I’m 16 and just ruined my life

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  • #13002
    Avatarash16

    My name is Ashley. I’m 16 years old and a sophomore in high school. I’ve always had high expectations for myself and things were on the right track, until I met HIM. You know, the guy who makes your heart flutter and you frreak out after he actually calls you since you didn’t think he would…. basic story,, girl and boy fall in love, do something stupid without thinking about what can happen, and girl gets pregnant, I just found out that I was pregnant, and I also just told my dad. He wasn’t as angry as I thought, but the look of dissapointment on his face was worse than being slapped. My boyfriend, however, isn’t taking it well at all. He’s scared to tell his family, because his over-strict catholic parents would probably never speak to him again. I’m terrified and confused and I don’t know what to do. I worked so hard at everything I did just to end up being the exact opposite of what I wanted…It’s not that I can’t do it, I can, and I will. What scares me is that I don’t think I’m READY to be a mom. I have a little hellion for a little brother, and seeing how he acts scares me… what if i can’t deal with it.. Lately, all I do is cry… It makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one, and I would really appreciate anyone’s advice… or just anything that might make me feel better.. Thank you for reading this.
    ~Ashley

    Post edited by: acas, at: 2006/11/11 04:04

    #13011
    AvatarTerriJade

    Hi,
    My name is TerriJade. And I am 16 years old and 5 months pregnant. Talk about scared. If anyone has ever been terrified to bones in their whole lives it has been me. I come from a very strong christian upbringing. And pretty much the same thing that happened to you happened to me. And to be honest I did not know what my next step would be. But I am hear to tell you, "THIS IS NOT THE END, and more importantly, YOUR LIFE IS NOT RUINED." That is what society wants you to think. But You are still very much in control of your success and success can and will happen in your life if you stand adversity in the eye and claim that it will. Trust me, telling my mom that I woud become a mother was not the easiest thing to do. But it relieves me to know that she stands behind me and loves me unconditionally. And so do my friend. And if you believe that you have support you do. Even if it is not from you family, and i know that that is probably where you need it to come from most, you have it on this website. At least from me. I do not have to know people to care about their well being. And i never want you to say or believe that garbage that your life is over again. I felt the same way once. But i promise if you hold on there is a light coming from a bright rainbow at the end of each dark tunnel. If you ever need a friend just email me. I am always available to talk.

    Hope to hear from you soon.
    TerriJade.

    #13018
    AvatarMyGuardianAngel92406

    Hi there. My name is Penny and while I have never ben in your situation myself, my Sister was. She became pregnant at 15 and had her son at 16. My family was disappointed, but they got over it. They did their best to help, but in the end she chose to give my nephew up for adoption. This is an option for you, but so is raising your child. You are not alone. If you ever need to talk, I am here for you. I am 35, but maybe an older woman’s point of view might help.

    Penny

    #13023
    Avatarmommytoele

    Hi there. I can’t write much right now, but I did want to suggest an Open Adoption. I have to get going.
    Nicki

    #13025
    Avatardreamer91077

    Hi. I just wanted to say that im also 16 and i have a 16 month old son , i wouldent give him up for anything, hes my world , His father and i are still together and i still attend highschool just like any other student.Its possible and your life ISENT ruined, dont worry about becoming someone bad your can still be a great person just dont become the statistical teenage parent be the best person you can possibly be , get good grades, work had, support your child, and be an overall good person , thats all you can do.

    #13029
    AvatarAnonymous

    do i know how you feel… I guess we are not all alone after all!! = )
    I’m just barley 18 years old and i found out that im 4 MONTHS!!! i told my mom and she is helping me through this so much she’s so suportive but my dad is a very strict parenet and a police officer at that im terrified to tell him. When i first told my Boyfriend he really wanted me to get an abortion because we are so young and not READY for this!!! After a LOT of talking i told him how i felt about it and now we are pretty Excited for the big day!! IM getting more scared everyday. I Know i CAN do it but to be honest i didnt want to so so soon i fell like im being a bad mom already but i think when i hold my little mirical for the first time ill be more then ready! I live at my boyfriends house with his mom and 2 brothers and we have not told them yet…..I really want my own place to live because i want my baby to have its own room but like i said im 18 living at home homeschooled and i only have a part time job and NO money saved up!!! Everyday seams to get harder lately i know its coming and i just want everything to be perfect when it gets here, im trying to work anywhere i can for now for some extra cash before the baby but i just wish it would be easier to create a heaven for my little one …. Those days when i get really overwhelmed i like to take a hot bubble bath and hold my growing belly i feel so sure of everything when i feel it kick and hear its little heart beating cuz I might be 18 but i made a life !!!!

