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August 14, 2008 at 6:37 am #21899dontno
my husband and I have been having some problems, a lot actually, and besides feeling too weak to leave him I turned to a friend. Now I’m pregnant, and it is like my husband as turned a switch because he is really trying to make things work only now I found out I”m pregnant and I know that it is not his, I know this because my husband has a problem. We are not sure what it is exactly but we can’t get pregnant and that is one of the issues we had been arguing about. I love him I do and we have so much invested I just no that if he would find out that it would be the end and I can’t bare to hurt him so I’ve decieded to terminate the pregnancy I’m just scared I just need some help.August 20, 2008 at 1:42 am #21944Anonymous
Please don’t terminate the pregnancy!
If your marriage was having a hard time and is now getting a little better getting rid of the baby will only make things get worse.
It is still possible that the baby is his, even though he has a problem.
Friends of our family couldn’t have babies and then suddenly one day she was pregnant (and I know for a fact that she wasn’t cheating).
(You could always have genetic testing done after the baby’s born to see if it is his or not.)
Your marriage may not be doing good, but having an abortion will be the death knell. You will always hate your husband because you will feel that he forced you to get an abortion.
Just please think about it first, ok?
Good luck hun! Hugs!August 20, 2008 at 3:29 am #21949Meg11
First things first, no matter who the father is you are the mother….this is your child. Yes turning to another man is wrong and now you have to face your consequences, but…there is always room for forgiveness if you seek it out. Two wrongs do not make a right and by “terminating” this “pregnancy” aka deliberately ending the life of YOUR child you will onily find that you will have more resentment towards your husband. Here is a scenario…you get an abortion and you and your husband work things out and you never tell him about the affair or the baby, you will suffer and hurt inside about the loss of your baby and if in fact you cannot have children together then you will never have a baby again and you will secretly resent him for not being able to give you a baby and you will tear yourself apart daily for “getting rid of” your one and only chance to carry that precious life within your womb…chances are it will end up tearing your “fixed up” marriage apart…scenario two, you go to him and admit the affair and ask his forgiveness and completely break all contact with this other man and take the steps needed to relieve any temptation to find another down the road, you A, will be forgiven and you and your husband can raise this baby together and never tell the other guy about the baby, B, your husband refuses to forgive you and you end up in divorce, you will still have the baby that you have longed for enough to fight about it with your husband and you will have the option to tell the father and maybe work things out with him or just go it alone, it is not impossible to be a single mom theses days, there is tons of support….I would go with option A if at all possible. I watched an video on youtube about a woman who was raped at knife point in her home while her husband was out with some friends, she chose to keep the baby and after a while her husband could not handle it and he left her and their 2 kids, she stuck it out and has raised the child that was a product of a terrifying rape and she has no regrets…there is a chance that your husband may want you to get an abortion but it will only eat you up down the road…just come clean and do your best to make better choices for you and this baby…the two of you matter most right now…your husband will be hurt no doubt but you have to take one step at a time and your marriage is worth saving…who knows, maybe your husband will get over this and love the baby just as his own?? I hope this offers some encouragement…please don’t do anything you will regret more than you already do…Love Meg
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