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October 19, 2009 at 2:21 pm #25903Ms_tinkerbell
So I made a decision to have a medical abortion. Nothing at this stage is going to change my mind as keeping it is not even an option unfortunately 🙁 I came here for some support and to calm my nerves by reading positive abortion stories.
All I’ve got are negative stories about how much agony I will be in and how cruel I am and that I will see the foetus come out of me.
Well I spoke to some proper sources. Which includes 5 girls who have had abortions and 3 doctors. The doctors laughed when I asked if at 4 weeks I will see any kind of foetus come out. All it wiil look like is chunks of blood. NONE of the 5 girls were in much pain at all, NONE of them “saw a foetus” come out and NONE of them regret it.
I am 3 and a half weeks pregnant and all the “baby” is at this stage is a ball of cells barely visible to the human eye. It has no nerves or brain at this stage which means it cannot feel pain and it is not conscious.
I’m not saying I’m completely right, yes I made a mistake but I’m only human and I think girls who choose to have an abortion deserve some respect and support as well. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion whether they are pro-life or pro-choice but nobody should try and push their morals on someone else and nobody should lie to try and get someone to make a decision as huge as whether to have a baby or not.October 21, 2009 at 12:17 am #25908queenB
Hey, thanks for posting. At Stand Up Girl you are always free to state your opinion. There is nothing wrong with just letting it all out. It’s good therapy and everyone needs to do it now and then.
It sounds like you are going through a really stressful time right now. It’s only natural to feel this way. Finding out that you are pregnant is a BIG deal and it’s HARD. This is not an easy time for anyone, but the good news is that there are so many girls who have been there done that and they really want to help you through this. You are not alone.
We love you so much and we are here for you. We only want what is best, but no matter what you do we will be here for you. Even if other people in your life are giving you a hard time, Stand Up Girl will always be your refuge. We love you unconditionally.
In my own life, I started out pro-choice. I minored in philosophy and took a class on ethics. We had great discussions on women’s rights and their right to choose. I really LOVED it! I was squarely pro-choice. It was not long after that that I was having a conversation with a person that I did not know well at all and she had no idea what any of my political beliefs were. She told me that at the moment when the sperm penetrates the egg, the baby’s hair color, eye color, height, skin color, approximate weight, and some personality traits are all determined. I didn’t believe her. I flat out thought she was an idiot – really. So to prove her wrong I did some research of my own and I found she was right. I was humiliated to say the least. In the face of documented science I had no other choice but to change my beliefs – and it sucked.
On the Stand Up Girl site we will always tell you the truth. You won’t get lies from us, but we are sorry that you found the stories that we posted offensive. Our intention was not to shame you or make you feel guilty. These are real stories – not doctored stories – that we have received from real people who have been in the situation that you are in now. We aren’t here to make a political statement or make you change your mind. You are free to hold any belief you have or make any decision you want. We are here for you no matter what you do.
I volunteer with this site because I want to help women. I want the very best for you. The best advice that I can give you is to take a look at fetal development. Research it for yourself. Don’t take my word for it.
Remember, though, no matter what decision you make, I am always there for you. You can email me any time if you want to. April@standupgirl.comOctober 21, 2009 at 12:33 am #25910Anonymous
Just like every woman is different and every pregnancy is different, so is every abortion. You could ask one hundred women and they would probably all say something different about their experience.
I work for a pregnancy hotline and we talk to over 500 women every day. We have had calls from girls who took RU486 and were screaming into the phone about their pain and we’ve spoken with girls who had little more than cramping.
When you’re reading the stories, the reason that girls are talking about their pain is that they were looking for a place, just like you are, to talk about their experience. With abortion, especially after the fact, the stories are largely negative.
You are very right about one thing though, SUG is here to support you. There are a lot of organizations that give after abortion support and if you need that at any time I would be happy to get you their contact information.
It’s good that you’ve been asking questions and when someone has considered all their options and is set on an abortion there are some additional questions we urge you to ask your doctors. These are for your health and safety, and again, that is what is the most important!
1. What is the name of the physician performing the abortion?
2. In the case that hospital care is needed, can the doctor admit patients to the local hospitals and, if so, which ones?
3. Will the patient receive an ultrasound and/or STD testing and if so, is there an additional cost?
The first question is important because in some cases a girl has needed to contact that doctor if there are complications and she’s been unable to do so.
