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January 27, 2008 at 7:36 am #20324alexmx
I Really need someone to talk right now, see i dont have any girlfriends and i just need to empty my heart from all these…
You see … lately ive been having lots of problems with my boyfriend… hes always telling me that im fat, that i have a big belly, that i am grumpy, and i hate when he tells me that and then he just says that hes just kidding, but even though he says that i fell bad from all those things, how can you call FAT to an anorexic girl who just had her baby 3 months ago, im finding it really hard to overcome this eating disorder, and he just doesnt help, well he doesnt knows that im still dealing with anorexia and bulimia, but still he’s not supposed to tell me all this things… hes always critizizing me about how i take care of our baby girl, im doing my best, and he treats me like im a crappy mom, that i dont take good care of my baby, that i do this and that wrong… and this really makes me mad cause, hes still living hes life as a teen, and here I am being a mom 24/7 and hes a dad just a couple days of the week for a few hours, he doesnt have to stay up all night when the baby is crying, or take care of her cause she is sick, or get up really early cause she is hungry, and besides all that he tells me im not a good mom, and when i tell him im doing my best that i feel hurt from what hes saying he says that its not that im not a good mom, but that i cant be better….WhaT TH f#%$ DOES THIS MEAN???…
And other thing that I hate is that hes beena real jerk with the sex thing, see its been three months since i had my lil girl, but we havent had sex since i was 3 months preg, and i still dont feel in mood for sex, i really dont want to have sex again till i get married,but he thinks im saying this cause i want to pressure him to marry me, but i swear its not because of that, im afraid to get preg again cause he wants me to get pregs again in a year or two, and i told him that im not getting preg again until we get married… and when i go to his house hes always touching me , and trying to convince me to have sex, but another reason i dont want to have sex its because i feel like he just wants sex for sex, i mean i didnt have sex just to have sex, i did it because i love him, for me having sex its an act of pure love…and he gets mad because of this, and i told him that if he really loved me, hell wait, but he didnt said anything …
And today he told me "ok ill never touch you again, so dont even bother to say no"… this happened this morning, and so we argued and the point is that i dont know if we are still together or no… his last words were "its a shame that your not for me"… that was about 2 pm and its 7:30 pm and he still hasnt called…
I mean hesa a great dad and i love him to death…
But im afraid hes going to break my heart … How can i stop loving him so he cant break my heart again…
I really need helpJanuary 28, 2008 at 5:12 pm #20334KylieAUS
Sounds like he has already broken your heart. Truthfully, that guy needs a kick in the butt. Motherhood aint easy. We arent supermodels and you do look thin in your pics. Grrr…i hate guys like that. Sounds like he is just using you. He needs to get his priorities right.January 28, 2008 at 11:19 pm #20336Meg11
First off this jerk doesn’t deserve you…sorry for being so harsh with him being your daughters father and all but still he doesn’t deserve you….Second I am 100% thrilled, excited and proud of you for choosing abstinence for this long…You are doing the right thing and he is showing his true colors, just because you have a baby together and have had sex in the past doesn’t mean you have to lay your body down the second he tells you to, I don’t blame you for not wanting to have sex with him, you already know what having a baby is like, he has lost much of your trust and respect and also your want and desire to not have sex again till marriage is very honorable and you will be blessed in that pursuit…I was….I went 2 1/2 years and it was well worth the wait and it was better for my relationship…we knew we were getting married for the right reasons and I also knew that he respected me enough to wait…I would like for him to show me one mom out there who does everything right the first time and has no regrets in parenting…your daughter is healthy, alive, well dressed, clean, I am sure well fed and I can’t see you not giving her enough attention…he needs to get a grip…My daughter was almost 2 when I was 7 pounds away from hitting my original starting weight…I went and bought two pairs of size 5 jeans and felt like I was the cat’s meow!!! Then about a week later I found out I was pregnant…LOL…there goes the size 5’s and I haven’t been in them since and my son is 3….also I am pregnant with #3 so I am not wearing anything close to 5’s…LOL…when I start feeling fat or like I will never be small and cute again I think about Eve…as in Adam and Eve…the first woman EVER…There was not one other woman for her to compare herself to, I bet she had hairy legs, I am sure she got stretch marks and saggy boobs…she didn’t even have a bra!!! She had kids, one of which turned out to be a murderer to his brother…she didn’t have an easy life and she had no one else to compare herself to, she didn’t have a dysfunctional family that set a poor example to her growing up, she never grew up, she was just made as an adult woman, When I feel discouraged about my physical appearance (whether it is because of my own thoughts or others words) I just think about Eve…She didn’t have a scale or a mirror, she was just the way she was and she was the first woman to ever give birth, can you imagine how she felt going into labor not knowing what to expect…LOL…I along with many other girls on here can see your beauty, both physical and inward…don’t let this guy tear you down, he is not the one who carried a baby for 9 months and pushed her out of a tiny opening, I have never been anorexic or bulemic so I can’t pretend to understand what goes through your mind but if it helps at all just know that you are pretty, you look great for having a 3 month old and there is always going to be someone thinner and someone bigger than you…you just need to be you, your daughter sees you as just you, she doesn’t look at your body and judge you physically, she truly loves you, pure and unconditional love…I had a little girl at a wedding this weekend want to touch my tummy to feel the baby…she poked her finger around a minute and then said…it just feels like fat…LOL….and you know what, there is some left overs from my other two kids and she was telling the truth..LOL…I can let it break me down and ruin my day or I can look at my kids and know that they were worth the layer of fat and the stretch marks, nothing compares…I would take on more than that just to know that my kids love me and that I have done my best…even through all the mistakes…and there have been MANY MANY MANY of those…I bet Eve felt like a failure when her son killed his brother…that is life…we all have choices to make, do your best with what is given you and you will be fine…just ditch the jerk and Stand strong in your values and you will go very very far…I hope this helped…Love Meg..January 29, 2008 at 12:02 am #20339Anonymous
hun he sounds like a jerk! he has no right to put you down and the things he is saying are just plain cruel and nasty. if he is not there day in day out then he cant criticize the job you are doing looking after your daughter. put this guy in his place.
p.s you have a beautiful baby and i think your doing a great job, stay strong! xxFebruary 7, 2008 at 10:55 am #20378mickey123
what a jerkoff!!!!he doesnt deserve u or the baby,he doesnt value u 2 for what ur worth.if i was in ur shoes,i would move on and leave him behind…i know alot of times the parents want 2 stay 2gether 4 the kids,but if the parents are always arguin or puttin each other down,this carries on2 the child,growin up with a bad childhood and no self esteem,and u know harsh words and insults can often escalate to physical abuse….kepp all your options open,stayin with him isnt the only one!!:)August 22, 2008 at 11:16 pm #21984Anonymous
how did everything work out for you?
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