i dont know what to do!!!!!!!! please respond

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This topic contains 18 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by eveattalee meghan .

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  • #10088

    Anonymous

    i just turned 18 on christmas and i have a problem. well at least i think i do. my last period was oct. 25th. i skipped my november period. i was supposed to get my dec period yesterday ( i am on the pill) it hasnt come still. i am so nervous. espcially because i did cocaine recently, several times and also i smoke weed at least once a week. i know i am not pregnant i know it!!!!! but i am scared and i wanna go out n have fun but i dont want a retarded baby either. i have been sick for a while and i just dont know what to do. obviously, i should take a test but i know once i do i cant smoke or anything and that will be hard. also, i cannot raise a child alone and im afraid of continuing the pregnancy and then ending up alone with a baby. i wanna know for sure but it will totally change my life and im scared. should i wait longer to test???? any advice would be great

    #10093

    Anonymous

    You should definately take a test. If not for you for that unborn baby. It is not the childs fault. If you are pregnant, you have to stop being selfish, give up the drugs and take care of that baby. Trust me… there is no high better than the high of seeing your body change, feeling your baby move, and seeing and holding your baby for the first time. It is a ture eye opener. And the things that you are doing now are going to get you nowhere, trust me I been there. I now have a 2 year old and am expecting my second. Nothing I have ever done makes me feel better than when my son comes to me or just wraps his arms around me and gives me a kiss. Trust me all that partying is worth giving up in the end.

    #10095

    Anonymous

    whether you take the test or not and you are pregnant you will hurt your baby..not taking a test does not stop the effects of your bad habit. you need to know, and you need to quit drugs, even if you aren’t pregnant. If doing drugs is the only way you know how to have fun then you need to reevaluate yourself and your friends. I am 36 1/2 weeks pregnant and i am 21. I found out I was expecting on my 21st birthday, the day most people dream of, but instead of hanging out and going to parties i decided what was more important, my innocent, special, and unborn child.. You need to find out and make the right desicion for your baby, the person who will love you no matter what.

    #10097

    Anonymous

    I would have thought that if your last period was in October thats plenty of time to do a test and get a ‘true’ reading. It might be that the drug taking has affected your system. I don’t know much about the effects drug use has on our ‘womanly bits’ but it could be that. iF you are really that sure youre not pg then there will be nothing lost from doing a home test.

    #10099

    Anonymous

    hey katie-
    look i sort of know what you’re going through. I just turned 18 last may and i’m now going to college. unlike you i do not do drugs, however i do tend to drink whenever i go out. right now i too am scared of being pregnant and i’m going to take the test this weekend.

    i know it will be hard to face the truth. however, the test could reveal that you are not pregnant. you say that you don’t want to give up smoking weed and having fun. that of course is one of my worries too. i’m not saying that i support the use of drugs but it would only be 9 months max that you would have to go without drugs. and also u say u don’t want to be alone to raise the child, there are many other options. There is always adoption and in some cases you could even do an "open" adoption and still have some contact with the family and the child.

    These are just a few other options you could look into before making your final decision.

    And one more thing: TAKE THE TEST ASAP!!!!!

    #10100

    Anonymous

    🙂 I just turned 19 and I found out on my birthday that I was two months pregnant. I was smoking weed and cigs at the time, but after I found out about the pregnancy I decided to stop. I know u r afraid and so am i, but don’t punish "the baby"(get a test to make sure!!!)My mother still has no idea that I’m knocked up by a 30 year old guy. Fun is great, yeah i know, but a baby,Your Baby, deserves a chance at life. Don’t let your fear take away one of the greatest blessings anybody could receive! 😉

    #10103
    Kit
    kate Sydik

    Katie,

    If it has been two months since your last pregnancy I would take a pregnancy test ASAP to find out whether you are pregnant or not. If you are pregnant then you will need to stop taking drugs for the sake of the baby. Even if you are not pregnant I would advise that you quit taking drugs (at least cocaine if not the marijuana also – cocaine can kill you – It’s just not worth it!). I know that quitting drugs is not easy. You might want to seek help in quitting drugs. Also if you are pregnant do not be afrid to discuss the drug issue with your doctor. Don’t cast too much blame on yourself for what you did before you suspected you might be pregnant, but since there is a good chance that you might be pregnant you should try to change your behaviour in the future for the sake of the baby. Your lifestyle will be changed by having a baby. Adoption is always a loving and viable option also.

