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April 23, 2008 at 3:43 pm #21019cheried
So two days go i have found out that im pregnant, im 18 years old and finished with school, currently working with web design.
My boyfriend always told me that if i get pregnant that we will keep it. now it seems as though he has changed his mind . i have booked to have an abortion on saturday. i really dont wanna do this but when im alone at night i feel i cant go through with this.
my parents dont know, i guess guys just dont know what it is like to carry a child and have to kill it, i wish there was some way to show them the pain and guilt we have to go through.
Should i go through with this abortion? i really dont want to but it feels that i really dont have a choice in the matter 🙁 🙁April 23, 2008 at 7:16 pm #21020Meg11
Hey there my name is Meg. I came across your post and my heart is just breaking for you. It is hard to find out you are pregnant and have all this stuff on your shoulders at the same time but if I can offer you any encouragement at all it would be that you need to make choices and decisions based on you and your future and not based on what others expect of you or think that you should do. it is never a good thing to base a decision on fear. You are hearing that still small voice in your head at night telling you that you know that you do not want to do this. Maybe that still small voice is coming from your womb? You are a legal adult, you have already accomplished so much like finishing school and pursuing your goals as a web designer, you are not a child who is helpless and incapable of carrying this life. I know that if you work hard you can do this, you still have 9 more months of preparation, you can double up classes or use this time that your baby is still developing to prepare for when he/she comes into the world. Many people make it through high school and college with babies. If your boyfriend is not man enough to Stand Up then that just means you will have even more help. It is not ideal to have a baby and get all kinds of assistance from the government but this just happened, its not like you planned for this, that is what the help is for, for people who end up between a rock and a hard spot. You do not have to go through with this abortion and you will never regret keeping your baby, I never have. If nothing else there is always adoption. What I am trying to say is that abortion may seem like a quick fix but in the long run you will carry that dead baby with you all your life. You will wonder what he/she would have looked like, you will see others with their babies and watch their kids grow and yours will still be dead and you will never see that first step or hear that first word "mommy". Will being a mom in college be easy? Not always but you will still have the reward of seeing baby smile at you and cling to you when things are too much. There is a reason why this little gift has been placed in your womb, we can often get caught up in thinking that our baby is a mistake, or that baby is a punishment for not being careful but every good and perfect gift comes from God. A baby can be a burden or a blessing it is up to you. Someone can walk up and give you 100$ bill and you can use it wisely and appreciate it or you can blow it on a bunch of junk and have nothing to show for it but regret. A baby is much more precious and valuable and life changing than any amount of monetary blessing. You can do this and do it well, cancel the appointment listen to your heart and that still small voice. Your boyfriend and your parents might freak but you know what? We have all had someone freak out onus but in the end you will have to fight the baby out of their arms just to take a turn yourself. They will come around and they have 9 whole months to get over it and start getting excited to meet this wonderful blessing. No matter what your boyfriend says this is YOUR baby, he is only half way responsible so don’t let him be fully in charge of the decision that will affect the rest of YOUR life. Plus being a web designer means you can do a lot from home if you have internet, where do you think I am sitting? I am not a web designer but kids have not prevented me from fulfilling my passion of reaching out to girls just like myself who are pregnant and don’t know what to do, I was there, I know it can be scary but I also know the mysterious and life changing love that a child can bring into your life, just when you need it most. All this to say, please don’t do it. Research your options more completely, call this number, Optionline 1-800-395-HELP, they can give you the number and location to the closest Pregnancy Resource Center to you where you can confirm your pregnancy, get a FREE ultrasound and also talk with someone who is very educated in parenting, adoption and abortion. They can counsel you and help you decide what the best option is for YOU and your situation. I really hope this hits the nail on the head and that you can see through your cloud of fear and uncertainty, please write to me if you need a shoulder or would like to know more about the resources available to pregnant women, I found many many helpful hints along the way. I am here for you along with many others, you are not alone, Love Meg, firstname.lastname@example.orgApril 23, 2008 at 7:50 pm #21021Anonymous