    Post edited by: SweetTea, at: 2006/11/11 23:20

    #13032
    Avatartyffanie_88

    Hi Ashley…I know right now it may seem as if you ruined your life…but every child is a blessing. Although you were doing things a young girl shouldnt and maybe things havent turned out the way you planned…your just gonna have to grow up & keep your head up about it. I know you may feel scared & all you want to do is cry…but the worst thing has already happened and you must go on & live your life…you and your baby…All things happen for a reason…rather good or bad…maybe this will teach you a lesson…we learn from our mistakes but make sure you dont make the same mistake again & keep pregnant after you have the baby…Stressing yourself out will not help…it will just make matters worse for you & your unborn child…crying never solved anything…you just need to pray for the healthy of your unborn child & ask God to help you in each & every way he can…He said he will never leave us nor forsake us…so he’s here for you even if everyone else turns their back on you [hopefully that doesnt happen] Jus stop stressing…you’ll make it…whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger…I promise

    I hope things turn out well & keep us updated about your little one…

    Love, Tiffany

    #13044
    AvatarKaileyamanda

    Hey girl!
    dont think of it as ruining yor life. as long as you dont let it then it wont. I found out i was pregnant at 16 too. I turned 17 at the end of August and I’m a little over 8 months now. It’s been a hard road but I’d like to think I’ve done well. I was crushed when I found out too b/c I knew that it would change all of my plans… but it hasnt taken such a toll yet. I’ve stayed in school (until this week when my BP shot up) and now I’m about to start homebound. I’ve kept up with all my Gifted and AP classes and balanced my QUEST internship in a hospital’s Labor and Delivery section. My family has been very supportive although my boyfriend’s family has not. He was not happy but he has been so good through it all and has stayed right by my side. I know how it is to fall in love young and quick. I fell for Michael quickly but now we’ve been together for 3 years. Everything is so scary now- we feel like we arent ready because we really are not. However, we have to be now. It’s not just about us anymore and that life inside you will quickly become the most important thing you have ever known. It’s not easy but you have to know that it will be rewarding. I’ve learned not to care what others think so much. I’m not ashamed at all but I’ve learned to be humble about it. You can always hope and pray that your boyfriend’s family comes around. It will be okay- just keep your head up and take heart in the fact that so many girls are going through the same thing as you or have already done so!! good luck babe! let me know if youd ever like to talk!

    Kailey 17
    35weeks 4days

    #13045
    AvatarAnonymous

    Hey Their, i was 15 when i found out i was 2 months along, i told my mother she cried cause she knew it was going to be hard on me cause she also lived the life as a teenage mom. my parents stuck by me so did my boyfriend and his family, My son is now 1 years old and im 17 & im pregnant again, i got through it with and with out my parents help sometimes. im now in beauty school and will be out on my own in a year, Things went fine for me, i got my GED instead of finshin high school cause i wanted to be the mother of my child i didnt want him to look at my mom as his mother. My Family dont believe in abortion neither do i. you have the good and bad times, but this baby will bring you so much more then a bf or anyone else could. its just how you want to live your life, with your baby or not. and whats best for you both. i hope i helped ~Tana~

    Post edited by: SweetTea, at: 2006/11/12 18:48

    #13093
    Avatarash16

    Well, Here is an update.. My Dad wants me to have an abortion, my Grandma wants me to keep it, and my boyfriend wants me to give it up for adoption. I am hearing so many different things from everybody that it’s overwhelming. I have told everyone that I AM keeping, and that I WILL be fine, and so will my baby. It does seem like the people that I need by my side don’t really want to be, and even though my Grandma says to keep it (she said that she’s not going to tell me to do anything I don’t want to do, as she made the same mistakes at 16), she says that adoption would probably be best for the baby. My boyfriend as of now has told his father, but not his mom. He’s scared to death, and thinks that I don’t understand, but I REALLLY REALLY do. I’m just as terrified. He keeps telling me that even if I don’t give it up for adoption, he’ll be there and he’ll help me take care of the baby, but that he thinks he won’t be a good parent and that he will still think someone else would be better suited to. I can’t do it. I am already attatched, there would be no way I could give MY baby away. It seems like no one cares about what I want for my child, as they keep telling me "you’re only a child yourself, you don’t need to try and raise one!"… but what they don’t understand is that I ceased to be a child when I found out that I’m pregnant.. The only thing I care about right now is my baby. I did find out that I can not only continue to go to school until the baby is born ( well, I’m not sure exactly when, but I should be due in june or july.School will already be out) but I can bring the baby to school with me after the birth. That makes me feel a lot better. I’m not going to let anyone tell me to get rid of my baby, no matter how hard they try.

