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April 20, 2009 at 4:13 am #24876ck8956
I’m a 26 year old professional female, I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over 6 years now. I own my own home and we both have pretty good jobs but we don’t have much money left over at the end of the month after paying bills.
My boyfriend is 30 and has always really wanted kids. I used to think I did but the last year or so I’ve thought that maybe I really didn’t ever want kids. I have 9 nephews/nieces, and then his 2 nephews. I love them all to death and have had my fair share of babysitting. I love holding babies and playing with kids – and then sending them back to mom and dad. I just didn’t think I’d ever be ready to give up my own life for a kid.
I was told that I’d probably have fertility problems due to hypothyroidism. We haven’t used any protection in 4 years and I really didn’t think we’d get pregnant. Then one day I just felt the need to take a pregnancy test and sure enough, I was pregnant. And I freaked. My boyfriend didn’t freak a bit, he’s just been excited about it and can’t wait. After the initial freak-out, I did have a brief moment of excitement but now, all I feel is dread. Not a day goes by that I don’t dread what my life is about to come. And then I get so mad at myself for being irresponsible enough to get into a situation that I can’t handle or don’t want. I’ve always said I was against abortion but then I found myself considering it. The only thing I would’ve been okay with was the abortion pill because everything else seems so much more violent and awful. But I’m past the time I can do the abortion pill. I had some major cramping and bleeding early on and deep down, was hoping that I’d miscarry and not have to face this.
I keep hoping that as the pregnancy continues, the maternal instinct will kick in and I’ll be happy about this. But what if it never changes? I don’t think my family and friends will understand if I give the baby up for adoption. I’d like to think those that truly love me would support me no matter what my decision but I think it would seriously strain those relationships.
I’ve tried talking to my boyfriend about it and he obviously wants the baby but he would support whatever I feel I need to do.
I just hate that everyday I consider awful things like hoping I miscarry or considering abortion. If the pregnancy does progress and I have this baby, how will I look him/her in the eye and live with myself knowing that I considered killing him/her? And that I hoped something would happen and I’d love him/her? I feel like I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
I feel so scared and alone.April 22, 2009 at 6:36 pm #24902Anonymous
First of all, hun, you have to know that it is perfectly normal to feel like this.
I honestly think that an abortion would be the worst thing you could do. You would never forget it and you would always regret it.
As far as adoption goes, you should do what’s best for you and the baby regardless of what your family thinks. It would be hard, but putting up with some cold shoulders for your choice to give your baby life will be totally worth it.
If you decide to keep your baby, you don’t need to feel guilty about considering abortion. It is normal for a single mom to think about it. It’s what you do with those thoughts that matter.
I really hope that you make the right decision for you and your baby. I know that it’s really scary and nerve wracking, but I hope that you start feeling better soon!
Hugs!April 23, 2009 at 3:56 am #24912myangelsinheaven
You will never be damned if you give your baby life……You will be blessed forever with an angel that God has blessed you and your boyfriend of 6 yrs with. He has found you worthy of giving life to his angel!! A reward for your love and commitment to your boyfriend. Whether doctors thought it was possible or not, God has performed a miracle inside your young body and your baby is warm and safe inside. Safe from the ugliness and evil inclinations of the world.
Your boyfriend is rejoicing in the news of his baby, what a blessing for you!! You are so lucky to have his support and love. I can’t seem to understand why there’s no wedding as of yet.;) 6 yrs. is quite a long time to be dating, but for whatever reason it seems that you two are meant to be together. God has seen that himself. Otherwise it wouldn’t have lasted this time. Now God is asking you to step up to his call for you. Yes it will mean some changes in your life, but your life will still be yours and what you make of it with this little one right along side of you. Trying to run or hide and not face this decision that is before you is no way to live. It can be overwhelming, but fear does not have to dominate your mind to the point of killing your baby. Will that end the fear or loneliness for you? Do you feel that you will be able to go back to your job and not think twice about what had happened, should you choose to abort this baby?
You feel that your family would be saddened at the loss of your child to adoption? Abortion is a cruel alternative for those who are afraid to accept the responsibility for their choices…….it is never justified by any excuse!! DO NOT BE FOOLED, THERE IS NO GENTLER WAY OF ABORTING YOUR BABY!!!! THEY ALL WILL CAUSE PAIN AND DEATH TO THAT INNOCENT CHILD. Whoever has told you that one form of abortion is not as cruel, is grossly misguiding you. You will be the one left to live with the knowledge that this decision was in your hands….you are of an intellegent age of maturity above most young teens, you have the knowledge of looking into resources, literature, videos, and the ability to educate yourself. As a professional female of 26 yrs. educate yourself as to what you would be doing to your baby……..and then walk away from that evil and never look back.
I will quote you, ” I just didn’t think I’d ever be ready to give up my own life for a kid.”
Isn’t it ironic, that the One that loves you more than anyone you know, the One that created you, …..gave up his only Son, by his death on the Cross, so that YOU might be saved from sin and have eternal life in heaven with Him.
Say NO to this death……and Yes to your baby’s life, and your eternal life.
No one will damn you for that!!!!
Please keep in touch, I will pray for your baby.
May God bless you with strength and the grace needed to feel at peace.
myangelsinheavenMay 10, 2009 at 4:57 am #25068jessey223
Truth of the matter is most of the girls and women on this site have at least had abortion cross their mind. That doesn’t make you a bad person. I had my daughter at 18 and considered abortion and didn’t do it and now I feel that was the best decision of my life. Most mommies to be also worry at some point what this is going to mean to their life going forward. Motherhood is not something anyone can prepare you for, it is trying at times but at the end of the day it’s the best! Think of all of the people you know have you ever met one person that said they hate being a parent (other then when their child is having a complete meltdown 🙂 )? Maybe you have but I was just thinking about it and I don’t know one person. I am 24 and I myself the other day was thinking about what would happen if I have another baby and began to think how it would change my life as it is now and I already have a 6 year old. Point is this is totally normal it’s the unknown. Best of luck and I am here if you ever need to chat. Jessica
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