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September 1, 2006 at 7:08 am #11660Mommytwice
My husband is starting to talk about divorce, and we have two children, and twins on the way. I’m so scared, I love him, and he says that he loves me, but he can’t be with me right now because there are things that he has to do. We’ve been together since we were fourteen and I am his first everything. I don’t want to be alone, I’m horrified. When december comes, I will have four children under three, and three of them will be under one. What should I do, I’m so stressed and scared, and I have never felt so horrible in my life. He says he will come back to me and the kids, but he wants to live his own life for a while, do you think that he’s lying. Please help me.
Pregnant, scared, and alone,
Michelle J.September 2, 2006 at 8:22 am #11665Anonymous
what about you and your life. he made a choice he needs to take a reality check that its not all about him my dad left my mom and i hated him for just giving up. if he really loves you he’ll stay and if he still doesnt he is not worth it not worth being your husband or your kids daddy. when i read your message i got so pissed. how can guys be like that how can they just decide to leave and think they can come back after sleeping around and getting drunk and high. i think you need to standup to him. remember he does not control you
you go standup girl!September 3, 2006 at 5:15 pm #11667Anonymous
I can see your pain and fear. It is a big job to be a Mom, and moreso to four kids! It is equally a big job to be a wife. Marriage is a ongoing job where you have to work at it everyday. Yet the benefits are fabulous.
I can imagine that your husband is pretty scared right now. He will be responsible for six people come December and that’s a lot of family to feed and care for. My husband was pretty overwhelemed when I was first pregnanct as well. It took some time for him to process this news and at times he admitted his insecurity at upcoming fatherhood. So, he is not the first to be worried.
What is difficult about growing up is the realization that we sometimes make choices in life that disqualify us from other options later on. I can imagine that your husband is trying to deal with that problem. Since he chose to have sex with you and marry you at a young age he then disqualified himseld from some freedoms that his other friends have everyday. He can’t just spend money wherevery he feels, or go out at night at anytime. No, he is a father and a husband and both of those choices mean that he must consider others before himself. If he is wise, he will spend some time with other men who can point him back to his family. I pray those men will show him that being a man means doing what is right, even when it means we don’t get what we want.
You sound scared and hurt…both feelings are reasonable. Please get some support from an older and wiser woman. You can also find a Christian church and get some time with a counselor who can help you make good choices in this time of confusion. Remember that even though you are hurting an scared, you must still make good choices in your marriage. If you lash out at your husband now, he might try to take that as a sign he should be gone more often. Is that tough advice? You bet it is. But it will bring about great rewards for you and your children.
I will pray for you and your husband. I know this is hard and remember that you are a strong woman who can handle this with grace. Your post makes me think of a verse in the Bible "God is close to the broken hearted and saves those whose spirits are crushed." You are not alone, and this too shall pass in your life. It’s ok to cry at times, but remember that God made you strong enough to have two kids! That makes you ready for this too, however it turns out.
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