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March 4, 2007 at 4:06 am #15516lolajessup
i am19, and my boyfriend is 24. we have been seeing each other for 5 months, and decided to make it exclusive 3 months ago. a few days ago i found out i was pregnant. i wasnt feeling well, and i just decided on a whim to test, and it was positive. i told him when he got home from class that night when we went to bed. he hasnt been supportive this whole time. he brought up abortion, which i told him absolutly not. now he thinks adoption is better. there is no way i am giving my baby up for adoption. he just wont see it my way. he says we cant support this baby financially. we cant even support ourselves right now. we’ve both had a hard financial time these last couple months. we try to help each other but sometimes its not enough. lately we’ve been fighting over things a lot. he doesnt tell me things, purposly hides things from me, and i talk to him about it but he still hasnt stopped. he just keeps repeating it. i dont know if our relationship is ever going to get better. it seems like its in regression instead of progressing. he told his mom, and she agrees with him. she asked what we’re going to do if we break up. i told my cousin and she agrees with me. she said he’ll come around. she also said if he doesnt want anything to do with me or the baby then i will be able to do it. we have a very supportive family. i am still scared to tell my mom though. she was always the perfect one in the family. so i dont know what to do or how to make my boyfriend come around to the idea of keeping the baby. i know we cant afford it, but its my baby, and i dont want to regret not keeping it just because he doesnt want us to. anybody help please. im so scared. thanksMarch 4, 2007 at 2:07 pm #15518eager
hey i understand what you’re going through.when i found out i had only been with the guy for a little while and abortion was the only thing he could see as an option.guys just don’t get what it feels like when you are pregnant,the thought of purposely killing your child is just impossible-well it was for me anyway.he told me if i didn’t abort then he never wanted to hear from me or the child ever again and that if i did abort he promised to be with me forever and later in the future we could have children and all this crap.and in weak moments i believed him and actually considered abortion.but luckily i pulled through my doubts and stood my ground.and yeah he cut me out of his life and i havent spoken to him since.not a day goes by that i am not proud for the decision i made and stuck by and i cant imagine how much it would have messed me up if i had of aborted.maybe you will end up in my situation,maybe you will have to go through this without him.and it isnt easy,its the hardest thing ive ever done,but its worth it.im 26 weeks now and my baby is worth far more to me than any guy could ever be.you will get through this,and when the times right you will tell your mum and no mater what happens here on out you will get through it and be a stronger person because of it.if you ever need to talk write me okMarch 4, 2007 at 2:52 pm #15523Lcortez
im sure he’ll come around… no man’s just going to give up a child like that, unless he’s heartless.. plus atleast you have your family’s support.. and states alone provide a lot for babies (like healthcare and food) if your really in that much of a financial jam. you just gotta stay stong. good luck. -elenaMarch 4, 2007 at 3:10 pm #15525Meagi
You should give into those mommy instincts and protect your baby. If your boyfriend leaves you I think you’re a strong enough women to make it through. It also sounds like you’re family will help you through. And I was scared to tell my mom too. I waited so long that by the time i did, she had pretty much figured it out.March 6, 2007 at 7:16 am #15561bweber
don’t let him guilt you into an abortion or adoption if u don’t want to. it’s his baby too, so wether he stays with you or not he has a responisbility to you and that baby. i wish you all that luck.March 6, 2007 at 8:57 am #15584Meg11
I completly agree with all the other ladies. Thank you for choosing life. There are so many recources out there to help you be a parent. I have never felt bad for receiving food stamps because I was always working and paying my taxes. I put in there fore I received what I needed. Now that I am married I no longer receive food stamps because the Lord has brought me new provision. Dont let anyone put you down for wanting to keep the baby or for using the recources you might have to to keep your head above water. Being a mom is wonderful but make sure that you learn from this situation. In most cases I have heard of a Husband rarely asks his wife to abort and would most likely not want to put the child up for adoption. There fore I would encourage you to stand on the truth and not put yourself into a position that could get you preg again untill your married. If a man wont marry you before you have sex with him then in MOST cases (not all) he wont stand by you through the hard times. After 10 yrs of being sexually active and 2 kids later I made that choice. I went through both pregnancies on my own ( 2 diff dads) at that point I decided never again. I kept both of my children and spent 4 yrs as a single parent. I am now married to a man that I did not have sex with untill our wedding night and I know we will both rejoice when we find out that Im pregnant. I hope and pray that you will join me in having an awesome testimony some day and that if this man truly loves you he will marry you or that single parent hood will strengthen you as much as it did me 🙂 love and God bless MegMarch 6, 2007 at 11:22 am #15597mummy2addyson
Dont worry about telling your mom. seriously she may get angry to start off with (she may surprise you and not get angry at all) but after a little while she will come around. i was so scared to tell my mum and she didnt talk to me for like 2 months but now she is the best nana ever! dont let it stress you out because it will stress out your little bean too. if your bf doesnt want to be involved, then thats up to him. hes just going to miss out on the great stuff your little one will do. Its great you have a supportive family, that can help alot. Plus i know what you mean about money issues, i personally am on a benefit for single moms, but as soon as Addyson is old enough im going to start working part time. so there is always help from the government too if you need it. You dont have to make your bf come around to the idea of having a baby. He will either be a man about it and support you or leave. and if he leaves he wasnt worth it anyways. Dont let him pressure you into doing anything you dont want to (abortion or adoption) you are the mum, you are the one who gets to grow your little bean for 10months, you should be able to decide how you want to deal with things. i hope i helped a little 🙂 and remember… keep smiling, you have been blessed with a child, knowing that will make you smile now, and once they are born, they will continue to make you smile with all the beautiful things they do 🙂March 7, 2007 at 2:53 am #15613lolajessup
a little update from me… i wanted to thank you girls so much. you are all such an inspiration. your words and advise have gotten me able to let ym boyfriend know i want to keep this baby whether he helps me or not. i want him there, but i told him it was his decision, i wasnt going to MAKE him stay. his mom wants us to keep it in the family, and i know my mom would say the same thing. the best option really is to keep this baby, or else our family will have to adopt it, and i know that would cause more problems than us keeping it. i dont want to let my family down again. i havent finished college, and my bf thinks i wont be able to. i told him about all the stong women on here who didnt have to give up their dreams. i will show him. i will show my family. i will show everyone!!!! i am not going to let this get me down. i need to step up and make this work. i am going to give my baby the best i can, no matter how hard it will be. thanks again ladies!!! much love, LauraMarch 7, 2007 at 2:00 pm #15662MrsTWalsh
If you want this baby , you should keep it. I think that very few people have planned for a baby or are financially prepared. Babies are generally surprises. Even if your boyfriend choses not to be involved, you can do it. There are alot of programs out there to help. Also, your parents may surprise you and they can be an awesome support system. Congrats!
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