    Kate

    #10110
    kashton2005
    KATHRYN

    Hi,

    Im turned 19 in April of this year, and just found out that i was pregnant, My last period was the 24th October and im now 7 weeks. So i have a similar cycle too you! I know what your thinking and feeling as i have been there myself im also young but if you class yourself old enough to have sex then you should be able to accept the consequences that come along with it. Im not having a go just giving you some advice. Obviously smoking and taking drugs are not good for your health pregnant or not, and if you are and you want to keep the baby then yes you do have to stop, it wont be easy, but there are places that you can go to and people that you can talk to that will give you help and support i found that by talking to some of the girls on here its a great help! If you know who the father is, then i think that you should tell him, and you never know he might be willing to help, if not then he does have to give you some sort of child support so your not completely struggling. I would do a test see what the results are and then go make an appoinement with your Doctor and have a chat and let them explain what your options are to you, thats what i did and things became alot more clearer. I decided to keep my baby im engaged to the father now. Im still only 19 and know that my life will change, but i know that one day i will see that it was for the best! If you need to ask me any more questions then feel free. Hope things work out for you! x

    Post edited by: Julie, at: 2006/01/01 23:03

    #10120

    Anonymous

    I know what u mean but u have to be responsible and take a test remember the pill is only 99% effictive there is still that 1%. i just say take a test

    #10130
    Mommy2Hailey
    Danielle

    My name is Danielle, I’m 18 an I wave a 13 month old daughter named Hailey. You need to take a test and you need to do it right away! I was on birth control when I got pregnant. And if you havent had a period in 2 months and your getting sick, those are very good indications. I know your scared but if your pregnant, you have a very big decision to make, and the longer you wait, the less time you have to make that decision. And what are you doin cocaine for!? Especially when you know you might be pregnant! That stuff is stupid and you can be so much better than that. As for smoking weed, thats not smart either, again, because you know you might be pregnant. I used to smoke weed too, but I quit way befor I was pregnant just because I decided it wasn’t for me anymore. Weed doesn’t have anything in it that is addicting, so you really shouldn’t have trouble quitting that. The longer you wait, the more damage you could be doing to your baby if you are pregnant so you need to take a pregnancy test now! As for your options if you are pregnant, obviously, you can go through with the pregnancy and keep your baby, if that’s what you want. This would require alot of responsability, and you may need some help with expenses and stuff. I have alot of help from family because that’s what I decided and it’s hard sometimes, but I feel that my daughter is well worth it. You have the option of abortion, however I would think long and hard about this decision. Abortion may seem like a way you can forget the whole thing happened but for alot of girls, the memory and guilt follows them forever. You might want to read some peoples stories about their experiences with abortion before you decide to do it if you do. Or, you could go through with the pregnancy, and give your baby up for adoption. This can also be very hard, but there are thousands of couples who are waiting to adopt. You can have an open adoption, where you get to be a part of your baby’s life, or you could decide to have no contact. Again, you really need to take a test as soon as possible. It’s very important to know, and if you are you need to see a doctor right away. I hope this has helped you some. Good luck to you.

    Danielle
    Hailey Jade 11/23/04

    #10132

    Anonymous

    Dea Katie~ here’s some advice, but I need to tell you first that my best friend has been in your shoes. I’ll say her name is *Sam. Sam had smoked pot a lot when we were in high school, and also did coke. I never did the drugs, but I was always with her, just to look out for her when she was at parties, and she would often stay the night at my house afterwards. Anyway, that was 4 years ago and she regrets those decisions to this day. Because she smoked up at least twice a week, her grades in college dropped our first semester. Finally she admitted that she had a problem, and said she was going to quit, and I agreed to keep her accountable. It was pretty hard for her at first, but the biggest thing that helped her out was finding other friends. not just any friends, but people she knew that weren’t associated with drugs. As for the coke, she quit that as well after she went to a drug seminar and saw pictures of what it did to people (inside and out) after they had being doing it for a 6 month period. So my first suggestion would be to stop smoking and doing coke. It’s not going to help you at all in the long run, and not only will it damage your baby (IF you’re pregnant) but it will also continue to damage you. If you are pregnant, it will be very hard to pay for drugs and a baby..i know that sounds harsh, but it’s the truth. Also, if you have a baby, you won’t be alone because it will be right there with you, and believe it or not, you will learn so much from the baby and just the experience of having a baby; but if you aren’t ready for the responsibility then what you do is your choice (IF you’re pregnant), but I know that there are soooo many women out there who can’t have children and it’s so sad for them. A girl in my high school got pregnant and she just wasn’t ready to be a mom, BUT she didn’t have an abortion, and when she delivered the baby, she already had a family who basically had already adopted the baby. She still has mixed emotions about the whole thing-part of her wanted to keep it, part of her is glad she gave it for adoption; but in the long run, she and the baby are better off where they are, because there wasn’t any way that she could’ve given it the time and care that it needed. You should also take a pregnancy test. You never know until you take it. Everything will be ok and work out how it should.. Have faith, even when it’s hard to. I’ll be thinking and praying for you. Keep everyone up to date and good luck!