    I would also like to ask you guys for any advice on financial help.. Any resources you may know of that could help me out would be great..

    I really appreciate everyone who replied to my message.. It make me feel a lot better knowing that there are others like me out there.. and that even if I don’t have support from my family, that I have support from all of you.
    Again, thank you, and god-bless
    ~Ashley

    #13145
    AvatarKaileyamanda

    Stand Up Girl! its great that you know what you want! dont let anyone sway your decision! when people see how devoted you are to what you choose then they will come to respect you and your decision. dont let anyone take away what you want! best of luck to you! you can do it! we’ll always be here if you need support!

    Kailey
    35 weeks 6 days

    #13158
    Avatarholy_foxtrot

    Hi Ashley, dont think you have ruined your life, yoy havent. You have choices, And im aware that you already know what they are laready. Read up on pregnancy, read up on the stories people tell about how wonderful their small family is. The support you can get from places. the love.
    i hope you make the right decision, the one you wont regret.
    im here is you need to talk
    xx

    <3

    #13173
    AvatarJaydens_mummy

    Hey hunnie
    My names Ashlee, and im from New Zealand. I was 14 when i found out i was pregnant, and it was the hardest news i had ever had to hear up until that point in my life. I was only 15 when i gave birth to my son, which scared the living daylights out of me, but trust me it is so worth it. I know it all seems so scary at the moment, trust me i reallly do know, and telling my mum was most certainly NOT the easiest thing i did, but im glad i did it. Well actually my school accidentally let it slip :). U will get through this, and you are so blessed to be given the life of a child, to have this baby in your stomach and to raise a child that wil grow up tp be something so amazing. You probably dont wanna hear all this, i disragarded it when people told me, so ill try and help ya out ok. If (under the worst circumstances) ur bf leaves you, its not the worst, being a single mother is hard but its something id rather do, that way you dont have conflicting arguments about every decision u make. Morning sickness lol. eat something dry like crackers or something BEFORE you get out of bed soon as you wake up pretty much. If ur dad offers help with anything, take it! I know it doesnt seem like you wanna rely on everyone else at first, but you will need it, we all wanna seem like were doing it on our own but trust me the help is the best part, even if its just dso you can get an hours undisturbed sleep one day! Stay in school for as long as you can through the pregnancy, and afterwards maybe you could do school from home, like correspondence, i do that an its so good knowing im still gettin an education to better my son when we’re older.

    Im may only be 16 but having a child makes you grow up so fast, but remember you are still young so you dont have to become a 30yr old woman overnight k

    Sorry about the long as reply, but if u ever need someone to talk to or jus feel lke a chat, or want any questions answered, [please post here or email me through my profile], im here if u need anything k

    Good luck, stay strong and take care of u and your little one for the time being

    Seeya
    xxx

    Post edited by: acas, at: 2006/11/16 15:30

    #13323
    AvatarAnonymous

    It is wonderful to have a baby, our daughter Just woke up. Don´t abort Your child. It is brutal murder and You too would suffer all Your life. Birth for me was fun actually, I suddenly felt her head coming out, when I tried to get up from bed and have some chamomile tea. Well I woke my husband and said floor or bed, We are to get a baby soon. It did not hurt, My husband did not charge anything. I am a happy mother. Calm Down and do not be afraid, I believe many are praying for You, try to stay at Your grandmother, do not let Your father know everything. This is about Your babys life, My sister was 14 Years old when she got pregnant, her son is now almost a teenager, He is very happy the socialserviceladycould not demand a forced abortion on my sister. i have heard there are millions of Americans that want to adopt. Midwife or doula birth usually is safer than Gynecologists and hospitals that do more harm to the mother. Give birth squatting, in the dark make sure the babys father cathes the child, there is a bonding to the right persons. Him and the baby. Don´t bond with the gynecologist. The less interventions the happier outcome. Did You know mens hormones relaxes women in childbirth, There is usually barely any pain then. it can be romantic to give birth in privacy. Unassisted Homebirth and Pleasurable Husband wife birth is excellent books on the topic. Right now my our babygirl wants to nurse, so Got to go. Keep Your child.Have courage. God bless You!

