i’m only 13…..please help.

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  • #24333
    Avatarjessicajackson

    i’m only 13 years old,and i’ve already lost my virginity,to my 15 year old boyfriend of nearly half a year.my parents forbid our relationship,because he’s 2 years older than me,so we see eachother in secret.last friday(27th february),we had unprotected sex about 4 times during the night,only lasting about 10 minutes each time.i’m not due on for a couple of weeks,but if i am pregnant,there’s no way i could tell my parents,i couldn’t keep it either,how could i abort it without my parents even finding out?

    #24338
    Avatarjessey223

    Jessica…..you are in some dilemma. Well I would strongly suggest not having unprotected sex unless your ready to have a baby. Both having an abortion and having a child are difficult things to go thru. And if you are pregnant I don’t know how or if your going to be able to not tell your parents and have the abortion. Someone has to drive you there and it is going to be painful emotionally and physically and they have to put you under anesthesia and then someone has to drive you home. Not to mention when you go home you are going to still be very groggy and not feeling well. You are only 13 and making these choice can severely change you physically and mentally no matter what decision you make so I would highly suggest you try your very best to avoid getting yourself in this situation again, by that I mean unprotected sex. I really don’t want to come off as mean or telling you what to do but I have been in your shoes and I know how alone and confused you are right now. I am here anytime to talk. I wish you the very best. Jessica

    #24340
    AvatarMeg11

    Hey there, my name is Meg and I wanted to discuss your situation a bit…you and I have something in common and that is losing our virginity at 13, I am 27 now and I can tell you from painful experience that you may be heading down a wrong path…I too had a boyfriend that my parents did not want me to be with, I went behind their backs and had sex with him, he was older than me too…my dad sent me to live with my mom and I started doing drugs and ended up moving in with my aunt and sleeping with more boys, got kicked out, went to live with my other aunt, slept around more, did more drugs and ran away, by this time I was having sex with boys even when I didn’t want to and didn’t realize it was rape , it was not violent but I said no and they didn’t listen….I would love to send you my story, it is much too long to post on here, I am actually almost done with writing my book about my past of being promiscuous and I am willing to have you read it if you want to and hopefully you will see that you are ultimately going to hurt yourself and the ones you love if you head down this path….there have been girls who have had abortions without their parents knowing, some of those girls have died due to complications that their parents did not know to watch out for, the parents only found out their daughter had been pregnant and had an abortion after autopsy, they had wished their daughter would have talked to them….the truth is that there are places to find an abortion and they will do what they can to help you keep it from your parents, however it is illegal, most states the legal age of consent is 16, some 14 but I am yet to know of any state where it is legal for you to consent to have sex legally, do you want to put your life in the hands of someone who would lie about your age on legal binding documents in order to legally murder your child, then if there are complications due to the surgery let you die rather than contact your parents or the emergency room? I would not trust someone like that with my life and the sad thing is other have and they are not here to warn you…there is also the truth that some abortions are “successful” even though to use abortion and successful in the same sentence makes me sick but then you will live with the secret shame and depression like you will read about in many of the stories on here, please, no matter how much you think they will be mad at you you need to talk to your parents, they do love you, its not that they don’t want you to be loved by him, it is not that they don’t want you to have fun, it is just that they love you so much and they have been though their teen years and probably have friends with stories like mine and they have seen the hardships faced by these kinds of choices…please let them love you, feel loved that they care for your future, if this guy loves you he will wait until you are old enough to be with him, please…take some time to really think about what is important, if you end up pregnant and get an abortion you may never have that chance to be a mom ever again, 13 is young, you have your whole life ahead of you, that is a long time to live with regret…please email me at meg@standupgirl.com or go to my profile page and email me through the site and I will send you the rough draft of my story to see where the road you are on will take you…Love Meg

    #24347
    Avatarjessicajackson

    hello meg,thankyou for your comment,it has helped alot,and we do have alot in common.if i did have to have an abortion,if the worst happens,could i take a pill that would stop the pregnancy,or would the doctors or the clinic keep a record of it and tell my parents?and how much would it cost?please comment me back.