    #10140

    Anonymous

    dear katie,
    i just finished readin ur letter. i no ur scared to do the test and i dont blame u i’d be scared to. but while ur working up the courage ease up on the drinkin n drugs its not good for u n if u r preg for ur child as well. if it turns out u r sweet u need to tell someone never make a decision on ur own about this, there is three options if u r of course theres abortion, adoption or keeping ur child. myself personally if u were me i’d keep my child i dont believe in abortion as if u are two months along ur baby has a heart beat, brain, hands, eyes, feet its already a child in a few weeks ur child will be able to smile even giggle in ur belly
    all the best,
    kylie

    Post edited by: Julie, at: 2006/01/01 22:58

    #10142
    BabyJay0107
    Jay

    I think you better go get a pregnancy test A.S.A.P, if you dont want to buy a home test go to a clinic and they do it for free. Bur even though you on the pill that don’t mean a thing really because I was on birth control and used condoms and I just found out im 2-3 weeks pregnant. Plus you mentioned that you was doing drugs!!! Thats not a good thing and maybe thats why your period is late also because you not suppose to be doing drugs while you on the pill either. But just to be on the safe side go get a pregnancy test done and stop doing drugs.

    #10143

    Anonymous

    I totally understand your concern! Although I am a 35 year old single mom. I was faced with a possible pregnancy at a time when it just wasn’t ok. I do not do drugs but was about to embark on a new adventure in life. Anyway, I found out I am pregnant and was 7 weeks when I found out. I looked at the pictures on this website as to how big the fetus is and it changed my mind. I was considering terminating the pregnancy, but after I saw, eyes, fingers and toes I couldn’t. I had to make a life change and quick! The advise I give you is go in and get a pregnancy test. Besides, there are always people who want to adopt a newborn baby. Stay clean for 9 months and give the baby to someone who can raise the baby for you. You will feel better for doing that than early termination. Good luck!

    Post edited by: Julie, at: 2006/01/01 22:55

    #10144
    jess22402
    Jessica

    are your periods normally irregular…cuz to me it sounds like u really could be pregnant…but why wait to quit the drugs and stuff until u take a pregnancy test…its just more of a risk for your child. also do u have any family that can help u through this? stay off the drugs for a few months and have you considered adoption if ur not ready to raise a baby…you can always have an open one that way u can still be in contact and have a relationship with him/her

    #10145

    Anonymous

    I know you’re scared but you can’t walk around like there’s nothing going on in your life.Look I’m a single mom and no it is not easy but it pays off at the end of the day I always have my babys to come home to.
    I do think you should get tested right away the sooner the better, so you can take care of yourself and your baby.now if you do not want to get tested is because you already know that you’re pregnant,don’t look at this as a problem, its more of a blessing have you thought about how many couples are out there that cannot conceive,and you, you have that little bundle of joy inside I’m sure that if you take a little time you will make the right decision.

    #10151

    Anonymous

    Ok so i was just scrolling around on this website and saw your message and thought i would put my 2 cents in as i was recently a single mother of my daughter. I would definately test ASAP, you dont want to hurt this child. You have many options once you find out whether or not you are pregnant. Adoption is an option, there are many people that are looking to adopt if you think you wont be able to care for this baby the way it should be taken care of. And there are a lot of success stories on adoption. But honestly when i first found out that i was pregnant with my daughter i didnt know what would happen down the road. Once you hear that babies heartbeat or go in for that ultrasound you will think, this is my child. It will be very hard to give up. I’ve since been engaged and am going to have my second child and i am only 21. I had my first at 19 and i wouldnt change anything for the world. I hope this helps you out, good luck with your decision but i know it will just come to you.

    Post edited by: Julie, at: 2006/01/01 22:53

    #10176

    Anonymous

    its katie again. thank you for all the advice. i am glad to say that i have stayed away from the coke and i dont intend to do it ever again. i still havent gotten my period, but i did take a test. it was negative. so i think everything is going to be fine.

    #10201
    eveattalee
    meghan

    its good that you say your gonna stay off the coke but you need to mean it. ive never done drugs. ever. ive never drank anything remotly alcoholic or smoked any cigarettes. im not a pansy, i was alwyas working 3 jobs there was no time for that nonesense. my boyfriend was a crack addict for 7 years. he tried for that whole last year to stop. you cant do it alone and you cant do it if its only halfhearted

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