This topic contains 6 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by Alice Cooper .
- June 7, 2011 at 5:14 pm #28243
I am 22 weeks pregnant, and I have been on and off with the baby’s dad for 2 years, but lately we are on one of our off periods. I had been contemplating abortion for a long time, but deep down I don’t believe it’s right for me, but now that I’m half way through the pregnancy I know I want to keep it.
I told the baby’s dad the day after I found out (at 7 weeks) and he has always told me he wants an abortion but said it was all my choice, however for the past week he has been saying I have no choice and I must have an abortion because he is going through so much with he’s family.
I know abortion will benefit him and if I knew earlier it would affect him so badly I would have had an abortion, but if I have the abortion now it would just destroy me mentally but I don’t want to be the one to put him through so much stress.
I know its my choice but isn’t it wrong to completly ignor he’s opinions too.June 8, 2011 at 12:45 am #28245
You should always take into consideration your partners feelings, but he is not taking into consideration your feelings.
If you want to keep your baby, he shouldn’t and can’t stop you and you shouldn’t feel guilty for it. Despite his family issues, you should not have an abortion just because he says so. His issues may be temporary and things may change, which he may regret as well as you.
Plus you should explain to him at 22 weeks I think you will find it very difficult to find a doctor that will perform an abortion, they are very very rare and considered highly unethical, as the fetus is viable (can survive) as early as 23 weeks outside the womb. If you live in the US, after the 20th week abortion is often not an option (depends which state) unless your health is at risk. If you live in somewhere like the UK, many counties won’t give abortions even after the 12th week. But in other countries I am not sure of the law.
Don’t feel pressured, do what you want to do. By your post here, it’s clear that you are not ignoring his opinions, you’re considering them and making a decision.
I hope everything goes well for you,
IzziJune 8, 2011 at 2:01 am #28246
I dont think you could get an abortion now, i think your too far along. You can always give the baby up for adoption, or you can keep the child and raise him your self.June 8, 2011 at 2:48 pm #28247
im so sorry youre goin through this.
i had an early abortion, and it affected my whole life, and after YEARS of feeling awfull, i am slowly startin to forgive myself for what i did.
but late abortions, i am agains them, why? my girls were born around 23 weeks, they were ALIVE, and they are completely formed, not just a fetus like a baby is at 7 weeks.
what i am tryin to say is, if you got to 22 weeks, you made your decision, you WANT this baby, do not go through an abortion cause life would be easier for your SO after it, because it surely wouldnt be easy for you…
GOOD LUCKJune 8, 2011 at 9:34 pm #28249
I agree, I would have more ok with having an abortion before 10 weeks, but I told him over and over again that I’m half way and I can’t have an abortion (because I simply do not want to sign to have a doctor tear my baby apart) and he said that was not a good enough reaosn, I’ve been feeling so guilty and he was on the phone to me for 3 ours trying to convince me to get it done.
I live in the Uk and here it is legal till 24 weeks, I really think it should be lowered. So I would have 2 days left where I can do itSeptember 28, 2011 at 9:34 pm #28355
Follow your heart. I’m in the same position and ive chosen what i want and thats to keep the baby. He’ll change when he holds the baby for the first time, love like that is unconditional. hope it goes well for you xNovember 11, 2011 at 11:00 am #28392
I agree with you. Once the baby will be in the Dad’s hand, he will forget everything. He will become equally caring as you and love the child also. May be now he’s bit confused about what he wants to do, and stressed out of family problems. But gradually everything will become alright.
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