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September 5, 2005 at 3:52 pm #9194Anonymous
Growing up my mother was always depressed, and my father was never around he was a big CEO of a large company any was always to busy with his "girlfriends", to ever even know who his family was. So at 15 of course met the "man of my dreams" He was from the wrong side of town, 2years older than me everything I needed to get my parents attention, or so I thought, no matter what I did my mom would just ignore me even more, I moved in with Jason, at 17, nobody noticed. Then found out I was pregnant, couple months later. Jason was so happy! And finnally I had a chance in my warped mind of 17 that I could have this happy family. After being pregnant about 1 1/2 months Jason told me that he was no longer interested in me,and insisted I "get rid of it". When I told him No way he punched me right in the face I was so shocke but I think he really liked how impowering it felt because he didnt stop till about 30 minutes later. I had a broken nose, fractured arm and bruises from head to toe., then he raped me. I could not explain the shock I was in because in the 2 1/2 years we had been dating he never laid a finger on me. But of course I stayed I told myself I had no where to go. And 2 weeks later he forced me to get an abortion. I cried for days i lost about 15 lbs. I never wanted to do anything.Then atop all of that he would tell people in his family , and his friends that he really wanted the baby but , I insisted we get rid of it because I didnt want to "get fat". I finnally got the strength to leave him about 6 months later. I am now 29 married to a wonderful man for 2 years been together for 5 years I am an R.N. , with a beautiful baby boy 5 months old. But the emotional scars just won’t go away. I will sit up in bed and wonder of a day that I go to heaven and have to face my unborn child, I wonder if my beautiful angel looks down on me . It makes me sick to my stomach I fear I will never get over this.September 8, 2005 at 7:23 am #9210Kit
How horrible for your ex to do that to you! I am so sorry that you had to go through such a hard experience. If I had been in your situation of abuse and fear I don’t know what I would have done. I have never personally had to deal with the pain of an abortion but I know women who have. I would reccommend that you talk to Project Rachel or other post abortion counseling to help you to deal with some of the pain and grief from your past experience. God’s love is full of mercy and compassion. I am sure that one day you will get to see your child in heaven and he or she will know that you love them and give you a big hug. I wish I could help to ease the pain, but perhaps talking with women who have gone through similar experiences can help provide some healing.
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