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March 26, 2009 at 11:00 pm #24638nadza
ok so basically i would like sum advice on how to handle a jelous toddler wen the new baby comes, i dont know if my baby girl wil be, but i wana b prepared incase she is…
so how does one handle it, do u shoat them wen they try to do something nawty to the baby? or do you allow them to express wat they feel or find common ground or wat? is being firm n strict the way to go? or ignoring the tantrums that are bound to come? or allowing them to do it? how do u handle the attention seeking tricks that they try to pull on you? id like to hear stories from moms who had jelous kids and how they dealt wit it and wat they did in the heat of the sittuations…. or anyone who has advice on this issue, it would be greatly appreciatedMarch 28, 2009 at 5:22 am #24652myangelsinheaven
For us, we had two sets of back to back babies, and although they love eachother now, we’ve had occasions where they would try and do battle over the ‘throne’, which is mom’s lap. Our first set, didn’t fight quite as much for some reason, because of their temperments maybe. One being a boy and the other a girl, their problem didn’t seem to be about me…it was more about them going through the terrible –whatevers– at the time, which usually was at the same time.:blink:
The set we have now, would stomp on anyone in the way when they wanted my lap. I had to have a c-sect. with our last baby, so my little toddler at home was too heavy to hold on my lap, and I had been away for 4 days. She was ready for mommy time, but it was difficult with my stomach being in staples and the pain, but she cried so much for me, I had to try something. So, I found the biggest chair to nurse the baby, and let the toddler cuddle on the other side. When the baby switched sides to nurse, everyone would change sides. 🙂 They were content. I’d combine that with some reading for the toddler, or I’d have someone in the house bring a snack and a bottle for the toddler so she could be with me during her snack.
As the baby got bigger, she began to be the problem, not the toddler. She would demand that no one be permitted on my lap, and would run to chase off the intruder. That didn’t go well when it was daddy!! No way little missy!!! So, we decided to teach her to share early. We taught her the word ‘nice’, ‘no pushing’, and so on whenever she would try anything….she’d cry louder and try to push the offending sibling off, or kick them real hard….but gradually realized we weren’t going to let her. We’d shake our head no at her, and tell her to ‘be nice’, ‘no pushing’, and if she didn’t go back to nursing quietly or sit nicely then……SHE HAD TO BE REMOVED!!
She would scream and kick while being taken away by dad or an older sibling, but would calm down eventually. Then we’d try it again later.
She got enough of being isolated from the party in the big chair, that now she allows whomever to come join in. She’s learned to rub her sisters hair and pat her back welcoming her in, because she knows what will happen if she isn’t ‘shareful’. :dry:
(as my toddler says)
Good luck!! Your little ones may do just fine. I’ve learned the more they’re together right away, they just get use to always having the other one around.
They tend to develop a stronger bond quicker. The more you seperate them, the more they tend to compete.
Blessings an peace,
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