It should be up to me!

This topic contains 7 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous .

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  • #10193
    kashton2005
    KATHRYN

    HI, I found out a few weeks ago that i was pregnant. Im only 19 but will turn 20 in April and the baby is not due until 31st July! When i told my fiance he was pleased and thinks that its great. I on the other hand am a little confused and scared. When i told my mum she started saying it was my fault i should have been more responsible im not old enough, its not what she wants or what i want, it will ruin my life she hit the roof basically. No one else knows apart from us three and my sister who is 22, i cant even bare to tell my father. I feel like i have let them down and feel very alone. I am having counselling to help me make the right decision. I still dont know what to do! My mum thinks that it would be better if i had an abortion because in a couple of months it would all be forgotten about and i can get on with my life. But i dont agree. I have read that people always end up regretting it, and how can you forget something like that! I dont know what to do, do i keep my baby or do what my mum wants me to do and abort. Please help! 🙁

    #10219
    Kit
    kate Sydik

    Kaston,

    This is a decision that nobody can make for you. It is too bad that your mother is not being supportive, but I’m glad to hear that your fiance is being supportive. I can’t guarantee that your mother or father will be happy about the situation, but you are 19 almost 20 and are legally an adult. This concerns your body and your and your fiance’s baby. If you do not want to have an abortion, please do not anyone guilt or pressure you to do something you do not want and feel you will regret. Listen to your heart. If you and your fiance are not ready for parenthood adoption is always an option as well. If your fiance is happy about the baby and you decide to raise the child my guess is that even though she was not ready to be a grandmother at this time, eventually your mom will warm up a bit when she gets to see her little grandchild. Best Wishes.

    Kate

    #10239
    smilingurl
    Shirell

    darylin you have come to the write sight!!! yes that is the write i am talking about, many girls have problems and wirte to becky or a response for other girls and we help each other, beck is a wonderful lady who i don’t know where half of the expected mom’s would be. please keep god’s precious gift to you and the world. And above i used the write sight. Take a look at the 92 storis that are posted and maybe you will see where i am coming from. I have read all 92 letters, 10 letters a day for 10 days and have learned so much from the sweet girls heart aches, i don’t want you to feel what they have felt, they shared their story so that no one would make the same choice. pleaz read some of the stories, not just sad, but the happy ending ones too. all 8398 members are here for a reason.

    #10242

    Anonymous

    I think you are old enough to make your own decision. Sometime’s you have to stand up for what is right no matter what the out come may be. Is it the right time, probably not. Is there really a right time? Will things be harder with a baby. You bet they will, but that little bundle of joy is worth it in the long run. You have to follow your heart when it’s comes to situations like this and do what is best for you. You are the one that has to live with the decision. It’s easy for others to say the pain will go away in a little while. How do they know have they ever had to make this choice for themselves? My ex wanted me to have an abortion and I elected not to do that. He left when she was two months old. That was 18 years ago. You know what I am a better person today because of it. My situation is a little different than yours,but I just want you to know that you can do it. Keep smiling.

    #10243

    Anonymous

    Kashton,
    I just replied to you but I thought of something else I wanted to tell you.
    My step-daughter is expecting also. She is due in a few weeks. The pregnancy was a quite a shock to everyone. Her situation is a little different then yours. She is 28 yrs old and living out on her own. The father is not taking any responsibility at all. My step-daughters real mother had a really hard time with this. She threatened to disown her if she had the child and said some things that she probably regrets now. She wanted her to abort the child. A couple of weeks ago my step-daughter moved back in with her mother to have family support through the end of her pregnancy and birth of her daughter. Her mother is going to help raise this child. My point is sometimes people say things when they are shocked and upset and they regret it later.
    Hopefully, this will be the case with you.
    God bless you. I know how difficult this is for you, from the above situation.
    Hang in there.
    Happy Grandma

    #10291
    LoveBBOA
    Trisha McCloskey

    This sounds all to familiar. I was 16 when I got pregnant. My mom told me my life was over, asked how I could be so "stupid," and told me it was my fault and I had to live with it. My dad and step-mother wanted me to get an abortion or give my son up for adoption. WELL, lets just say I didn’t do any of that. I am now 24 and my son is 7. My life isn’t over and my parents love my son to death. I got married to a man I have been with for 4 years in july of 2005. I am in my second year of college and graduate in November. So obviously my life was not over. Parents lash out in anger because they want the best for us. You need to do what you want to do and remember that in time they will come to accept it. My parents did. I wish you all the happiness in the world and my heart goes out to you. I know BELIEVE me I know its never something you want to hear from your parents but like you, they need time to soak it all in. It will all be better soon.

    #10296
    Jonluver
    Monica Rae

    Please don’t have an abortion. I know excatly what you are going through.
    The first time i got pregnant i was only 17 and still in high school. I freaked out!! When my mom found out she flipped out and told me i was going to have an abortion. i fought with her everyday about. Well i ended up having a miscarriage. It was the worst this i have ever gone through.
    I’m 19 now and 9 months pregnant! Due an day. When my mom first found out she flipped out again. I was so scared of my family. I wouldn’t go anywhere that anyone in my family was. I thought they were gonna hate me.
    i was sooo scared!! They didn’t react as bad as i thought they would. Actually my sister was the worst. She ignored me and we ended up getting into a huge fight. I spent a lot of nights crying about it. But now my sister and i are closer then we have ever been.
    I can’t even begin to describe to you how i feel whenever she moves (it’s a girl by the way). It’s so amazing!! I can’t love her so much!! And the first time i saw her on the u/s was soooo wonderful. I started crying! I can’t wait to see her and hold her.
    I’m not saying that it will be easy. i had horrible morning sickness. i was hospitalized twice because of it. I was put on bedrest early in my pregnancy for bleeding (for a month). Then at 26 weeks i went into preterm labor. i was again but on bedrest and meds. My fiancee has to pay ALL the bills!!
    But it’s all worth it!!
    Hopefully this weekend i will get to met my precious baby girl!!

    #10323

    Anonymous

    if you are 100% sure this baby is what you want no one will be able to change your mind.

    My family all tried to make me give up my baby, i was 19 and just engaged.

    Now i am 21 with a 21 month old. not married yet.. and the family adore my baby. they live everyday with guilt of the things they have said to me. And every day i am inspried to help young mums make their own choices…

    No matter what they say, you are the one that will wake up for the rest of your life with this child, you will love it weather it is born or not.

    Take charge and stand up for your child. If you want this child, you will not let anyone change your mind.

    Would you jump off a clif if they nagged you?

    Stay strong and stand proud. You will do fine.

    9 months later, when the baby is born, everyone will sing a different tune.. trust me.

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