Is it wrong

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  • #16678
    Avatarbaby_blu_bird

    I never want kids. Its sounds mean and cruel but hear me out

    I’m 14 and I have two older sisters who both have kids, 6 of them to be exact. When I was 6 years old my father died so my oldest sister got pregnant (apparently she felt lonely or something) two years later she had her second baby so at that stage she was 20 with a baby boy and baby girl. It wasn’t too bad considering she had moved out as soon as baby number one was born.

    But then my other sister also fell pregnant, she was only 15 years old (I was 9) and pregnant with twin boys, a year later she had another baby a little girl with the same guy except this time as soon as he found out she was pregnant a second time he left for ever. Two years after that she had, yes, ANOTHER baby girl.

    Now shes 20 with four kids and living at home. There are enough bed rooms five in total so its not super cramped but its not so great.

    I’m just sick of babies waking me up at night, stinky nappies, toys and junk ever where and even more pretty much never having my own privacy.

    My sister says that she wants even more kids in the future!! she said as soon as the youngest is 10yrs old she would love to have more kids. She’s had four and they have effected her a million more times then me and they have only made her want more but made me never want a kid.

    I know you might think that I will change my mind when I’m older but I seriously don’t think I will if I fall pregnant I want to give them for adoption.

    I feel mean and cruel…

    What do you all think? am i just being selfish?

    #16693
    AvatarKeshia104

    I don’t think your being selfish! Trust me, when I was 14 I swore and declared that I was never having children. For you it must be hard to live in a house with lots of babies and trying to get on with your own life as a 14 year old.

    Just because you don’t want children, doesn’t make you mean. cruel or even selfish! Not even the slightest.

    #16695
    Avatarmomma_of_isa

    Well…it does sind cruel and selfish, but it is understandable from what you had to say. You are only 14 and so am I. I am pregnant with a little girl, and believe me, before this I had it all planned out. Family and everything at the age of 25, but it just happend. If you do fall pregnant, I think it will be a whole different situation for you, it is not like this baby will be another one of your sisters babies, but your own flesh and blood. I would find it very hard to go through the whole 9 months of pregnancy, getting so attached with the fact that you are having your own child, i do think you could change your mind then. I actually do hope you change your mind then and dont give up for adoption if the only reason is because your sisters kids get on your nerves! This baby will be your own… you will see! Me being pregnant, even at such a young age, I am ready for what mistake i have made…i would never ever give my little girl up for adoption, EVER! I do think you could change mind once you are pregnant with your own…

    #16698
    Avatargoodluckyall

    Considering you’ve had to share your mom and your home with your nieces and nephews since such a young age, it’s not surprising that you’d feel the way you do. You’re not selfish or mean at all. Your feelings are your own and you’ve a right to them… you may feel differently in the future about having your own kids compared to your feelings about someone else’s, and you have a right to change your mind at a later time. Don’t worry so much about it now. Just enjoy being young and childless!

    #16717
    AvatarRonnieBo

    I dont think its cruel.If you dont thnk you can candle children then you should give them up for adoption.It is hard taking care of children and it is better to give the children to someone who can take better care of them and is ready to take care of a child.Besides it better than an abortion.

    #16721
    Avatarericklirios

    Hi!

    No, I don’t really think you’re being all that selfish. We can’t really love others if we don’t love ourselves first.

    It’s actually fortunate for you that you’ve been exposed to all this already. That way, you know what you’d be getting into if you get involved in sex very early. I think that’s the real problem surrounding you. It’s not the babies really but the sex that your sisters got involved in very early in their lives. Having babies is a wonderful but difficult thing. It gets even more difficult if a person gets into it much too early.

    Many people here say that babies are a blessing and yes, they are, definitely but one must respect babies enough not to just get into the brithing process without having prepared for it. Yes, young women will eventually cope with their pregnancies but wouldn’t you much rather be the young girl that you really are instead of having to care about diapers, formula, baby clothes, etc?

