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February 10, 2013 at 8:38 am #28811Larahurstwells
im new to this, so i don’t really know what to expect. 5 months ago i had a abortion, and i don’t know what to do and how to cope with it. it was the worse decision of my life! i cant cope, its killing me, it really is. it would be nice to know some people are in the same boat so i have someone to talk to, anyone please just say.
am i really a bad person for what i did?February 10, 2013 at 4:28 pm #28812Meg11
Hey there…To answer you, NO you are NOT a bad person for what you did….To sum it up, You were a scared person who did what she thought would help her situation, she did a bad thing, while not knowing the full magnitude of consequences, she did not know of the painful consequences…..Good people do bad things all the time….The thing we do is not what defines who we are…it is what we do AFTER that shows our character….Right now you are looking for help, that IS a good thing, Right now you are admitting that it WAS a bad idea, that IS a good thing, Right now you are open to advice and information….THAT IS WISE….So the character I see in who you are today, is that you are the kind of person who does not want to make the same mistake twice, the kind of person who knows that others can add to her knowledge, the kind of person who is NOT afraid to ask for help….You my dear are a humble young woman, a brave young woman and a wise young woman….I am SO sorry that you had to learn this all the hard way….The good news? There IS help, you are NOT alone….This website is a great first step, there are MANY other girls who share your pain here, I am sure some of them will even comment on this thread….Also, here is another great resource…http://optionline.org/ , Enter your postal code and it will give you the contact info for the Pregnancy Help Center nearest you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL post abortive counseling….One thing that I find many post abortive women have in common is this….they feel guilty about grieving their child….grief is something instilled in us to help us transition through the loss of someone we loved….when a woman aborts she often, even subconsciously denies herself the right to grieve…after all most of the time it is a choice she made so why does she deserve to grieve the one she chose to lose? I will tell you why you have every right to grieve….Because part of you LOVED this baby, part of you always will and that is ok….You didn’t know what would happen, you didn’t know you would feel this way…its too late now but there IS hope for healing and to grieve is an important part of that healing….I care for you and I hurt for you….I do not look at you as a bad person, simply a person who learned a very hard lesson and one who needs a lot of love and support….You have that here at Standupgirl and you will find that at your local Pregnancy Help Center as well….Much love to you and thank you for being brave enough to share with us! Love Meg
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