in need of serious help!!

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  • #11120

    Anonymous

    im 17 years old and found out two days ago im 6 weeks pregnant. ive been with my boyfriend of 6 months and he wants me to have an abortion. were both still at school and i know deep down that were not mature enough to raise a child. i havent told my parents as i know their be disapointed in me and if im having an abortion then i dont see the point in worrying them.
    but the problem is, im not sure if i myself want to have an abortion or im doing it because my boyfriend wants me to. he said he will support me whatever i decide but im not sure if thats true or not. ive always wanted to have kids young, hadnt planned on it being this young but things do happen. he wants to have kids when hes older so his family can b happy about it. but not everythings easy and works out the way you want it to. i dont want to run away from my mistakes.
    plz write back if u have any advice for me because im still in a state of shock and cant think striaght. i just need some advice from someone that doesnt know me or the father.
    xxxxxx

    #11122
    Kit
    kate Sydik

    If you don’t want to have an abortion, don’t let your boyfriend or anyone else pressure you into doing something you might regret later. Also don’t make a hasty decision to have an abortion out of fear of your parents or others reactions. Your parents most likely will be upset and disappointed at least at first, but they might surprise you and be more supportive than you might guess. Abortion may seem like a quick and easy solution that will make the problem go away, but it is much more complicated than that.

    I remember what it was like to be a teenager who thought she might be pregnant and was terrified (luckily in my case at that time it was just a pregnancy scare). I will admit that the thought of abortion did cross my mind, but I don’t think I would/could have gone through with an abortion. Before you choose to have an abortion I would research into the development of the fetus – It is pretty amazing how advanced babies are, even in early pregnancy. Also I would read the stories on this site from girls who are dealing with the pain, regret, guilt and grief of past abortions.

    Parenthood is a big step and a big responsibility and pregnancy is not easy even with a supportive husband. If you feel that raising a child at this point in your life would not be best for you and/or the baby, then adoption is a good option. There are many couples out there who would love to adopt a baby and will provide a good home. If you choose perhaps you could even arrange an open adoption so you could keep in contact with the baby.

    I hope that you consider giving life to the baby. Contact the help lines on this site or your local Birthright or crisis pregnancy center and they may be able to help you with resources, advice and perhaps even financially. Best Wishes.

    Kate

    #11125

    Anonymous

    hi, first off, i have to say congratulations on your pregancy. although not planned. it’s always a blessing to have a baby. let me tell you a littl about myself. I’m 19 years old. i was pregnant when i turned 16. Of course alot of things were going through my mind when i found out, but abortion wasn’t one of them. Yeah, i thought about abortion, not because i wanted to do it, but because i knew that it was the easy way out for me, but you know what, maybe yeah you can have an abortion, and forget about it like it never happened, no one has to know, not your family, not his family, not your friends, hell, not anyone, but you know what, GOD WILL KNOW, BECAUSE YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM GOD, YOU CAN HIDE FROM EVERYONE ELSE, BUT WHO CARES? BECAUSE HE’S THE ONE THAT WILL KNOW, and i don’t know if you believe in God, but i do, and that’s what i told myself everyday, when i had to hide that i was pregnant for everyone, when i felt that i couldn’t take it anymore, when i cried at night, and it helped me. It was hard to carry this burden, like i’m sure it is for you. But trust me, abortion is not the way out. And lets be realistic here, you and your boyfriend decided to have sex, guessing without protection, it’s like saying, oh i don’t care if i’m pregnant or not. YOU decided that you were going to have unprotected sex, and therefore you should’ve known you were going to come out possibly pregnant. it’s not the babies fault that you two decided to bring it unplanned. Go with your intuition, if you have ANY doubt, than don’t do it. It’s easy for your boyfriend to say to have an abortion, but it’s YOU that is going to have the baby not him! I have friends that would love to have a baby, but they can’t and it makes me mad that girls have abortions, when so many women desire that wish so much. I know where your coming from, but abortion won’t do it, if you want, put it in adoption, but BELIEVE ME, you’ll get attached to your baby those 9 months, it’s beautiful to have a little human being inside you, and that baby depends on you, it has feelings you know. i’m sure that it’s going to be hard to tell everyone about your pregnancy, but those are the consquences for YOUR ACTIONs and your boyfriend also. i had my baby when i was 17, and i had to face critiscm from everyone. But if i had had an abortion, oh how would i have regretted it. I would’ve missed out on alot, my son is the best, he loves me and i love him, he’s my little buddy, and let me tell you he’s oh so handsome and sweet, and it feels good when he calls me mami. Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t want a baby right now, but when you do have the baby, it will move him in so many ways, and maybe your family can help out or his also, [b]there’s always light after the storm,
    and your case isn’t any different. Keep your head up high and listen to yourself, your intuition and your instinct, don’t choose the easy way out, keep your head high, and confront what you started, no matter how hard it seems, no matter how much adversity or negativity, keep thinking for your baby. And whenever you go to a store, go to the baby department, and i want you to see the stuff they have, the little baby clothes, accessories, cradles, so you can see what it is the joy of being a mother!! Email me, please. let me know what happens!

