- This topic has 3 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated by .
September 1, 2008 at 10:37 pm #22080hope1day
My husband and I have been trying to adopt, but it can almost drive you insane with the waiting! I spoke with my husband and just told him it was really beginning to wear on me, and that if he wanted we could go with a surrogate. He agreed, and we were supposed to meet with her 8-30-08, but I cancelled. It had nothing to do with the surrogate, she seemed like a wonderful person, but I just couldn’t meet with her. My husband is fine, but I can’t have children, and I thought that I was just giving up on a mother that may think abortion was the only option, and that baby she aborted could have been the one meant for us. I just felt like I was taking the easy way out, and I don’t think there is any reason to bring a life in our life through surrogacy simply because I didn’t want to wait anymore. I felt selfish and ashamed. I told my husband, and he was just fine with the decision, and we don’t need “our” baby to have our DNA to give him/her all of our love. I called the surrogate and told her how sorry I was, and she was just great! I also called my worker and told her why we weren’t meeting with Jillian (the surrogate), and she told me she was so happy that I didn’t, because we will get our baby one day. Right now I am just praying that I have made the right choice. We’ve passed everything that is required to adopt, and we have a second home to offer an expectant mom if she needs a place to live while she is pregnant, and for her to recover after the baby is born, if she needs it. Please ladies, give me your honest opinion, and let me know what you think. I really do care about the health and well-being of the mom and the baby. Any advice?
Thank you for listening.September 5, 2008 at 11:37 pm #22128Anonymous
I really really hope that you are able to adopt a baby soon!
if you did end up wanting to have a surrogate would you still be able to adopt? Or would that prevent any adoptions?
I hope that everything works out for you!September 6, 2008 at 1:22 am #22134jessey223
If you have passed everything to adopt why not wait to see what happens, lay out a time line in your head that you and your husband agree on. Then if you are unable to adopt by then consider doing something else. I can only imagine that it is very trying to wait to have a baby but it will all work out. Be thankful you have options. You have passed everything for adoption purposes which is a plus an if that doesn’t work you can use the surrogate. I wish you the best of luck. JessicaSeptember 6, 2008 at 4:12 pm #22148KylieAUS
I know the processes are very different in the US and where im from (australia), but it sounds as though you are doing alot of nice things for mum and bub when they arrive in your life. I think having a place she can go to, to rest up after the birth is a really good idea. If you communicate with her try and be supportive as i know you would anyway. Perhaps organise some counselling to help her? Im going through the adoption process myself at the moment and its extremely draining on the emotions even though i know its what i want. Because of where i am i have to undergo counselling before consents can be signed, but i dont think its the same everywhere.
Good luck and i hope you get your baby soon 🙂
- The forum ‘Parent Talk – Advice and Support for Moms’ is closed to new topics and replies.