    #13328
    AvatarAnonymous

    Hello again Ashley. Our daughter is not thirsty anymore. stay away from ultrasound, it is dangerous, radiologists gynecologists and the marina knows that it destroys cells, both on the tissues on Your belly and the babes soft skin, even brain. It could cause miscarriage. Babies are hidden in the womb for a reason, protection. Helonias dioica prevents misscarriage, raspberryleaf tea taken in the last trimester softens the cervix to prevent tearing, stay away from most herbs. Take are really well of Yourself and Your little one. Sea-band helps against nausea. At least 90% less nauseousness. And Congratulation for Your child. give her or him a happy birthday. Merry christmas. Rejoyce ask If Your boyfriend wants to catch a baby, it is easier than catching a football. Maybe You two should get married.

    #13331
    AvatarAnonymous

    hey cutie. i just wanted to drop by and tell ya what i think. first and foremost congradulations. i hope you are feeling well. i agree with terrijade when she says… your life is not over! it has just begun. having this precious little baby will be one of your proudest moments. i cant explain the feeling you get when your doctor hands that cute little thing to you, either crying or kind of flailing its arms. i cried when that happend to me. i had twin boys and then 10 and a half months later a little girl. i do not know you whole situation but i would suggest looking at all of the options. i myself did an open adoption and i love it! i get to see my babies and pics and all sorts of things. plus they have the best paretns i could ask for for my kids. and most of all they were ready to be parents unlike my bf/fiance and i. it is hard sometimes and i know the crying and the sleepless night and he works but i know you can do it! i thought i had ruined my life. i got pregant in high school…. twice and not only did i graduate and walk but i finished high school with a dental assisting cerificate (i took a college course during pregnancy) and got my best grades ever! you have high expectations that is such a good thing. one thing that helped me was to sit down and put the things in wanted from my life in writting. also (and more importantly) things i wanted for my babies lives. in my case i couldnt do even half of what i wanted for my babies at that point and so i chose adoption. you might be different. either way it will be hard and so rewarding at the same time. i wish you luck and i will pray for you! if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to email me! 🙂 🙂

    #13357
    Avatarhaley

    hey girl… i know what your going thro…but im going to tell you something my sister was 17 years old when she gave birth to her beautiful son…she didnt think she could be a mother at that young of age she thought that she wasnt ready at all and that her life would change dramasticly but girly….. her son is now one and she said once you have that child…its worth it all the change and everything is so worth it…she tells me everyday that he is the joy of her life and she doesnt know what she would do without her son…she still goes out every once and a while and has fun without her son but she misses him to much she said that she would rather spend time with him than away from him just think about it all….. and im here..

    #13972
    Avatarlaurissahebert

    It will be ok.The look on your fathers face of disapointment will go away.mine did .I sumtimes think hes more excited than me lol. men have a different way of showing it thow. im here for you anytime.

    Your FRIEND laurissa:P

    #14037
    AvatarHermia2012

    hey girls… i see that there are many in this situtation… and guess what… ALL OF YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! that is what is awesome…. is that all of you can.. each sitution is different but you all can make it. i am not in this situtation but i have seen it happen to many of my friends and some of them.. well there parents didnt care, others did, and some of them had only me to support them. so i am glad to see that all of yall can help each other.

    #14126
    Avatarbrooke

    Ashley I was 16 and a sophomore when I found out I was pregnant. The first initial reaction is going to be to get upset. I know that you are probably scared and you think your life is over,but the best is yet to come. My daughter is 10 now and I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am today without her. It may be rough for your boyfriend’s parents but they will come around especially if they relize that the baby is not going anywhere. So just stick in there, take deep breaths, and be supportive of your boyfriend he may really need you as much as you need him right now. It will be okay. If you need to talk just e-mail me.