Keep your baby honey, believe me it will be the best thing you’ve ever done. You have no idea what kind of light your own child can bring you and you don’t have to have the father in your life to experience that. Please don’t feel alone! Not only do you have tons of girls that will back you on this site, you also have a wonderful new life growing within you! Get excited!April 23, 2008 at 10:14 pm #21022slbabe8
Hi, I just wanted to say I’m sorry that you are going through this alone.Even if your boyfriend has made up his mind about not keeping this baby- if you want to, you should sit down and discuss your feelings about it.Let him know that you don’t want the abortion, and if he still is not supportive of having the baby than think about what you can do about raising the baby alone.If you truly don’t want the abortion than don’t do it.Trust me, there are SO many young girls who’ve had babies wihtout the support of the baby’s father.You can do it without him if you really want to keep this baby. I believe everyone has the right to decide for themselves what is right for them.Also, try telling your parents..if your boyfriend isn’t going to do this with you than maybe your parents will help you.If your scared to tell them..don’t worry they might surprise you by being a great support team.I hope everything works out okay and if you need to talk I’d be happy to try and help anyway I can.Good luck! xoxoApril 23, 2008 at 10:49 pm #21023Anonymous
you asked ‘should i go through with this abortion?’ & my answer to that would be NO! this baby is a part of you, your flesh & blood. you say you dont want to do it so dont! you would regret it if you did want to do it so considering you dont just imagine how hard this is going to be. its your body & its your baby & no-one has the right to tell you what to do with it. your boyfriend is totally in the wrong for telling you to get rid of it, at the end of he day if he didnt want a baby then he shouldnt of gotten you pregnant, & the fact that before this he had told you he would be supportive if this happened is bang out of order! being a mum is always a challenge & it would be even more of a challenge if your boyfriend doesnt grow up & take responsibility for his actions but you could do it. you sound like you want this child, you have a little person growing inside you & its precious! please please just think about this before you do anything harsh! even if you cancel it & then rebook it a few weeks down the line, just give yourself a chance to think about this. you only just found out, i think you need more time! good luck whatever.April 24, 2008 at 8:38 am #21026alexanders_mama
I would let your baby live if you know what I mean.
Wow! You made a life! That is so…amazing….I know it may not sound real to you right now, but that baby is going to be the best thing that ever happens to you….
Just read the accounts of the girls who’ve had abortions, and read the ones who chose to give birth….and decide which ones seem happier for yourself.
Right now IS hard. But if you get an abortion, tomorrow is just going to be harder; and will have to live with the fact that you destroyed that life inside of yuo that if you really think about it, is such a miracle.
Hope all goes well!
xxApril 24, 2008 at 11:14 am #21028cheried
thanks so so much for everyone that gave me advice it has really made me think,
last night i spoke to my boyfriend i was at his house at the time and he said to me we should keep it. i got a feeling that it was all going to be okay.
when i got home he called me and said his mom and him had a huge fight and she said im not allowed in their house anymore. i dont know if anyone has had this but you treat your bf parents with such respect and you get treated so horribly in return.
then he started with the doubts where we cant have this child because of his mom. it like he trying to play mind games with me.
he also said he had told one of his friends and that friend said if we know what is best for us i will go through with the abortion. my bf keeps telling me that we have plenty time for kids and because im so early still it wont matter if i abort it.:dry:May 5, 2008 at 2:45 am #21147Kandace.
My heart like meagens is also breaking for you. But listen babe, you DO have a choice it is your baby. It can be hard on us mothers to raise a child but there is alot of other options then killing it. like i said its you baby not mine so you have to make the choice nobody can make it for you, do what your heart telles you to do. Please keep the baby, oyu wont regret iit. =).:)
You may have time for kids in the future but its your boyfriends and your own responsibility to raise this kid.
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