    #24349
    AvatarMeg11

    You are very welcome, I am glad you brought up the abortion pill, it is actually just as dangerous and it has caused death also, not to mention that it causes the death of the baby, listen to those words, causes the death of the baby….that is a human life, what would you think of a person who gave birth to a healthy happy child and then moments after birth she reaches down for the baby and cuts it into pieces and throws it into a garbage? What would you think of a woman who gives birth and immediately smothers the baby to keep it from breathing, or dumps a flesh eating acid solution over the baby to kill it? That is wrong and how a woman could watch that much less be the one to do it baffles my mind and she would be sent to prison for murder, what is the difference in where the baby is located? Is it somehow acceptable to cut a baby up, or suffocate the baby, or burn it alive with chemicals while it is inside a woman’s body with no legal consequences but yet you take the baby out of the “safety” of the womb and it becomes a heinous, disgusting, unthinkable act that demands prison time? The mother is called a monster and a psychopath for what she has done…just because abortion is legal does not make it ok…just because alcohol is legal does not mean that it is ok to get super drunk and drive around and cause life taking accidents…In my opinion there is not much worse in the world than a child rapist/murderer….here is someone who takes this child and violates them in the worst way possible and then takes that precious life, I have seen pictures of murdered children who were mutilated by child molesters, these poor little girls were so weak and defenseless and their bodies left bruised, bleeding and lifeless in a sleeping bag behind a dumpster, it makes a person want to throw up, how is abortion any less disgusting? Just because they use a red bio hazard bag and a “sterile” medical room, just because they have permission by the law to use that dumpster for disposal, just because the mother gave permission does it somehow erase the fact that this is a human life? That little girl who could someday have those bouncy little piggy tails on her head, the little boy you see in the sand box with a toy truck making sound effects as he drives it? They all started out in that deep secret place in a woman’s body…the place that is supposed to be safe…we all started out as a little speck, we looked like sea monkeys, our little arms and legs were just bumps on the side of an odd shaped “blob” of life, you know what though, before the arms and legs are even full developed, we had a brain, we had a steady and consistent heart beat with a fully developed circulatory system, we had a spinal cord that was in perfect line from our nub of a head to the lower back and even though a person can not tell the distinct portions of the body yet the body itself knows the boundaries in which to develop, you do not even know if you are pregnant yet and you are so willing to take this life into your own hands, you are willing to commit legal murder at 13 years old…I want you to read this story, it was written by a friend of mine,

    https://standupgirl.com/web//index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1967&Itemid=224

    https://standupgirl.com/web//index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2145&Itemid=224

    as for the “clinic” keeping record they probably wont because it is illegal for them to not report your boyfriend to the police because you are under the age of consent, but like I mentioned are these the kind of people who’s hands you want to put your life into? They do not care about you or your life or your baby or your relationship with your parents, they just want that federal funding and the paycheck….you will be just another number to them, another faked birthday, please call this number, 1-800-395-HELP, this is a place where you can get the number and location of the closest Pregnancy Resource Center to you where you can get a FREE and CONFIDENTIAL test and they will be there for you, they can help you talk to your parents if you want them too, they can help you find the best options for your situation…I hope that anyone who has had an abortion is not offended by what I shared, I believe it to be truth, I do not however judge those who have had abortions, I do not think that those ladies are horrible, I just think the abortion itself is wrong….Just wanted to clear that up…please, go to your parents and fess up, let them be your parents and help you through this stage of your life…Love Meg

    #24355
    Avataremeraldforestmyheartbro

    I agree with everything Meg has said, she is right and you should listen to her. Abortion is MURDER no matter what anyone says. Please talk to someone you trust, and if you are pregnant please dont punish your baby for merely existing. its not the childs fault you had unprotected sex at such a young age. please think about abstaining from sex after this, because abortion should not be used as a type of birth control. it is wrong and you will regret it for the rest of your life.

