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April 1, 2005 at 10:39 am #7208Anonymous
I cant do this. I just cant do it. I need a break. I need a big break. Like a day long break. But I cant have one. Im so depressed. My baby takes everything out of me. Im supposed to go to college next spring but maybe i should give up. Im at the end of my rope. I just want to disappear. Run away and leave everything behind. And it hurts so bad to think these things and then look at that innocent little boy i made. He didnt ask for this. He didnt ask to be born to an 18 year old screw up who doesnt have her life together. I feel like i will just never make it. Never be able to give him a decent life. I wish I could just quit. Need some words of encouragement, pleeeease.April 2, 2005 at 2:09 am #7216Anonymous
DONT GIVE UP
You made it this far. Your doing the right things. By contiuing your education you child will look at you and be able to say my mommy did it all. She went to shool got her degree and took care of me.April 2, 2005 at 2:57 am #7217Anonymous
I’m 27 now with three boys and sometimes I still feel the VERY same way…hang in there, it’s worth it. If you think you’re an "18 year old screwup" imagine what I thought of myself. I was pregnant and alone at 15 had my son and never looked back or regretted it. I had my second son at 19 and my third at 25. It is hard but not impossible…if I can do it anyone can. You have to make your goals and do what you can to reach them. I have been married for nine years (not to my first sons bio. father), am not on welfare, own my own home, have two decent vehicles, both my husband (he is 25) and I have decent steady jobs and we have gotten this far by HANGING IN THERE. Our lives revolve around our boys (school, baseball, football, and everything else) but when you have children…that’s the way it’s got to be anyway (my opinion). There are going to be many "bumps" in your road but that doesn’t mean that the road ends…remember that. Also remember that what you feel is very normal…we are only human…I think about running away sometimes too only to realize once I’m gone what would I do without my kiddos??? I’d only be thinking of them the whole time! 🙂April 2, 2005 at 3:50 am #7219Anonymous
I could imagine the stress that has fallen on to you but don’t worry about it
cause it will pass and when you least expect it you’ll be able to do was right
In my case I was 18 yrs old when I met this guy started dating and I was studying medical assistant and then i left it i ended up pregnant by the end of the year so i decided to just let my family help me out after i gave birth i moved on with my life moved to a city where i know theres always work all the time i started working in an office there i met this guy we got to know eachother good first because i had bad experience this guy turned out to be the guy i wanted he bought a house for both of us and the coming baby and now i’m going to have my second baby i’m 21 yrs old and i’m going to study from home with pcdi is just like going to college except your studying at your own pace and the career i chose is paralegal and i’m happy to do that there’s always a way out in life dont be afraid of nothing thats to come and also remember theres a god who watches over us day and night you should try going to church and overcoming all this because having a baby is the most precious gift of god have faith don’t go crazy and runaway from reality no matter what its still there my experience of being a mother and having another one is wonderful you could still go forward no matter what still give them a future remember the future is not on whatever we do for ourselves is whatever we tell them to be someday for the day of tomorrow cause this life is hard thats why no matter how tough we think we are we still need god in our lives go to church you’ll never forget my advice and have that adorable baby once you have that baby in your hands you’ll whole life will change and you will become even more responsible because a baby requires alot from a mother.well god bless you anytime you want to talk about anything just email me i’ll respond to you anytime. 🙂 smile god loves you.April 2, 2005 at 5:14 am #7220Anonymous
Robin, You know what you are not the only one out there that feels like running away and taking off. Trust me sweety every single mother, or mother goes threw it. I am 24 years old and I have a 2 year old daughter, and I am 4.5 months pg with another baby. Let me add from 2 different fathers. There are days that I remember putting my baby girl to bed and sitting there crying because I was doing this all on my own and she took up every ounce of time and energy. I couldn’t even have a shower till like 10:00 pm and half the time I was to tired to do it then. But then there are days that you look at your baby smilling at you putting their arms in the air wanting to be held that you melt and wonder what you were before you had them. It is so hard and the only person that can understand is another mother, and it is so true that it does suck a lot of the time. But in the end when you are putting them to bed and you see them snuggling into their warm blanket, it takes all the strength you have no to cry from watching this beautiful child that you love so much, and who also drives you crazy on a daily basis fall asleep.
