- This topic has 5 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated by .
December 1, 2006 at 3:27 am #13554Mia3
Hi, my name is Mia. I just stumbled across this site and decided right away that I have to join ASAP. This is exactly what I was looking for when I sat down at my computer today. I just need to talk to other girls about what I’m going through and what I’ve been through because I’m not really ready to talk to my family about it just yet. I’ll be glad to hear what you ladies think. So, I am a 23 year old mother of three boys right now, however I first became a mother at the age of 17. I gave birth to all three of these boys by the time I was 21. In between my second and third child however, I did make the horrible decision of having an abortion. My husband and I already had our hands full with the first two boys and couldn’t really imagine how we would manage with another. We went through with the abortion in 2002 and I have never talked about it since. The only ones who know it even happened(until now) was my husband and I. I felt so horrible about it I tried to just push it out of my mind, but I still think about it everyday. Since then I gave birth to another child in 2005, but this last pregnancy was just filled with complications. My son and also myself almost died in the process. To this day I feel that the complications were due to the abortion that I had in the past. Which brings me to my new dilemma. The reason I was even searching for a site like this is because I think that I might be pregnant again, and again I’m not sure what to do about it. My little family and I are just barely making ends meet as it is, I know that at this time we could never support another child. The five of us live in a tiny two bedroom apt. and my husband is the only one working right now while I go to school. We’re really struggling right now and I don’t think we could handle another baby. I’m also really concerned and scared that I would have another pregnancy full of complications. As terrible as I felt the first time, I am seriously thinking that this is the only way. On the other hand, if I am pregnant, it might be the little girl that I’ve always wanted. I don’t know, I just really don’t know what to do right now.December 2, 2006 at 4:28 am #13580Anonymous
If you really think you can not support another child, there is always the option of adoption. Adoption is an espescially good choice for you, because if you only want to keep a girl, you could only keep the baby if it is a girl. Aborting would only hurt you and it might be dangerous for you, if you think it might have damaged your uterus last time.December 2, 2006 at 10:13 am #13599Anonymous
My name is Mia too. And I am 19 yrs. old. I sat at the computer to research pregnancy because my period is late this month… usually I start menstrating around this time, 27-the end of the month or so. Ihave been stretched every which direction, am I pregnant or aren’t I. My boyfriend and I have spoken thoroughly about this issue. He firmly believes if it turns out I am pregnant we would have an abortion. But I am very torn on the subject. On one hand how could you kill your own child? And on the other, if we are not prepared and ready to give this child everything, what quality of life would that be for a new baby? Reading your post gives me a bit more insight on the topic, as i have never been pregnant before. Even though you may experience times of struggle it appears as though you wouldnt give any of it up.
Hopefully I will not be forced to make such a tormenting decision.
thank you for sharing your thoguhts.
-miaDecember 2, 2006 at 4:24 pm #13606Wonderfulmistake
Hey there, please give your child a chance if your pregnant again. We already know how an abortion can make you feel especially when you have no one to talk to. I’m sure your doctor can advise you on any complications you might incur during your pregnancy but this might be the little girl you’ve always wanted. Please consider giving your possible child a chance. Where theres a will there is a way. I’m sure you didn’t think you could afford 3 children but you’ve made it and I’m sure you will continue to make ends meet. Your kids might not have the newest game system but they’ll have you and a loving dad and 3 wonderful brothers. Personally I’ve had an abortion and a part of me regrets that decision so whenever I see an indivdual leaning that wat I try my hardest to convince them to give there baby a chance. Hope this helped, feel free to email me sometime if you need to talk.;)December 3, 2006 at 4:22 pm #13625kez_mummy_2_skye
Adoption is also a good idea if you guys can afford another bub but at least the baby gets a life. Keep us posted if you are pregnant or notDecember 7, 2006 at 1:26 pm #13753Anonymous
I am always a little sad to hear people make any kind of gender preferences – but I fully acknowledge that as someone who has dealt with years of infertility followed by 6 miscarriages I am hypersensitive to anyone caring what the gender of their baby is. Believe me – I would give anything on earth to have 4 boys or 4 girls!
That being said…an above poster mentioned that you could make an adoption plan. today’s open adoptions allow for future contact. I am the mother of a beautiful 2 year old and we are i na fullly open adoption with his birthparents. Believe it or not, it is not at all uncommon for married couples to d o this. I’m not at a ll saying it’s right for you – just an optin. Our son’s birthparents have been and are still together for 8 years and are raising their 6 year old.
Please talk to a doctor about your health before using that an excuse. I know you are overwhelmed…… but please atleast let this baby live.
Hugs. I know this sis atough time for you.
- The forum ‘Personal Experiences – Just Let It Out!’ is closed to new topics and replies.