    #11129

    Anonymous

    [color=#800080]Congradulations!

    If your boyfriend truly loves you and cares about you, he will stay with you if you decide to keep the baby.

    Having a baby can be the most wonderful experience but its a lot of work. I know a lot of teen mums and they love being a mum.

    I havent had a baby myself but my sister had a baby when she was 18. She fell pregnant on her birthday.

    The only person that can decide if you are going to have an abortion is you. But having an abortion can be really hard and you must make sure its your decision and not your boyfriend.

    I reccomend that you go and see a counsellor if you decide to go through the abortion or if you decide to keep it.

    Let me know what happens, contact me!

    Elizabeth

    #11132

    Anonymous

    Dear Suzy. trust me I understand what you are going through. It may seem scary now but with prayer it gets better. Take time before you make your decision. everything happens for a reason. Aparrently God thinks you will be a good mom and he gave you this child for a reason. The scars from abortion are hard to heal. Ellen

    #11134

    Anonymous

    hi, im 16, i no wot ur goin thru my bf was the same when i found out and wen i told my family yes they were dissapointed and my dad went crazy, but they got used to it, then wen i was 10weeks pregnant things wer lookin up, my bf wantd to keep it and my family had calmed down,i went for my first scan,that was when i found out i had had a silent miscarrage(when the baby dies but you get no symptoms of miscarrage) things havent been the same,i still miss my baby and grieve for it,but please i want u to realise that you have been given a very special miricle, love your baby as it already loves you and depends on you for evrything at the moment, it will be hard but if any of the girls on this site can do it, so can you,even if you choose adoption its still choosing life, just be strong and don’t let anyone tell you what to do when it concerns your child. i hope you make the right decision,good luck and i wish you all the best for the future, sophie xxx

    #11136

    Anonymous

    hiya im pregnant and ive miscarried once b4 i stilll think bout it 2 and cry myself 2 sleep sumtimes the onli thing is i onli told my closest m8 that i woz pregnant when i miscarried , im 15 my bf will stand by me but my mum and dad will hate me my dad will wanna kill my bf i want to have this baby as i know i wnat kids and this mite b my onli chance 2 hav 1 hope everything goes ok 4 u luv loz xxx

    #11137

    Anonymous

    Let me just tell you that the emotional scars from having an abortion are going to last you a lifetime and the unforgivness that you feel for killing your baby is horrible.
    The joys of a baby and there whole life is worth all the struggle.
    Childeren are a gift and you are to treat them as such,
    God doesn’t make mistakes, THis life is breathed by GOD and you are his tool in which he is using to manifest this child on earth.
    You aRe to love and care for this baby I promise that you won’t regret it…
    let me know how you decide. I’m here to pray for you and there are so many resoureces,,,, TALK TO YOUR MOM>>>> she loves you and will understand cause you are her child…..

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