This topic contains 11 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by annemarie kelly .
- February 23, 2009 at 7:21 am #24215
I need quick advice about what to do in my situation. So I found out that I was around 8 weeks pregnant about a week ago. My partner and I weren’t expecting the results to come out at positive, but all three did, and so not I really don’t know what to do. I know that my heart’s telling me to keep the baby and not get an abortion, but my partner has a different view on the situation. He and I have been together for two and a half years now, and I honestly believed him to be the love of my life, but when he found out that I was possibly thinking of keeping the baby, he said that he was going to leave the city and that I was going to be on my own. His parents, too, feel that I hsould get an abortion because we’re young.. I know that if I had this baby he or she will be the turning point in my life. I know that this person will give me that extra push I need to complete my studies and become something worth being in the end of it all. I know that I’ll love my baby unconditionally, no matter what people think of me.. I know that I would do anything for my baby and if the daddy doesn’t want to be apart of his or her life, then I can deal with it. I have family and friends that are here to support me anyways.. I’m turning 18 in two weeks and he’s turning 19 in august. When his mom got pregnant with him she was my age, and she was going to get an abortion, but when she heard his heartbeat, she changed her mind. Why, because it’s a mother’s instinct. She told me that it was the best thing that happened to her and she wouldn’t take it back for the world because he’s her son. Now I’m in this situation, and she’s telling me to get an abortion because we’re too young and we won’t be able to handle it and I’m going to ruin her son’s life.. is she not just contradicting herself? She’s saying that I’m being selfish because I’m not looking at this situation from their point of view and only mine. I do see their point of view, but they don’t get it. She couldn’t go through the abortion because of the same reason I’m second guessing one. I’m really scared and nervous and I need help now. Please someone, help me decide on whether or not I should keep this baby..February 23, 2009 at 11:31 pm #24222
Hey there, My name is Meg and I think you should listen to that voice within you to keep your baby…I cannot believe that your boyfriends mom is telling you to get an abortion after what she went though….No matter what happens with his family I know you will make it and be a great mom…your maternal instinct is already kicking in to protect your baby…I don’t think you left this post because you really need advice on what to do, I think you left this post to find a way to back up wanting to keep this baby….I think you should…I know you should….I was 19 when I got pregnant the first time and 20 when I gave birth, you have so many resources available and if his family chooses to walk away then it is their loss, chances are once they see the ultrasound pics and once the baby is born then they will fall in love with this baby…you already have because you are this baby’s life source….it takes guys longer to come around…as for his mom she is selfishly looking at this and saying “if my son flakes out then I will be responsible to help support this baby”, sad but true…keep this blessing and allow yourself to love him/her without feeling guilty….please let me know what you are going to do and know that you have a ton of support here on Standupgirl, we all love you and are here every step of the way, even during the bumps in the road…Love MegFebruary 24, 2009 at 1:32 am #24226
Hello new friend,
Oh your story…how can I begin. It rings too familiar in today’s world. “They want me to, they think that I should, I’m afraid of what they’ll think…” It goes on and on, and I’m challenging you sweet girl to look beyond what others may say, feel or do as a result of your actions.
You already know the answers….I’ve read them. Take your post and cut out all the parts about everyone else….give it a try and read what’s left.:)
Be a leader my friend and trust in yourself.
As for the others, there’s a natural instinct in all humans to be who God created them to be. He also created us with a free will.
Now, we can chose to become who He wanted us to be, by listening to our hearts and following God’s call to us……which we would then be rewarded. Even after sinning, we can stop our sinful past by asking for forgiveness,amend our lives and still be rewarded.
Or sadly, we can pull away from HIS plan and exercise our free will. This usually leads to selfish actions, worldly desires, and the list goes on and on. This unfortunately leads to pain, suffering, feeling lost and empty……and we will find no solace in life. The yearning will not be satisfied…
This is the life after an abortion….this is the life your boyfriend and his mother want for you? They want YOU to live with THEIR decision. Nothing will ever justify having an abortion.
You’re family however, should be commended for standing behind you…..virtuous family life produces virtuous families. They’ve helped develop who you are so therefore you are open to life. Don’t change!! There’s not enough of young girls who are being brought up in families like yours. You are very fortunate to have been given these values of life…….
What is your bf’s mother talking about? You may not seem old enough in the eyes of the world by way of age or experience, but you have a better head on your shoulders than most.
I will pray for you and please stay in touch.
God bless you and your baby, (whom you love already)
myangelsinheavenFebruary 24, 2009 at 12:12 pm #24228
I know what you’re saying. I love my baby already, and my boyfriend and his parents, well mother actually, continually keep calling me and pressuring me into having an abortion. I haven’t been answering their calls, because I know that their pressure is only going to stress me out and I feel I need time to get my mind straight. I talked to my boyfriend today, and he seems more calm about the situation. He knows that he’s been pressuring me and he understands that I need time tomyself to figure things out. I know in the end of it all, I’m going to want to keep my baby, even if it means my whole life’s going to change. I don’t expect my wholel ife to be revolved around partying anyways, there’s a time in a person’s life when they grow up, and this is my time. My boyfriend told me that he knows that it’s going to be hard.. and he’s not ready to be a dad because he’s not sure if he can handle it, and I understand that. There obviously is that pressure when you realize that you’re soon to become a parent, but I know in my heart that if he loves me and wants to be with me like he claims to, he’ll be there for me in the end of it all. This week has been the hardest ones of my life, my family and I are having arguments about the whole situation involving my boyfriend and his parents, and my boyfriend and I are having arguments about why I’m being so “selfish” with my choices not to talk to his mother. Honestly, when they constantly call and threaten to come to my house because of this.. only makes me want to push them further and further away. I realize that they have a say in this as well, but all in all, it’s my decission and I’m not going to let anyone change my mind about what I feel is right in my heart. I need support. I think that’s why I wrote this in the first place. I’m happy you guys are there to help me through this, and I really appreciate it. 🙂February 24, 2009 at 5:44 pm #24239
Definitely take Meg’s advice! Abortion is NOT a good choice, it would destroy you as well as your baby.February 25, 2009 at 3:39 am #24254
Your decision is the only one that matters, for the life of your baby!!