    #24361
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    Hello ‘only 13″,

    My heart aches when I hear a story such as this. I’ve debated responding but I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry you’ve put yourself in this position….you’ve made some very intimate decisions about your body, and have agreed to share your body with a young man. But your ‘only 13’!!
    Now…you’re unsure of the consequences. You may have even thought of the consequences BEFORE you had sex. What if you are pregnant? You’re ‘only 13’ but you’ve put yourself into the adult world where situations are complicated and mature decisions have to be made that will effect everyone around you.

    I’m sure at this moment…you are wishing that you had only said, “NO, because I’m only 13”. I wish you had as well. I pray that you will find the courage to talk to your parents tonight and tell them you’ve made a terrible mistake. You are a minor and will need guidance from your family. Your parents are even responsible for your actions. You should take Meg’s advice and call the help line. They can help you talk to your family and possibly protect you in case the discussion gets very out of control. But you have to involve your parents. Give your mother the opportunity to be there for you. I’m sure you’re afraid, but many young girls have made this same mistake and are mothers now to beautiful babies because they took responsibility for their decision to have sex at ‘only 13’. It was difficult for them to come clean with their parents, and they went through a lot to get where they are now…but you can do this!! Don’t let your family force you into going to a clinic and have an abortion. If it gets to that point for you, you may have to turn to another family member for the time being, who would be in support of you having this child and who would offer a home for you temporarily. Start thinking of alternative loved ones whom you could call if your parents threaten abortion. Grandparents, cousins, aunts, or a close neighbor friend. Have an alternative plan to present to them if they will not let you live at home to carry the baby. They may settle down and realize that you’ve put some thought into your own solution. THINK now, and be prepared.

    I have a daughter who is almost 13 and when I look at her I think of your situation. She is my angel….with bright brown eyes that lights up my day with her laugh. I know how much I love her and would do anything for her……Give your mother the chance to show you how much she can love you. You may be surprised. Don’t misunderstand me, she could be very angry and dissappointed, but if you continue to go behind her back and do things like have sex with boys (15 is still a boy) and plan abortions without her knowing, you will be robbing her of her right to be there for you. Could you blame her for being angry? You didn’t share your life with her. God blessed her with YOU, he gave you to her to love, nurture, guide and support. She said ‘YES’ to the call of motherhood. She may be willing to help you raise her grandchild…..if you run off somewhere with strangers and kill the innocent baby that may be in your young body right now….she may ask you when she does find out, (mothers always do),
    “Why? Why didn’t you come to me for help? Why would you kill a baby? Why couldn’t we have been told, we would have helped you!!.

    The only thing you’ll be able to say is, “because I was only 13”. Because you’re ‘ONLY 13″ doesn’t make it right to murder. Don’t justify killing your baby by using your age. Start thinking now and being mature about your decisions from this moment on. I would also advise not to continue having sex with anyone. You may not be pregnant now….but if you continue having sex you will eventually become pregnant. You need to make a promise to yourself that if you’re not pregnant…..that you are going to stop taking risks with your life and others and wait until you’re ‘ONLY MARRIED’ !!

    I will be thinking of you,
    God bless
    myangelsinheaven

    #24389
    Avatarnadza

    well im almost 17,lost my viginty at 14 married at 15, mom of a 1year old and 6months into my second pregnancy,so let me tell u from experienceccc its not a simple thing to just abort like u seem to think nor is it to raise a baby,its deeper then that n u only realize how deep once ur in it! like u said, u only 13, u really should be more careful n not have unprotected sex and as they say…. prevention is better then cure, n in this case the cure isn really a cure coz wateva decision u make will be life long n change ur life dramatically… please be more responsible, ur just a kid, enjoy life, havce fun growin up…. but do it responsibily… good luck hope everything works out for the best

    #24393
    Avatarinsubordinateximpx09

    Hi hun.