    #14153
    Avatarmrs_meliss

    No matter what you will always feel you are not ready and maybe your not, but that doesnt mattwe now. you can do it. and the reward is beyond anything you can imagine. when it is your own baby it is different. you will see when you see your baby’s precious face-you will realize and ask, how could i have ever thought of not keeping her?

    everyone who is not supportive right away will come around. of course they may be dissapointed or upset at first becasue you are so young. but just think how proud they will be when you show them what wonderful mom you are and what a beautiful child you brought into the world!

    #14208
    AvatarMommieofchris

    Its not the end.. no where near the end even. its only the begining… you dont just wake up to a little hellion doing everything he shouldnt.. you go though the pregancy… and the new born stage.. and your weened into the fact of the child… no two children are the same… i never ever thought that i could do what im doing now… i mean i got pregnant at 14… barley 14… i knew NOTHING.. but you would be so amazed at what this child alone can teach you… so much… motherhood is not something that you can just put into words.. its education… its love… its so much that you have to expierence.. and its something any one person … can do… as long as THEY try and put their mind to it… thats what i beleive… have faith in your abilities… physicall and mental… you develop motherly instinct… and your body can do so much more then you ever would expect…

    #14269
    Avatardelmobaby

    hey ashley i have a friend who got pregant when she was thriteen and had her baby at fourteen. she had a precuaous lil girl who is now four and in pre k. my friend is also going to be graduating high school this yr and her baby’s daddy who is also my nephew is almost twenty and is in the army. they are doing great and hope to soon add a boy to their family but as he is going to iraqe sometime after may they will have to wait atleast two yrs. she doesnt want him to miss the pregnancy or birth so they have decided to wait. anyway i am twenty soon to be twenty-one and i have tweetny two month old boy and a two and half month old baby boy. they are my little maricles. and their father and i got married soon after we found out i was pregnant with our first. i know things may be scary and uncertain right now but i beleive you can do it and that you will be a great mother. keep me posted on how things go. hope everything works out great for you like it did for me and my friend and many many others god bless you all

    #14275
    AvatarLady_c

    Okay….u should look at my forums…i am 22…i got pregnant 3 times last year 2 were miscarriages and i unfortunatly chose an abortion back in november…I regret it….everyday i regret it. I have nightmares of my baby. All cuz the father was scared and i didnt kno how to talk to my mom. I really dnt recomend you to abort it. It is cruel, cold and no matter how many people go with you…..you will feel alone,,,and scared. I thought it was what i wanted but trust me….u will not regret having your baby. U could alwayz choose adoption if u dont think u could do it. I just found out that i am pregnant again, i really dnt kno how….but when i find out the details ill make sure to post them….if i am pregnant…im keeping it. I will work my ass off and get my life together for my baby and I…this time around the daddy is actually a little more understanding….just please…think about it…..if u need advise….message me anytime..morning noon or night…i will respond to you….i wish you luck in your decision….

    #14281
    Avatarxosoontobmommy07xo

    [color=#800080]Hey my name is Heather and i know EXACTLY how u feel. I got pregnant when i was 15 now im 16 and 6 weeks away from giving birth to a baby girl. When i first suspected i was pregnant i cried myself to sleep evrynite. My mom is strong in the christian belief and always told me that she knew i wasnt stupid enough to do something like being pregnant. But she was wrong. She knew i was pregnant w/o me ever opening my mouth! She confronted me about it and i was SO afraid that she would be mad but she wasnt mad she just had this look of complete disapointment like i had let her down. It was the worst feeling in the world. But i knew it wasnt this baby’s fault and there was NO way i was having an abortion. And i couldnt just give up something that was now a part of me. So im keeping my baby. My bf is now my fiance!! he has been happy from the start which helped so much bc i couldnt bare the thought of raising my baby w/o him!! But one advantage i do have over u is his parents are REALLY accepting of the whole thing!! Just please DONT let anyone talk u into having an abortion!! its NOT this babys fault… if u do decide to keep ur baby u probly WONT regret it! The joy and excitement of preparing for a baby is WONDERFUL…. and im sure welcoming ur new baby into the world will be the BEST feeling u will ever have!! But if u ever need anything or anyone to talk to im always here!! Hope to hear from u soon!!! Let me know wut u plan on doing about ur situation!!!
    <3 Heather[/color]

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