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July 27, 2005 at 6:00 am #8901Anonymous
Ok, I really need some advice here. I turn 16 here on the 4th of August, and I just found out I was pregnant. I have been on birth control for some time, and I am really shocked to find out that I am preggers. I didn’t even miss a pill or anything. But my problem is, my mom is pregnant too! She is 14 weeks along, and she definitely is gonna have the baby. All my family is really excited and all, and I’m the oldest of two (I have a 9 year old brother). My parents know that me and my boyfriend have been doing things, and my mom is the one who got me on b/c. (I have been with my b/f for two years now). I am really scared, because I have a lot on my plate right now, and so does my b/f, cuz it’s my junior year, and his senior. Also, we barely have the money it’s gonna take to raise my new bro or sis, much less if I had a kid. The daddy’s family doesn’t have ANY money to spare at all, and I don’t have a very good relationship with my parents as it is. I’m considering abortion, but #1 is I don’t have the money, and #2 is I love my b/f more than anything, and I know he would be devastated if I didn’t have our baby. What should I do? Help me PLEASE!! :unsure:September 3, 2005 at 2:19 am #9177Anonymous
My dear girl,
Telling your parents should be your first move, secound, do not have an abortion. If you and your Boy friend want the baby don’t let any one tell you different. Also If I were in your shoes I’d look for a support group that would help me out. You and you Boy Friend can and will make it if you love eachother and are willing to face the world together standing shoulder to shoulder. Don’t give up, motherhood is one of the most wonderful things in the world. Don’t turn back, love that baby and your Boy Friend and keep your chin up. If you need more encouragment then let us know.
CarrieSeptember 3, 2005 at 8:12 am #9181Anonymous
i was pregnant when i was 16. i loved my boyrfiend just as you do. i was terified to tell my parents. expecially my father. my boyfriend didnt have a job (and never did for more then a few weeks) my parents were seperated and my dad was in and out of our house every other week. i was what they like to call "troubled" and we hadnt got along well since i was about 12. my house was a mess, always fighting and crying. we had money problems etc. but i had to think about me, my life and the life of my child. and so do you. i thought only of what my heart truly wanted despite my situation. and i decided to have the baby without ever thinking of abortion or adoption. i knew my parents would scream and cry but it didnt matter. all that matters is that i had 9 months for them to get used to the idea. i had nine months to get my boyfriend working, and to adjust to this new path in life. i figured that no matter what i had to go through from that point on, god doesnt make mistakes, he made me pregnant for a reason. and i needed to take responsibilities for my actions. i needed to be strong and adjust my life for the life i had created. needless to say it took a few days, my paents got over the anitial shock and them, and everyone else were supportive. so what im trying to say is…if your worried about money, you are sixteen, you have nine months for you and your boyfriend to find a job. and there are alot of programs out there that offer help (like wick which gives free formula and diapers) and your parents will love you know matter what. dont kill your own child just because your afraid to tell someone. now im not trying to persuade you either way. im just saying you sound like you want to have this baby. and you will regret it and be deeply emotionally scared if you have an abortion when that is not what you truly want. now i wish i could tell you about the birth and life of my child but i miscarried at around 3 months. i was devastated. but i have friends who went on to finish school, go to college, live thier lives very normal. and your boyfriend sounds like he will definitly be there for you, dont listen to what anyone says about that, my boyrfriend was there for me the whole time. we are 19 now, we live together and i think i might be pregnant again. it just takes some effort but you can do whatever you put your mind too, dont be scared. i wish you the best of luck and i hope you consider keeping your baby.
-Danielle-September 5, 2005 at 2:59 am #9192Anonymous
Think about your baby first… Forget your mother and boyfriend for a moment and think about that beautiful life thats growing inside of yu. THATS YOUR BABY AND NOBODY ELSES!!! It’s your disicion… Your going to regret having your child aborted. It’s not your childs fault that he was created.. It’s nobodys fault… Because it’s not a FAULT… It’s a maricleSeptember 7, 2005 at 10:25 am #9196Anonymous
Calm down chick. First things first, if you’re thinking about abortion, do you really think you could live with that decision if you went through with it? Second, why not go with an open adoption, that way you can get your prenatal care and not have to pay for it, and you can back out at any time if you decide to keep the baby. Maybe it’s just me, but that sounds a lot better than an abortion. You’ll be giving you kid a good chance at life. Think about it.September 7, 2005 at 5:40 pm #9197Anonymous
Lisson first thing first,you have to talk to your famly!Of corse thell be up set,but after a while whin emoshions have settled its going to be ok.As to your consurn abought money let me say very few babys come into this worl with parent who have enugf money.Mine included.I was17 with a stedy boy frend who had a good job and we were planing a wedding.We were saveing money to get our first apt together and pay for our wedding ,still living with my parents.My mom was dissapointed becouse she wanted my life to go in anouther direction that that I had chosen but by time I was three month she was getting volved with my pregnacy she even gave me a baby shower.My sons father and I marred had two more babys.My secound son was born ten month after our wedding day and whin I was told I was pregnant I told the doctor(BUT I JUST HAD A BABY!!)I was completly shocked I got pregnant so fast.I didnt want to have anouther baby so soon but I am so gladd I did he is the most amazing kid,he is so smart he lears things so fast and blows me away with his constant thirst for knowlage.Finly I choose to get pregnant with my doughter three years later a dishion I would later question as my marrege begain to crumble.I was devorced by time I was 26.I had three young kids none in school yet and on my own.Was it hard?You better bleve it.Was it worth it absoultly.If I had not gone threw every thing I did with my babys I wouldnt be the strong person I am to day.I sat with my friend whin she decited to have her abortion,I wated untell she was done in the wateing room.I asked her all the way their and all the way untell the doctor came in the room if she was sure she wanted to do this.I sat and cryed for her baby.Whin she came out of the room she looked as if shed been hit by a truck.She was given twilight sleep and had rembered some of what had happened during the abortion.It was horrable for her she started having nightmears and soon after that started useing meth.The state took her son from her and she was found O.D in the park.I lost a dear friend and I bleve it was becouse of thet abortion.I tryed to reach out to her sevral time but she was just out of my grasp.What im trying to say is it wont solve any of the issues you brought up it will just give you anouther one.If you feel you cant rase your baby their are thousands of childless cupples who would gladly adopt,open adoption is wonderfull I shuld Know I adopted my fourth child
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