The second question is important because any
time you take something that is designed to make you bleed, you need to know where to go if anything unexpected happens.
I believe the third question is the most important, and here is why: you may be
having a tubal pregnancy which means a pregnancy developing in your fallopian tube. If this is the case it can be a potentially life threatening situation. The only way to know if you are having a tubal pregnancy is to have an ultrasound. If you don’t have an ultrasound and have a medical abortion it will not stop the pregnancy. The fetus can continue to grow in your tube and it can rupture. It has happened before and it has caused a lot of women a lot of harm.
We care about you, and that’s the bottom line. Please keep up with us and let us know how it goes for you!October 21, 2009 at 8:26 pm #25921lisa
Hiiiiiiiii! I’m Lisa and as I read your letter my heart went out to you. I know the stress and strain that being unexpectedly pregnant and wanting support can be. You see, I have had 2 abortions and I can share with you personally my experience and my heart if you’d like.
Let’s just say that you and I are sitting at our favorite coffee shop at the beach (my favorite place) and we are having our favorite coffee drink or hot cocoa. When you look across the table at me, you will only see the face of someone who is speaking to you with care and concern and love. There’s not any meanness in anything I say. E-mails are hard to tell what sort of mood someone’s in, so I like to set the stage first. 🙂
OK – with that said …
You said that you came to the site looking for support to calm your nerves. Why? Why were your nerves not calmed when coming to Stand Up Girl? Is it because you read all the stories of girls that did have abortions and the pain that we’ve dealt with afterwards? Goodness isn’t that a good thing that you see that before you make the choice to abort?
I had a girl that I was talking to near my home. She was pregnant and not even as far along as you. She was completely dead set on aborting. I told her my heart and shared with her what her heart would potentially feel afterwards. I explained my experience to her … and yet she was determined.
Not even a week afterwards she called me and said “What have I done?” She was tragically regretful.
You see, right now it seems like the right answer. It makes all my problems go away. But can I say that by having an abortion, it will never make your baby go away. You will still be a mommy. Abortion doesn’t change that.
You had mentioned seeing the foetus come out of you. (Did you know that the word Foetus is Latin for “Little One”?) In many cases yes this is true and in other cases no baby is visually seen. There is an amnionic sack and blood and water that will also come out so they are mixed in together. I will tell you that at less than 28 days your baby has a heartbeat already.
When you came to the Stand Up Girl website, we care enough about you to tell you the truth. There are others that will never be honest enough to tell you that abortion truly is a tragic choice. It comes with a lifetime of regrets and really and truly the e-mails you see on the site are from real girls that have had real experiences.
Please please see … we are here to help you. To help you make good choices for yourself. Not choices that you will regret for a lifetime … like some of us do.
Sometimes we may need to take a big step back and see … why does this make me uncomfortable? Is it possibly because something really truly rings true deep inside of you?
Can I share one of my most favorite photos? It’s an amazing photo and you are not far from this. Check this out:
Please please – consider the steps you are about to take. I can tell you have the heart to be a Stand Up Girl! All you have to do is decide … decide to Stand for the life of your baby. Don’t make the same mistake I made.
I regret my choices every single day!October 21, 2009 at 10:49 pm #25923infantrywife
Its not pushing morals on someone. Its just telling someones opinions and stories. Ill admit when i had my abortion there was no physical pain. I was 20 weeks pregnant. But the recovery was what messed me up. While i was knocked out during the procedure they screwed up my insides. Im 20 now and i got a low chance of ever getting pregnant, even if i do it would be a hard pregnancy. Some woman dont feel anything like i did till i realized the mistake i made. But other woman were in immense pain. My abortion was forced. I was 16 and in a relationship that was only 5 months old. Were married now but its hard for both of us to relate to each other mainly because of that incident. Either way everyone is affected somehow in some fashion.November 2, 2009 at 2:53 am #26035Anonymous
Though I have never suffered through an abortion, I am hear to sadly say that most girls do go through a very rough time in their life after going through with it. It’s just a terrible fact of post-abortion stress syndrome. I’m so sorry that you had to go through with this, but know that we’re all here for you on this website and that you will get through it and move forward with your life. The baby is in a much better place with Jesus and has forgiven you. I respect every single one of the girls who has an abortion because society is falsely glorifying this horrifying procedure. Abortion IS murder, but it is a justified murder, if that makes sense. Girls usually do not realize the consequences until it is too late in their terminations.
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