    What I suggest is that you go through your life like a little girl and not to try and be too mature too early by having sex early in the game. That just muddles up the situation. If you do allow a boyfriend that privilege, you then become somewhat unsure whether he’s staying with you for the free sex or for you. Keep it clean, keep it simple.

    If God blesses you with children, then that’s something you should really embrace — in the right time. Eventually, all the people who say that all they want from life is a career, success and no babies because of this and that reason will find themselves around 60-70 years old, alone and without people who could love them the way only children can. When my dad died at 72 years old, I was there with my two sisters and my mom. His friends who would’ve wanted to be there weren’t because they had their own families. What would’ve happened to the man who was my father if he didn’t have children? He would’ve died alone without anyone praying by his side, singing to him as he expired.

    I love my father so much and I am so blessed to have my mother still around.

    I think you’d eventually feel your life complete only when you’ve left a good brood of children behind who have been well taken care of by two parents who have showered them by love, understanding and sincerity.

    Please take care of yourself.

    Erick

    #16725
    Avatarkez_mummy_2_skye

    I dont think you are being selfish. I think it would be cruel if you were to get pregnant and then neglect a baby you dont want but if thats what u want its your choice.
    You’ve probably heard it all b4 but you are still young and when u get to ur mid 20’s late 20’s you might find a great man and decide to have a family with him. So never say never!

    #16736
    AvatarMeg11

    I dont think you are cruel or selfish….I used to feel the same way about my sister and her kids…I would be on th ecouch watching tv in the morning and her kids would be eating chips out of the bag and making a mess and she would be in bed….my nephew used to pee in the mop bucket and it was gross….my neice used to steal my stuff and hide things….I love my sister very much and she has changed over the years…when I look back it wasnt that I didnt ever want kids I just had the fear of being a bad mom…her kids are not and were not bad kids they just needed guidance and dicipline…she needed to clean up after them and get out of bed and give them breakfast….when I finally had my daughter I related to her alot more…kids are tough..they need constant supervision, freequent meals, they need to be cleaned up alot, have their hands washed, they need rules and consequences for not following them…..I learned the hard way but kids need two parents (it is possible to do it alone I did for 4 1/2 yrs) from the sounds of it your sisters have had premarital sex and your family has been left to deal with their consequences….praise God that you can see the challenges they go through…let this example in front of you "scare" you into not having sex untill you are married….If you are married one day and get pregnant I know your heart will be more willing to keep the baby instead of adopting (plus your husband and his family wouldnt be too happy about adoption LOL) I try my hardest to keep my kids in line…when we go out to dinner with all 3 kids we usually end up having a couple people come up to us and tell us "Your kids are so well behaved…." it takes alot of hard work but not everyones kids are a nightmare…I teach my kids to say excuse me if they need to say something…they are not allowed to interrupt an adult conversation….they go to the corner for not listening..they pick up their toys when asked…they say please and thank you…etc.etc. when you are married and decide to try it out and have a child or 2 or 3 or 4 LOL Raise that child to be respectful of other peoples things and to use good behavior dont let them be a nuisance…my kids are happy and they have alot of fun…but every where we go people are amazed at how they listen and obey…..dont let someones lack of parenting and responsibility steal away the joy you can receive from a baby one day……Meg

    #16738
    Avatarsomebody2love

    No, you’re not being selfish. The thing is that you’re only 14 (like me) and you are just sick and tired of children right now. Ther’es absolutely nothing wrong with that. You just have to be careful where your thoughts take you. Don’t hate the children just because they cry and make dirty diapers…that is definitely not the right thing to do. Just love them like a dutiful Aunt should, and that will be just fine for now.

    Now, in regards to children, if you don’t want kids, don’t get pregnant! It’s simple as that…[] better yet…don’t have sex until you are married/ready for a child.

    I wish you luck, dear.

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