I feel like I’m now starting to be more depressed, and it’s been a a year since I’ve had my son. I feel like I’m vanishing and this new..boring and sad girl is taking over. I just feel so blah and not myself. I feel SOOO sad and depressed and I just cry. I cry because I feel like I’m not good at what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m not the perfect mother and I just want my son to enjoy life like i didnt. I want to be the mother i didnt have. I feel bad now as a mother, as I look back at how I wish i was treated as a child. i feel selfish for wanting to be the best. I feel like I’m being lazy by not accomplishing everything. I’m not graduating on time. I don’t have imagination, I feel like a fat lazy bum when my son is happy playing and i just dont have the energy or want, to sit down there and play and laugh. Don’t get me wrong, i talk and sing and read and play with him all the time. But i feel like its my obligation to do that ALL THE TIME. Because I didn’t have any of that. I just want to have a healthy and happy baby boy. I feel like I’m going crazy and that no one feels the same. this is the first time I’ve gotten this off my chest.. :/
There are times I think all us mom’s have lows…especially when we are tired and maybe are not getting any alone time! Do you have some close family or friends that could make a regular commitment each week to watch Grayson so you can do somethings for yourself? Maybe join a mom’s group, prayer group or just go out and pamper yourself? It will really bring some sunshine into your day!
If you feel it is more serious than this, please let me know, I can find some help you for!
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