I just dont know:/

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  • #20873
    Avatarkaybabyy

    :dry: Ok. i’m keira and im 13. i really want to have a baby. but i dont know what to do. i dont like to be told what to do with my lfe, but his situation i can deal with it. I have a wonderful boyfriend that loves me and is ready to take on any challenge i throw out to him or surprise him with. most people say kids at the age of 13, 14, 15, and 16 cant deal wiith the pressure of a baby, they can hardly deal with themselves. i dont think thats true. we are fully capable of dealin with others if we feel like it. i really want a baby. i just dont know what to do. advice?

    #20886
    AvatarqueenB

    I agree with you. Women at a young age are capable of being a great mother to their child.

    At this point in time, I would think about what would be best for your child. You’ve given a lot of reasons why this would be a good thing for you to have a baby, but why would this be a good time for a baby to be born to you?

    I am so grateful for my parents. They were not girlfriend and boyfriend when they started having children. They were married. I am so grateful to them for that.

    Not only did they wait until they were married, they waited until my dad was completely done with grad school before they started having children. They wanted to give the best to my sister and me. My dad knew that he would not be able to provide for us if he were still a student. Could he have provided for us as a student? Sure. But he wanted to do what was better (finish college). He loves my sister and me so much that he wanted to give us the BEST not second best.

    I would sit down and think about what it means to give your baby the best. This means different things to different people. Ask yourself what kind of environment you would like to be born into.

    Lastly, don’t forget to run this by your parents or his parents. If you choose to have a baby you will definitely need their help and support.

    Love ya.

    #20888
    Avatarkaybabyy

    thanks soo much for the advice. i just really need someone to talk to. i dont know how to deal with these feelings of wanting a baby at a young age. am i crazy or something? i just dont know:/

    #20889
    AvatarqueenB

    These feelings that you are having are ok. It is normal. We all have maternal instincts.

    Have you considered getting a job or volunteering at a daycare. I think that would be a great outlet. It would teach you so much about being a mother. Plus at the end of the day, you can leave the kids there!

    #20890
    AvatarSarahSmiles

    I agree with qeenB. Your feelings are more than normal. I’ve wanted a baby more than anything for as long as I could remember.

    Try babysitting, daycares or even going to the play ground and playing with other kids. Who knows, maybe it’ll help assuage that overwhelming urge to be a mommy.

    #20891
    Avatarinsubordinateximpx09

    i wont say anything about u wanting to have a baby, but waiting would be a good idea…instead of having your own baby, maybe watching younger siblings or nieces or nephews or neighbors or something would be a good alternative…you get all the fun stuff that comes with having a baby, without being totally responsible and having to deal with a baby while at school and stuff like that…i hope i didn’t offend you or anything, cuz i do know how you feel…

    #20893
    Avatarjustkeepsmilin

    Hiyah
    I think You Should Wait Till Your A Bit Older And You have Settled Down Got Ur Own Place And mOney I got pregnant y accident But I decided To keep My Bby I am 17 and tell U She Int He re Yet and it Int Easi Think How Much More You Will Have To Offer Ur Baby If U Wait Till U have More Money and R a bit Older Many Girls Want Bbys Wen Thy R so Young But My Advice Is wait go Out With ur Friends Spend Tymhaving Fun With Ur Bf And When Ur older U can Have A Baby I dnt Regret Gettig pregnant But Du think I shud Ov Bin older As It would B easier As I would Have Done Evrything I wanted To with My Life Hop Tjis Helps GudLuck With Watevah U Choose xxxx

    #20897
    Avatarkaybabyy

    Thanks everyone for advice:D its hard for me to make a desiscion. im still confused about this tho.

    #20907
    AvatarMerla

    Hey honey,

    I know what your feeling, I want a baby too, granted there is a fair difference in our age, thats besides the point. Wanting to have a child is normal, its a maternial feeling that a lot of women get, some get it when they are in there late 30’s, whilst others get it as soon as they hit puberty.

    Im not here to tell you what you should and shouldnt do, however, consider the two senarios.