You will get through this just like we all will get through it, it just takes time and paitence. Have a night out with some friends or family, and have sometime to yourself I know it is easier said then done but you have to have the time to yourself every now and then so you do not have a breakdown. I did and let me tell you it was’t pretty. for six months after my daughter was born I never went or did anything with out her. When my mother came for a visit, for a week I stayed in bed for 4 days crying, because I was so tired and worn out. You just have to ask for help it doesn’t make you a bad mother nor a bad person to say I need sometime to myself. You will be no good to your baby if you get too wron out that you can’t take care of him. Just take care and know that it does get easier. If you want to email me you can.April 2, 2005 at 6:04 am #7221Anonymous
First of all, you are NOT a screw up. You are beautiful and unselfish because you decided to bring your baby boy in the world. Mothers, no matter the age are strong women. Nobody said that being a young mother would be easy. I read in a magazine that the first year, especially the first six weeks can be tiring and draining. Ask God for peace of mind, strength, and endurance. He can help you in the ways that you wouldn’t even imagine. It is still very possible for you to achieve all of your dreams, but you might not be able to do them right when you want to. Don’t give up! Remember, you’re not alone.April 2, 2005 at 6:06 am #7222Anonymous
i know exactly where you are coming from i am 21 years old and 5 months pregnant and it has not been easy. there have been many days and nights that i just break down and cry, because out of all the times i’ve needed someone(especially the baby’s father) it seems like everyone has turned their back on me including him. most people ae lucky to have a mother to comfort them, but my mother died when i was 6. Anyways, i had to find strength within myself to go on and know that this baby gives me even the more reason. i know what i want for her and it is up to me to get it. SO go to school and make a life for you and your child because you are the only one that can do it. don’t let people get you down, don’t even sit there and feel sory for yourself. your baby is a gift and is not a hinder to your life more like a pusher. Although for a minute my whole life turned upside down and i felt like i couldn’t go on but i was soon to realize what was really important. what’s done is done now we have to prepare. don’t get me wrog i still have my downs days and i feel like i’m making a mistake by keeping this baby but i soon realize that this is going to change my life for te best. it will be hard but i’m ready. REMEMBER: What don’t kill us only makes us stronger. and one day you’ll be telling someone your story and how it is important not to give up because you will have by then accomplished so much. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!!!!April 2, 2005 at 6:59 am #7226Tarsha05
There are no words of encouragement your baby is the only encouragement you need. Relax don’t let things get to you, just remember that you love your baby and you love yourself. Also you will do anything for your baby and yourself. Just take your time believe at the end it will be worth it. 🙂 Just smile at yourself and your baby. Thats your baby and yourself that everything will be okay.April 2, 2005 at 10:44 am #7230Anonymous
Thank you all so much for everything you said. It was hard not to cry when I was reading it all. Your comments made me feel better. I know I can do this, its just really hard. It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I think what gets to me the most is when I go to a store and buy formula or diapers and people look at me like im crazy. And once an old lady saw me with my baby in a store and I heard her say to her friend "what is SHE doing with a baby. How could she take it out in this weather!?" Well, sorry lady, I dont have a man to help me out. Thats hard stuff. But, reading all your responses helps me remember that im not alone- that there are other girls doing just what im doing, going through what im going through, and making it. It helps me have the strength to go on. Thanks so much. You guys are awesome people.April 5, 2005 at 5:40 am #7250Anonymous
Hi, I know how you feel. I have three children and have been on my own since my husband threw me out just before my youngesyt child was born. My daughter (aged 2) is disabled and I spend much ofmy time in and out of hospital with her, and my youngest son also has health problems.
I really want to encourage you to hang on in there, It can only get better. Your son will not be a baby all his life. I have been through some very difficult times as you can well imagine and through those difficult times my faith in God has helped me through. Romans 8:28 says "All things work together for the good of them who love the Lord." and throughout the Bible The Lord continuously reminds us that "He will never leave us nor forsake us." Having God in my life does not mean that You wont have problems. It just means that they will be much easier to face.
Please dont keep on refering to yourself as a "screw-up" You were created in the image and likeness of The Living God, He doesn’t make screw-ups.
Things are hard for you, I can understand, but it will get better. Dont Give Up!August 2, 2005 at 7:35 am #8949BigAlsMom02
You CAN do this!!! You probably do need a break. Being a parent is really tough especially if you’re doing it alone. Do you have anyone that can take your baby for a little while? If I lived anywhere near you I’d do it. Have you ever been diagnosed with clinical depression? Or maybe you have post partum depression. You aren’t a screw up. You have such a big heart that you chose to bring a child into this world! . I suffer from depression and somedays I feel like I can’t go on, but I do and I do it for my son. Please don’t give up!
Post edited by: Julie, at: 2005/08/01 21:32
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