Anyone can try and rationalize killing a baby for many reasons…..but there is only one simple answer not to…It goes against God!
You can make a difference in the life of your baby by acccepting the call to be a mother, and prove to the world that we do not want this in society any longer. One girl asked, “Why is abortion legal?” It’s because we’ve demanded it.
Each young girl facing the same decision as you, can walk away from the world’s ideas and be stronger, confident and help to bring about a new country where we do not murder our babies.
You have it inside you to be a mother…listen to your baby and your heart speak to you.
You are in my prayers this evening.
Your friend in Christ,
myangelsinheavenMarch 15, 2009 at 3:33 am #24452
I’m going to agree with the others again.
You want this baby but you have the added stress of them telling you what to do which shouldnt be the case. Geez your not that young. I had my first at 19 and i didnt feel young.
Anyway i dont think age is the barrier. Its maturity.
Men handle things like this in different ways maybe he wasnt thinking straight. sounds to me like he is warming to the idea but just scared about it. Get a scan and listen to the heartbeat and i bet it will change peoples minds.
The other option is Adoption but if you go with Abortion against your will, you will probably end up with depression which will end up with your relationship crumbling so choose wisely.March 26, 2009 at 6:01 am #24634
I’m christine im 21 years old and 3 months pregnant. The baby is yours and nobody elses you can do it on your own. STAY STRONG! you can do it on your own… people do it everyday. There are plenty of programs that will help you get food and medical care and everything else you need. God gave you the gift of life, TAKE IT it’s a beautiful thing PROMISE! look at all these women who care about you and your unborn child that is a sign—> you are not alone wether the boy stays or not. He had the drive to have sex and now he is scared of the consequence. He might come around if you keep him up on the progression of the baby…TRY IT, WITH LOVE christine … talk to you laterMarch 26, 2009 at 11:36 am #24636
You trust your instinct, you keep that baby.
Listen to what she said ” he was the best thing that ever happened to me ”
do not listen to anyone except for your self and people who support that decision. You are already on the right path.
You listen to your heart, and you already know what you want. You stick with that please.
No one can make you do anything. She will love that baby when she/he comes.
Her son knows what sex does, it makes babies.
He choose to have sex with you so he can take responsibility you already are.
So you make the doctors appointment, get the vitamins and start thinking for you and your baby.
I’m very proud that lots of the girls on here including you know what is right.
I promise you will never regret your baby, and you know that as well.
If you need someone to talk to I am here and so are all the other girls, we can help you get through this pregnancy. If you need support we will support. Congratulations and good luck.
Feel free too email me.March 30, 2009 at 9:08 am #24667
I believe you want to keep your baby and if thats what you really want to do then do it forget what anybody elses says people said alot of negative things to me and i cut them off maybe they’ll come around later but there are places that can help you out and sites like these . I really dont like the idea of abortion unless you have no choice and when your scared you may want to choose that option even though deep inside you want your baby but there is hope and there is a way to get through everything with the help of God.
Anyways good luck girl !April 24, 2009 at 7:19 am #24929
Don’t listen to anything that anyone on either side of the family tells you. You need to make that decision by yourself. My view, I think you should keep the baby, it gives you a good challenge and helps everyone grow up faster, sometimes good, sometimes not. It depends completely on the situation. Your boyfriend shouldn’t be saying to get an abortion, he contributed too, therefore he has just as much responsibility as you do. Abortion is not a form of birth control, and nor do I believe it should ever be used that way. Your 18 years old, I think you will be just fine with having the baby. Do what your heart tells you. I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 16 years old and had her when I was 17. Yeah there are challenges, but that is life. If your boyfriend has a problem with keeping your baby, well then he probably isn’t the right kind of guy to stick with. Either way he needs to help you out. I always here of girls getting extremely depressed after an abortion, and that is what happened with my cousin. Do what your heart tells you and do what you believe is right. Don’t let anyone make the decision for you.July 28, 2009 at 1:56 am #25537
hi my name is annemarie and i am new to this site i read your story and i found out i was pregnant with my first child when i was 21 when i told my boyfriend i was pregnant he just looked at me with shock on his face he dident even think about it he just turned around and told me to go to the doctors the next day and get an abortion i was completely shocked at him and my friends and family were against him saying that i cant do that so i decided to keep my baby wether he wanted to be involved or not so its a year later now and im happy with my decission and i love my baby son and as soon as my son was born my boyfriend came around to the idea of being a father and he loves his son more than anything now you should do wat your heart is telling you to do and dont listen to what other people tell you you know differently and if you have an abortion you will regret it for the rest of your life a child has the right to come into this world no matter what so go with your heart your boyfrind and his mum will come around to the idea of a new baby as soon as they see he or she they will forget what they ever said to you and they should apologise to you listen to your heart your friends and your family you might be young but you will be able to take care of the baby and be happy hope everything goes ok for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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