect. IT’S ALL HARD. Abortion is not easy. THERE IS GUILT. So I am saying this, if you think it’s the easy way, it really isn’t. Because you will miss that baby, think about it every day and then will have to deal with your feels. Luckily there are a lot of post abortion support groups. It’s not a form of birth control, it is a serious parenting choice.

    I am not saying do not do it, I’m just saying it’s not the ‘easy’ choice. Parenting is not the easy choice either as many girls think it is. Also adoption much like abortion has a guilt/selfish factor to it for many woman.

    🙂 no young mother has a set up, perfect support system. If we did this would not be a ‘problem’ in our society would it? I wouldn’t worry much about it because the support comes no matter what one of the 3 options you choose. Someone will sympathize with you and help you through it.

    BTW: No man is worth having if he won’t let you even consider parenting. He obviously doesn’t love you much if he’s not even willing to consider spending his life raising a beautiful child with you, in a relationship or not.

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