    To answer your question about your parents finding out if you got an abortion, the answer is yes. Since you are so young still, they would need to be informed by the clinic. Regardless, it’s not a good idea to hide it from your parents anyways. And don’t think of abortion as your only way out. You could always look into adoption. I hate to see someone your age going through this. I’m not much older, but it still is difficult. Good luck, hun.

    #24404
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    From what you’ve told me on email your symptoms could be one of two things. You could be in the middle of your cycle where you’re ovulating now, with the discharge you’ve described. That is a clear sign of the fertile period of your cycle and the dates you gave me lead me to believe that’s the case. You’re not due until the 21st which is next Sat. So according to what you’ve told me, YOU SHOULD NOT BE HAVING SEX RIGHT NOW WITH ANYONE IF YOU WANT TO PREVENT GETTING PREGNANT!! If you’re not pregnant now, you could get pregnant before next Sat. I cannot tell you for certain that it’s ovulation symptoms, but if you don’t get your period by next Sat. you should begin to think of your next step. You can wait a few extra days because all of the stress from this situation may cause you to be late. But please consider involving your parents at some point because you will need them to help you.

    You seem to be a very smart girl by all the calculations you’ve made with your cycle and searching for answers. You’ve just made a bad decision by thinking that having sex before marriage is ok. You’re body is not finished developing for the most part……and you have so much time ahead of you to accomplish so much in life. You’re value should not be measured by how soon you are sexually active with a boy. You’re trying to grow up into the adult world before you’re able to understand all the it involves. Please make a promise to yourself that if you’re not pregnant….that you will rethink your private life and give YOUR life a little more time. Before you decide to risk creating a life!!

    Please stay in touch, I will be praying for you sweetheart!

    God bless,
    myangelsinheaven

    #24492
    Avatarjessicajackson

    told my mum,she don’t speak to me anymore.just got to see if i come on saturday.

    #24493
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    Give her some time, she will not be able to abandon you. She loves you!! Remember that….no matter how she’s acting, it’s new for her to hear about your situation. She probably has a lot of worries for you going on in her mind, she may be a bit concerned about a lot of things, and it’s just a bit of a blow right now. Give her time to absorb the idea and she will talk to you. We can’t expect that all people are going to be happy when we tell them about our mistakes, but her love for you will take over and she will be there for you.

    I’ll look forward to hearing from you on Saturday.
    God bless,
    myangelsinheaven

    #24497
    Avatareherman

    Hi Jessica,

    My name is Erin and my heart goes out to you. I have read over some of the comments you have received and feel some of them have been quite harsh. It is true you are in a very difficult situation and should you end up pregnant things will quickly get much tougher. (Remember, all things are possible with the love of Christ.) If after Saturday you find out that you are pregnant, then you will have a decision to make regarding the life of your baby. It will undoubtedly be the most difficult decision you may ever have to make and I hope that you are surrounded by love, understanding and support no matter what you decide. You have been given much advice but remember, it is you alone who will have to live with this decision for the rest of your life.
    For now, lets focus on you. By having sex at such a young age, you have already opened the door for a magnitude of physical, psychological, and emotional risks. But it is not too late for you to begin making good decisions. It is very difficult to navigate through today’s sex-saturated culture as an adult, much less as a teenager. Everything around us, media, peers, even our schools encourage kids and adults alike to have sex without boundaries or limits of any kind, without morals and without value. This has devastating consequences for everyone, especially for a young girl as yourself.
    You are a beautiful, invaluable child of God yet our world would tell you differently. It would have you believe your worth is based on your ability to sexually please a boy or a man. That you are valued only by your appearance or by your willingness to do things you are not ready for or that are not appropriate or safe for a woman of any age. These are lies and they are dangerous. I pray that with the help of God, you will recognize these lies that society is telling you about your worth and find the strength to guard yourself against the pressures you face. It is not too late for you to lead a life of sexual integrity. I promise you that, regardless of what our culture would have you believe, you will be much happier with your life, free from the stresses, worry and anxieties as well as STD’s, unwanted pregnancies and physical pain that comes with giving too much too soon.
    Remember, God loves you! God loves you so much that he sacrificed his only son on the Cross that your sins (yes, ALL of them) may be forgiven. You now have the freedom to walk as one who has been forgiven. Please check out the book “Every Young Woman’s Battle,” by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn. It is a must read for all young women. I will be praying for you!