    If you have a baby now, then you have to be pregnant for 9 months first, right? It makes you REALLY tired!, not to mention possible morning sickness, this can make even going to school whilst pregnant seem like a huge amount of effort. When your at school, you will have to deal with everyone too, lots of people can lose friends (the really good friends stick around, but quite a few dont), and people like to talk. Whilst this is something that you can deal with, and they should really mind there own buisness, it dosnt always happen. Do you want to deal with this by choice?
    You will chose a time to take off school, once you far enough along, then have your bub, and when they are only 6 weeks old, you have to leave them every day for 8 hours (you could get home schooled, but then there loneliness issues, and whether your parents/education system would allow it). Could you leave your new born baby with someone else all day every day? Yes you could, but I wouldnt "want" to. Your alos reliant on your own parents to care/pay for your baby. You cant work, go to school, and raise your child (well you can, but you would be superwoman) are you ok with chosing to force your parents to support your child that you chose to have? When you get home tired from school you have your darling little one back, whos cranky, and hungry. So there goes your evening and your sleep. Then at 7am the next morning, its off to school again. Whilst all this is doable, and there are some amazing young women on here who do it everyday, and make fantastic mothers, would you want to make life harder for yourself?

    Senario two: Your 18 years old (yes, still a young mum), you have just finished highschool and moved out of home. Your boyfriend and you are talking about having a baby, and getting married sometime soon. So you both decide to take a couple of years off and start your family young, then go to college when your children start school. You get pregnant, your both so happy (your parents and familys will still have there own oppinions) your going to have the baby you have wanted for so long. So you keep working up until you take your leave so you have lots of money saved up. The girls at work talk a bit, but they are more interested in rubbing your belly and going mooshy over the baby clothes you have brought. You decorate the babys room the way you want. When they finally arrive, everyone is so happy, they are of course your darling baby. You have no pressure about when you want to go to college or start working again. If you want to spend 3 years at home with them you can, and if you want to get straight back into your degree you can to. Its still hard, but your supporting yourself, and you and your boyfriend are raising this child in a loving home that you have created together.

    Think about it, its 5 years to wait, but is it worth the wait?

    #21202
    AvatarAnonymous

    Hey hunny,
    I had my daughter at 17… I was a junior in High School, everyone told me it was wrong and my parents tried to give her up, but I couldn’t. I had her in my life for 2 amazing years. I gave up my future and my goals to be a mom (which happens sadly) I don’t ever regret having her. EVER. Although, my daughter died almost exactly a year ago of pnemonia. She apparently had a weak immune system and it progressed rapidly before they could do anything… I miss her more that words can say. I sometimes wonder, if I had given her to that adoptive family would she have been better off??? with more medical care? money? responsible parents? was I selfish? these are all the things you need to think about before bringing a child into this world. If you had a baby at 13 what kind of life could you give it? I live in guilt everyday wondering if there wasn’t something i could have done better or more efficient…I go to college now and life will never be the same. When you have a baby it takes your freedom away… its worth it, but make sure you understand the responsibility of a child. Living with myself and my doubts is horrible, and i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy…sorry if this comment is intense.. i just wish someone would have talk to me before I kept my baby…

    #21204
    AvatarMeg11

    I agree with Devyn, there is so much more to having a baby (which turns into a child, teenager adult) then the physical needs like diaper changes and feedings…I could not imagine going through what Devyn did at my age and I am 26 with a great deal of life under my belt…13 years old is a hard age to have to face such real life issues about another human life that is your 100% responsibility…in the event of a young girl accidentally falling pregnant I think she needs to do her best to either raise the baby or choose a wonderful adoptive family, abortion should never be the option but to purposefully try for a baby when you are not physically and emotionally able to provide is really a selfish thing to do, if your child were to fall ill could you drive to the hospital yourself? Nope you would have to ask for help, take a bus or have cab fare…you still have like 5 years of school left right?? Could you imagine trying to balance your child’s kindergarten class schedule during your senior year, his/her school carnival would happen to fall on prom night, parent teacher conferences for your child could end up being during finals week I mean there are so many things you need to consider, not just briefly think about and say "well my parents would" or "I could get a sitter" or "my kids will never remember that I missed their school play for prom night" A baby doesn’t stay a baby forever, this child you so desperately want will turn into a child, teenager and then adult, there are feelings and emotions and questions and crisis that come up in our lives, can you handle being the one to fix all of that at 13…I have a hard time now at 26 and I am not in school, I am a stay home mom and I am married, no one is ever truly ready for kids but if you want a successful family one day then you should wait longer and prepare yourself further, like I said no one is ever truly ready but you can be much more prepared…enjoy being a teen for now, baby sit, help other teen moms, get a pet or a plant to take care of but spare yourself some complications and spare your future family some turmoil and please just wait…Meg

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