    #24510
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    Hi Jessica,

    At church there is a prayer book where people can write their prayer requests for our parish members to pray for. I asked for their prayers to be for you today and your situation. All is not lost Jessica….have confidence that God will carry you close to His heart. He does not abandon his lambs.

    All my prayers are for you,
    myangelsinheaven

    #24520
    Avataremeraldforestmyheartbro

    Hey, my name is enya and i am 16. I lost my virginity at 14 and everyday regret it. I wish so badly that I had waited. Please, i can tell that you are not ready to have sex, or deal with its consequences. if youu respect your body then please wait until marriage!!

    My advice to you would be to wait until your period is about 3days late then take a test, i wish you the best!! please keep us updated. 🙂 my heart is with you and i am always here if you need to talk!

    xox

    #24585
    Avatarmyangelsinheaven

    Hi Jessica,
    Just wanted to leave this with you in case I’m not online when you check in with your results.

    I am praying for you. Praying that it will be negative. No one at your age should be having to make such difficult choices….not yet. I pray that if your test is negative, that you will learn from this situation and begin to make healthier choices about your body, and your life so that you can enjoy growing up without the worries of an adult.

    I hope all is well young friend and I will be here to help and give you support along with the other ladies on here.

    My God keep you safe,
    myangelsinheaven

    #24890
    Avatarj_reyna101

    wow 13 and pregnant that is a very young age. i strongly suggest telling your parents its going to be very hard for you it isnt easy. but you are most likely thinking the very worst, i just turned 17 when i told my dad. i was so scared i thought he was goingto ick me out and call me all these names and hit me and what not but it was actually alot easier. yes are age diferences are different more so because you are so young. but don think abortion is your only option there is adoption!! some people pay for all the medical bills and to make sure you are well takin cared of during pregnancy i am not saying keep the baby your going to get money no i am not saying that. even if you have to talk to your bfs parents first. but you need to tell an trusted adult to guide you and helpyou through it. its going to be hard keeping ur pregnancy a secret especially when u feel that there is a big sign pointing at you telling you that you are. what ever desicion you make is something you have to live with for the rest of your life. i am not telling you its going to be easy its going to be hard. but coming out can be the best thing you can do.

    #25513
    AvatarAnonymous

    Hello, Jessica, What ever you decide. Please do not abort the baby there are so many family’s out here like My Husband and I who are looking to adopt a baby that can’t have any that are willing to adopt a baby right now. We have been looking to adopt a baby for a very long time now. And as I read this website about all the abortion it kills me to see this when I am looking to adopt. For everyone in the website don’t abort there is family out there looking for a baby. hope everyone see this. Please stop abortions. luvanewbaby

    #25546
    Avatarlilkharma


    Hey I wanna help. We do have the same situation. Right now I’m 14 and pregnant. My parent’s accepted the fact about me and understand my situation. I lost my virginity too when I was 13. Just be confident.Don’t think of abortion because it’s the greatest sin a girl could make because you are not yet married. The baby is innocent. So please don’t do it.

    :kiss: luv lotz…

    lilkharma

    #25828
    AvatarAlisha_Reece

    Hi jess , your the same age as me , and honistly you would be as well keeping it , ur family might be a little asngry and what so at first but iam sure they will come to termss with the sitation it shuldnt be that bad hunnie , i would love to be a mum , but i think i am going to wait a feww years yet :LOL:
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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